Anxiey

I hope you all don't mind, but it is late, and I need to vent somehow. As my surgery date approaches, I find myself becoming more and more anxious. I am actually taking my Xanax to curb my anxiety. Please let me explain. January 2001, I had my 3rd child by c-cection. Within 3 days I had developed a high fever, then debilitating chills, and I just felt bad. Then I thought my asthma was getting worse, I was having trouble breathing. On the 3rd nite I awoke at about 3 am, and felt really bad, like I couldn't breath, and I was so cold, (blankets, winter coat,etc), it was all I could do to buzz the nurse, good thing I did, I wound up in ICU on life support. Apparently during my surgery "something" happened. I contracted e-coli, that turned septic, and also contract ARDS,,both have very high mortality rates. Anyway with a fever of 107, and on an ice bed, I don't remember anything of the next 3 days. I was dubbed "miracle mom" when I came out of it 3 days later, I had lots of people praying for me, and the doctors still have no explaination as to my sudden cure,,,but I know.....anyway, after this I suffered with panic attacks,,,and had therapy,,,and still till today, have some health anxiety,,,like when my kids get sick, I probably get more nervous then most, for less then most. So that brings me to my upcoming surgery, I feel like it is conguring up alot of old anxiety for me. The last few days I have been nauseaus (sp?), hot and cold, shaking, heart palps. and very agitated. I know what it is,,,its anxiety. This will be the first hospitalization and surgery for me since this has happened to me. I am trying to cope, and hoping that putting it in words tonight will help me to work thru this. I know that the chances of that happening again are minute, and I am desperatly trying to give it over to God, I want this surgery so bad, I will not allow myself to back out,,,but I just need to get thru the next few weeks before I drive myself batty. If you are still reading, thank you,,,I didn't mean to ramble, but I just need to "get it all out there" to find a way thru. Vee

AWWWWWWWW Vee, You ramble all you want girlfriend!! I can totally understand why you would be having those feelings after what happened in '01. But, you said yourself, the chances of a repeat episode are minute. Just keep that in mind. I know, words dont do a whole lot to help calm the fears. I hate that we all have to go through this........but we do. No one wants to die. And when I was really scared.........I would come on here and read profiles of people who, despite dire complications, said they would do the surgery again in a heartbeat. That has to count for something, dont you think? We are all pulling for you!! Stay Strong! willby

Vee, I was extremely anxious as well about this surgery. I had a bad experience with one of my breast cancer surgeries back in 2001 and have always been afraid of every surgery since. I've had 7 since. But, this one, I was really scared. There were a couple of things I did to help reduce my anxiety. One is that I read books about WLS. It really helped. It talked about possible problems, but, all shared stories of success. The more I knew the less fear I felt. The other thing I did was keep reminding myself of what my current life and future life would be without WLS. I was already having great difficulty walking, I had to use a cane and was in knee pain all the time. Both my parents are SMOs and can't walk even though they are only 61 and 62. Mother has congestive heart failure and has had 2 kinds of cancer, my father is diabeti****pt thinking that I probably had about a 2% risk of dying from the surgery and about a 40% complication rate, but, I really believe I had 100% chance of following in the footsteps (or should I say, lack of footsteps) of my parents had I not done the surgery. My fear of lifelong ill health outweighed my WLS fears. I don't know if that helps or not. Lori 384/274/170

Hi Vee, I thought I replied to your post the other day..maybe I clicked the wrong button..go figure. Anyways, I just wanted to let you know that it is perfectly normal to feel full of anxiety. Believe me, I know. I wish I didn't have to go through all of the hospital prep to get this surgery. Hospitals always remind me of something sad. There are so many people that wander those halls with worry and fear for their loved ones..it doesn't seem right seeing and hearing doctors, nurses and staff members laughing and joking around while so many people are in need. Even the smell of the place congers-up memories of sadder times. I had a procedure done in a hospital last year and wondered why my husband was so sad and quite.(heck, I was only having a hernia thing)...it wasn't till later that I remembered that I was checking into the same hospital that his mom died in..and that was 20 years before. It is hard to forget some of the memories of the place. I try to see this(wls) as a "happy time" We make this trip to the hospital for a happy experience..a re-birth...a chance to get control of our eating habits for good! A new life is just around the corner for you my friend! I have seen first-hand the change that this surgery can make in your life. Well, that being said....Wednesday is just 3 days away....and your date is just around the corner!!!! Us Arizona gals gotta stick together right??? Take care..you...I mean WE can do this !!! Hugs, Virginia