Really Down
I have been taking care of my mom during illnesses for a long time. I fly to Florida from Virginia. I have spent 6 weeks there since July. One brother forgot a surgery, another her birthday, another threatened to beat me up. Who is on their bad girl list? You guessed it me. I got fed up with them for trying to get me to reconcile with the brother who threatened me and tried to express my feelings and got emotional when they gave me a bunch of crap. What a mess. Now off course I feel like crap. I told them I wouldn't come home for Christmas and I am glad. I can't handle another week of my mother's lies and manipulation. My mother has alway been like this. It is not from her illness. I don't need to hear they are the only parents you have... I give myself to them all the time. I just need a little love. Loris
Loris,
You aren't going to hear "they are the only parents you have" thing from me. I wish very serious or terminal illnesses made the patient become more loving, less deceitful and less determined to cause guilt in others, but, unfortunately, that is very often not the case. About 5 years ago, my mother was diagnosed with stage 3 uterine and kidney cancer. Even though I was taken away from her for child abuse at 15 years old and we've had a very spotty almost non-existent relationship ever since, I still rushed to her side to see how I could help her. She was nice at first, but, gradually became her old abusive self. About 2 years ago, I developed a pre-cancerous uterus myself. My doctor asked me to ask my mother to release her medical records. She did so, but really made me feel she had really put herself out for it. Finally telling me, "why do you think I care if you have cancer again?" "I don't want you anywhere within 100 miles of my funeral." "I never want to talk to you again." I sat there stunned. I kept telling her how ridiculous it was that she was saying this stuff to me. But, after I hung up, I thought, I don't need this. I really don't. So, I've never called her since, nor she I.
She's too toxic to have a relationship with.
Sorry you have to know what I mean.
Lori
384/274/170
Loris, (((HUGS))))
I am so sorry that you have been treated so terribly, I think that all families have at least one or two members that they wish they were not related too, i know I do. It is so sad that families are the ones that hurt you the most. I am sad to say i would choose my friends over my family most of the time, but i think family hurts so much more because they think they can get away with it and you will still love them, isnt that a rotten way to be? I hope you know that you are cared for and loved by your SMO family.
Karyn
I am so sorry that you have been treated so terribly, I think that all families have at least one or two members that they wish they were not related too, i know I do. It is so sad that families are the ones that hurt you the most. I am sad to say i would choose my friends over my family most of the time, but i think family hurts so much more because they think they can get away with it and you will still love them, isnt that a rotten way to be? I hope you know that you are cared for and loved by your SMO family.
Karyn 
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((LORIS))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
I WAS LUCKY IN THE FACT THAT MY DAD DIDN'T GET LIKE THAT B4 HE DIED BUT HE ONLY LIVED 3 MONTHS AFTER CONTRACTING CANCER 
I REALLY MISS HIM 
BUT MY G POPS WAS JUST LIKE WHAT YOU R DESCRIBING HE BECAME PARANOID AND OBSESSIVE AND VERY MEAN 
I HAD TO CHOOSE NOT TO BE AROUND HIM EVEN THOUGH I LOVED HIM I HAD TO TELL MYSELF IT WASN'T HIM IT WAS HIS ILLNESS
SO KEEP YOUR HEAD UP AND KNOW WE R HERE FOR U IF YOU NEED US 
LOVE CANDY 
I REALLY MISS HIM BUT MY G POPS WAS JUST LIKE WHAT YOU R DESCRIBING HE BECAME PARANOID AND OBSESSIVE AND VERY MEAN I HAD TO CHOOSE NOT TO BE AROUND HIM EVEN THOUGH I LOVED HIM I HAD TO TELL MYSELF IT WASN'T HIM IT WAS HIS ILLNESS
SO KEEP YOUR HEAD UP AND KNOW WE R HERE FOR U IF YOU NEED US
LOVE CANDY Most Active
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