son

My son has decided he wants to come live with us. I told him there was rules and he says ok with sarcasim. I think I am in for a ride with this one. someone that has raised a troubled teen please help. I want him to know I care and love him but he really has a bad attitude.

marie((((((((BIG TEEN SON TROUBLE HUG))))))))) I'm writing you this after just having a fight with my 16 year old. It went something like this "Brian....NO PHONE CALLS AT 2AM!!!!" "Mom....I dont want to hear it........SLAM" Teenagers are a major pain in the A$$!!!!!!!!!! I'm going to murderlize mine one day. The best advice I've heard so far is.........pick your battles. Cuz they want to fight about EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!! GOOD LUCK GIRLFRIEND!!! willby

willby, you always make things seem so realistic. and make me feel not so bad and alone. I need you to be my neighbor. And I thank everyone for the pick my battles. Life seems such a battle all the time that sometimes I forget to pick my battles.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((MARIE)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) GOOD LUCK FROM A MOM WHO HAS A MOUTHY TEENAGER TOO LOVE CANDY

you guys are scaring me! My sweet innocent little 5 year old angel would never turn into a smart mouth punk brat teenager.......RIGHT?

I have a 13 yr old son who thinks hes 21 and an 11 year old preteen who thinks she is 18 More power to you I agree pick your battles or you will be arguing about everything I just keep thinking 40 with kids in college Nalani

yeah, that is what I thought when mine was 13 now I just pray that I can get him to finish high school.

((((((((((((((big hug))))))))))) for Marie!!! I have two teen daughters 16 and 15. NOT FUN 95% of the time, but boy do I love that 5% when they are human LOL. It is true what another responder said - pick your battles. Stand tough on the important issues and don't let him see you sweat!! We're here for you anytime you need us!!! teenagers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Carol V

hi marie: i've got a 19 and a 15 year old and they are soooooooo smart. just makes me wonder how they got that way when their poor stupid parents ARE SO IMPOSSIBLY DENSE!!! pick your battles is the best way to go. count to ten alot, then do it again. try to remember your own teens. that always helps me. hang in there. hugs dorthe

I'd discuss it with my husband and agree to houshold rules the boy has to follow. If he's coming to live with you because he thinks he can get away with more at your house than at his father's, he needs to know that isn't going to happen. I'd explain his responsibilities (doing his own laundry, keeping his room relatively clean, carrying a C+ to a B average, curfew, and whatever chores you think he should do) and the rewards of following the rules (an allowance you think is fair, transportation that supports his social life, phone privileges, use of the tv, use of the computer, participation in fun activities with the rest of the family). I'd go so far as to type these things out as a contact and have him sign it. If he doesn't want to follow your rules, he doesn't want to live with you. If you'd be the stricter parent by making and enforcing rules like these, you should take him. You'll be doing him (and society at large) a favor. Kids (especially teenagers) need rules and structure. If you have expectations of them, they'll start to have them for themselves. I wouldn't even put up with sarcasm. I'd tell him, I don't speak to you in that tone, and I expect the same courtesy in return. Something that motivates kids to follow the rules is the idea that if they are respectful and try to do what you ask, you'll treat them like adults -- you'll take them seriously and show them respect. Good luck with your son. It'll be a big adjustment.