Twas The Night Before Bypass
Twas the night before bypass when all through the house
Not a creature was resting
Not even my spouse.
The cupboards were stocked with beef broth and water,
In hopes that a thinner me would be a lot hotter!
The donuts were nestled all snug in the trash
Along with what's left of my huge junk food stash.
Me in my plus-size and pretty pink scarf
Had just done the bowel-prep
And wanted to barf!
The bowel-prep came up and started to splatter
HELL! By now I don't care if I get a LOT fatter!
I looked out the window, it had started to snow,
Looking just like my fave mashed potatoes. OH NO!
When what to my wandering eye should appear,
But a Hersheys Miniature sleigh and 8 newly slim reindeer.
There was a little old driver so lively and sassy,
I knew in a moment it must be St.Gassy.
More rapid than dumping his coursers they came
He burped, and he foamed and he called them by name.
Now Stringcheese! Now Splenda! Now Sweet! And Now Low!
On Tofu! On H! On 2! And on O!
To the top of the porch to the top of the wall,
Now Mrs. Dash, Mrs. Dash, Mrs. Dash away all!!!
St Gassy sprang to his sled
To his team gave a whistle
And away they all flew,
Like a big piece of gristle.
But I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight,
HAPPY BYPASS TO ALL AND TO ALL A SLIM LIFE!!!
willby
Huggs,
Ruth 
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