Sons Fiancee' Stage II

hi all, Today, my sons finacee'(who is 32) had surgery to determine if her cancer was only in the breast. Unfortunately, it has spread to the lymph glands. They removed 6 glands and sent them away for biopsy. My son is 26 and he is a BIG guy. It was sooooooooooo hard to see him crying. i just didnt know what to say. WHAT can you say in that situation? I'm scared for her and I'm scared for my son. Thanks for listening! willby

Gosh WILLBY, You just put my whiny post above in perspective. Cancer is such an ugly thing. You hear about it more and more with younger people too. I hope everything goes well. She CAN beat this I have heard amazing stories from people who do O.K. Afterwards. I have an aunt who had 20+ glands removed and she overcome when even her doctor's didn't think she would. Keep thinking positively and be there for him, as I am sure you will. My uncle said when my aunt was going through her treatments and surgeries the best thing for him was people who let him breakdown and then helped him build himself back up because he couldn't do that in front of her. Best wishes and you all will be in my thoughts and prayers. Lorie

Thank you Lorie, ((((BIG HUG))))) willby

(((((((WILLBY))))))) You poor dear. You have really been tested these last few months. Im so sorry to hear that the cancer spread. It must be so difficult to feel so helpless for your son and his fiance. There isnt much you can say to him, just listen and give him hugs when he needs them. Life is a hard lesson sometimes, and it sure isnt fair or easy. He will need you now more then ever, so it will help him to see you getting healthier every day. She is young, so that is on her side. Now with all the great medical care, hopefully they caught it in time and it will be treatable. She may be really sick from the treatments, but she will have a good support team with you and your son and family there with her. Try to be strong for them. Come here if you need support and if you need to vent. Whatever you need, just ask. Love ya, Soos

Grandma, Thanks for being there(yet again). I truly appreciate it! willby

Cancer sucks, but it is not necessarily a death sentence. My wife is a cancer victim. She will have finished her chemo 13 years on December 17. My wife was also 32 years old when she got it. The doctors said that because she was younger and stronger they could give her much more aggressive treatments. The cancer altered her life a lot and she went thru quit a few bad years but is doing much better in the last couple of years. You should read the book about Lance Armstrong " It's not about the bike". John

john, Thank you so much for sharing your story! I appreciate it. I'm so glad to hear that your wife is a cancer survivor. willby

oh wilby, i'm so sorry to hear the cancer had spread. but the previous posts are correct. they've come so far with cancer treatment now, it's not always the death sentence it used to be. what to say to your son? tell him he's got lots of angels praying for him and his situation. let him know you're there for him no matter what. most of all, be there to listen. sending positive thoughts and prayers your way. take care dorthe

(((((((((((DORTHE))))))))) Thank you for your engouraging words! I appreciate them! willby

Willby, I am so sorry to hear that! Cancer is very scary. I can tell you that I have been through it with my father, who is a wonderful man, smart, strong, educated, healthy......you know, the kind of guy who never goes to the doctor? Well, when I was 17, he got a lump in his neck and ignored it, lumps in his groin he ignored, and, finally, lumps in his elbows so big you could see them plain as day through his shirt. So, finally, he went to the doctor. They did a biopsy, and, of course, it was cancer. They scheduled him for surgery right away and opened his whole chest and abdomen up, removed his spleen, part of his liver and dozens of tumors from his abdomen and groin, and he was then diagnosed with Stage 4 Hodgkins. The doctor said "end stage." So, he started chemo, and all of us were hoping for the best but expecting the worst. He had high doses of chemo every single Friday for a year, and spent every weekend sick as a dog, but he never missed a day of work. He was about 38 then, I think,a nd today, 15 years later, heis a picture of health, absolutely no relapses and not even a cold since. There is always a reason to be optimistic. I always hear there is no cure for cancer, but as far as I am concerned there is, my dad is proof. I am not sappy or emotional, but I really believe that being hopeful and planning for the future like you are going to be there helps. If my father ever thought he wasn't going to make it, I never got that idea. He was planning vacations, working on the house, talking about our college graduations like he knew he was going to be there. I know this probably doesn't help you, but I truly wish the best for you, and I will be thinking of you, your son and his fiance. Best wishes, Carrie