OT:my child wrote to me

HELP I am a cheater I am a stealer HELP I am a child with no place to go HELP I am a lier blame it all on me HELP I hurt my mom I hurt my dad HELP I hurt any one that comes near me my mom my dad my granny my pop but I am a child and I am the only one who can change it ok this is from a almost 12 year old that last week cut her arm and carved names in it I dont know what to say to her any more we have been doing this mental thing for a long time and I am lost can some one help I dont know were else to turn I love you guys shelley

This may or may not be the popular answer but it is the right one, pray. I work in the field of child psychiatry and I have seen what meds can do to help. However, I have seen even more dramatic changes through the power of prayer in Jesus' name and the application of God's Word-The Bible. I would recommend to you the book- The Power Of A Praying Parent by Stormie Omartian. I also recommend that you find support for you and your husband as you are dealing with a difficult child. Talking to other parents who are going through this( and believe me there are plenty) will help you feel less alone and you can learn from their trial and error. I hope this helps. If you need to vent, come on this board, we all have things we struggle with totally unrelated to WLS. Be encouraged, Vickie BTW- I hope you are doing well in your healing process.

oh I have been on my knees more then my feet these days her meds are not working and all they want to tell me is long term care places I am not lossing my child I will fight until I can fight no more

hi shelley: i think vickie's answer is wonderful and i really have nothing to add to it - however - i will send prayers for your daughter, for your family, and for your well being on your own journey. healing hugs dorthe

MHO only... professional help for the whole family. Peace, Ruth

Shelly, I feel you I have a 13 year old who will be 14 in January who gives me trouble too. I will keep you and your in my prayers. My sons meds are not working either and we are going through He**. I can definately relate to your situation. I have been told so many different things i have really gotten discouraged. I am in the process of him seeing someone else so I can get another opinion. I have been dealing with things since he was 5. I have also been told that meds tend to have to be changed a lot during the preteen and teen years due to their bodies changing. If you ever need to talk feel free to email me. My other email is [email protected]. Keep your head up. We can't give up on them because most others already have Smile, nalani

Hi Shelley, I agree with what everyone else said.. Just adding that if you've had professional help all this time and her meds aren't working.. Perhaps it's time to find a new professional to help you guys.. New therapist and dr maybe??

Shelley, I agree with wls chik, you need to find someone else if you have been getting help and nothing has changed.

Everyone here is talking about a "child giving you trouble" - from your post I don't see a child giving you trouble a see a child that is in trouble. I was once that child, I used to cut myself, i used to burn myself, I have horrible scars from it all now. I did it because the pain it caused was worse than the pain i was feeling and it made me forget the pain was in. I remember IT actually felt GOOD to cut myself. I was not a trouble causing child, my parents thought I was a very well behaved child, unless they were in a bad mood, then everything became my fault, and I was beat for it. Unfortunately they were in bad moods more often than not, eventually my gramma took me in and things got a little better. I still suffered greatly from what my parents did though and I still cut myself even after I went to grammas. Eventually gramma found out and I went to a therapist, and talked things over, and got on some meds, and now I am perfectly ok. But beleive me, it was not easy. I was very depressed, 12 - 16 is a very hard age kids can be ruthless especially if there is something different about you - overweight, tall, short, voice, haircut, whatever. Is there something different about your kid? it may be normal to you, but definately there is some underlying issue I am sure. Does she have a lot of friends, are they all like her (body type, age, hair, classes, smarts etc) I am WAY AGAINST snooping through her stuff but when you are putting socks away or vaccuuming her room "accidentaly" knock something over and read it... you may find out something... She sounds sad to me... take care Jeremy

I agree with you Jeremy that she seems sad. However, when you are dealing with a child with cutting issues that is difficult. That is what I meant by dealing with a difficult child(see my post). I know that there is not really a way to figure out what is going on in a child's head unless you do a little accidental knocking over of stuff or you have a very talkative child. Shelly and any other parent dealing with these issues don't brush off what the child is saying. She or he really does feel these things. It is sad but true. I hope everyone who knows you guys is being supportive. And Jeremy I appreciate you presenting the facts from another point of view. -Vickie