" DISCOURAGED"

I HAVE BEEN READING THE POST TODAY OF HOW SOME OF YOU HAVE STARTED EATING AGAIN AFTER ALL THE THINGS YOU HAVE BEEN THRU TO HAVE THIS SURGERY. I KNOW IT IS NEVER GONNA BE THE EASIEST THING IN THE WORLD TO DO AND THERE ARE DAYS WHEN IT WILL TAKE ALL YOU HAVE TO MAKE THE RIGHT DESICIONS. AND I DONT KNOW ABOUT YA'LL, BUT I WILL ALWAYS BE ADDICTED TO FOOD. BUT AT SOME TIME OR ANOTHER YOU HAVE GOT TO GET A GRIP ON IT AND NOT LET IT TAKE YOU DOWN. THINK OF WHAT ALL YOU HAVE WENT THRU TO GET HERE. AND LETS ALSO NOT FORGET THE POOR SOLES THAT CANT EVEN GET APPROVED FOR THIS WLS. AND THE ONES THAT HAVE TO SCRATCH UP THE MONEY WITH SECOND AND THIRD MORTAGES ON HOUSES AND SELL THINGS TO GET WHAT WE HAVE BEEN SO BLESSED TO HAVE. I WASNT GOING TO SAY ANYTHING ABOUT THE POSTS BUT IT IS VERY DISSAPOINTING TO SOMEONE LIKE ME IN A PRE OP STAGE. I FEEL FOR EVERYONE AND ALL. IT MAKES ME SOMEHOW LOSE CONFIDENCE IN THE SURGERY SOMEWHAT. I KNOW THAT YALL ARE STRONG WOMEN AND TRY BUT AT SOME POINT WE HAVE TO GET A GRIP AND BE ACCOUNTABLE FOR OURSELVES. I KNOW THERE ARE PEOPLE PERSONALLY THAT I KNOW THAT HAVE DONE SO WELL AND STILL CONTINUE TO DO SO AND THATS WHAT I TRY TO THINK OF AND WHAT KEEPS ME GOING. I HAVE BEEN ON THE PRE SURGERY DIET NOW FOR SOME TIME AND IT IS THE HARDEST THING EVER. BUT I KNOW AND AM TELLING YALL, IF I CAN DO IT , I AM... I WANT TO SO MUCH BE AROUND FOR MY GRANDBABIES AND FAMILY. AND ACTUALLY SEE WHAT ITS LIKE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE HEALTHY STREET. SO PLEASE TRY TO GET IT TOGETHER AND IF WANT TO TALK TO A FOOD ADDICT ANYTIME, EMAIL ME LOL... ILL BE THERE FOR YA.... MARGE

Margaret, I understand where you are coming from. I keep being amazed that folks are getting into a serious exercise program (once their bodies let them) after WLS as I see it as a vital key to long-term success. But, when I say I struggle with food addiction it is real and I probably always well. I try and keep healthy stuff around me, so that if I really must eat, then I just eat stuff that won't hurt me. I postponed getting this surgery for almost 5 years because I was afraid I wouldn't be able to do this successfully. My life as a SMO finally got bad enough that I knew I had to do it. I do wish the surgery would have fixed my cravings for food permanently, like it did the first few months, but, if you are healthy, the body kicks back in and your old ways of coping keep trying to resurface. In some ways, WLS seems like the same old thing to me. I still have to watch what I eat and I have to exercise! But, what this surgery does do is let you lose weight when you are trying to, which was not something I was able to do successfully on my own before the surgery. Lori 384/260.5/168

Hi Marge, I am pre-op also and I too get frightened by others experiences with food addictions and it creeping back up on them. But I take those fears and try and brace myself for when I have to deal with them. For me I can only give support where there are posts of food addictions because I can't say for sure that I won't go through those very same things. I understand what you are saying but I think dealing with head hunger and old food addictions are going to be something else to deal with. I am sitting here thinking to myself, I don't think I am that emotionally tied to food. But the truth is I don't know what I will do and how I will handle my food addictions or battleing old behaviors when I'm able to eat like normal. I'd be willing to bet that everyone goes into WLS thinking they will never allow themselves to fall back into their old ways. Truth is we can only keep battleing our food addictions/old habits one day at a time. I personally believe that we will have to diet for the rest of lives. I look at it as something that just comes with the territory. As I sit and read posts by others especially about how they are dealing with being able to eat more and get frightened by it. I like to watch and learn from others. I sit here and wonder if I will have to eventually become a life time member @ weigh****chers to maintain my WL. But most importantly I sit here and realize that just because I have WLS, I won't be cured of all of my issues, which I get insight about this through the lives of those that have already gone through WLS. And watching the struggles of my fellow OH family. I wish you well and congrats on your up and coming *NEW LIFE*! (((hugs))), Cassandra

hi marge! please don't be discouraged. yes, an addiction to food IS quite difficult to overcome, as is an addiction to anything. but it can be done. i'm just kind of amazed by some of the stuff i read on all the message boards here. i've read posts where people state how many grams of sugar make them dump...i'm 2 weeks away from my one year anniversary, and i still don't know if i dump. i've stayed clear of sugar -- i don't want to know if it makes me dum*****t, or how much i "can get away with" before dumping. all the posts asking "when can i eat pizza? or bread? or whatever." i'm still staying away from pizza. i tried bread for the first time about a month ago, and it was a mistake. i've had steak twice, otherwise i've stayed clear of beef, too. maybe it's because i've got a much longer way to go than non-SMO's. (i was 463 on day of surgery). the holidays were tough at work...so much candy around. but i just keep telling myself that i FEEL so much better than any chocolate is gonna TASTE and so far i've been able to resist it. so anyway, my point here is not put anyone down, but to encourage you! it CAN be done...and YOU can do it! deb -218

Dear Marge I am so sorry there has been so much of this on the board. I feel the same way you do. I am 3 months out on Jan 14.If it helps you or anybody I have never dumped and never ate or tried anything that was not on my doctor's plan. Everyday I am very grateful to have been blessed with this surgery. I have taken this very seriously. I feel this is my one and only chance to regain my health. Maybe for me it was a little different then the other who are having trouble following the plan .I did and do this to regain my health. The weight loss is just an excellent side effect for me. I lost 38 lbs under my surgeons care before surgery and 68 lbs since surgery a grand total of 106 lbs. To me that is mind blowing .I am in this for life not, a quick fix that some may be looking for. I take this surgery as serious as death because without it I would be dead. Everybody's mind set is different and their reasons for surgery different. I just wanted you to know that all post ops are not having such a hard time. Dawn 375/269/?

Marge I too am pre-op, and I have read the stories also. But I don't let it discourage me because in life...with anything, you have to write your own story and walk your own path. Everyone is different, and food addiction is hard to overcome unlike other addictions..you have to eat to live. So if you come across a story that discourages you...if you believe in prayer..pray on it!! I am blessed for ALL the stories, I read because it give me so many views on the WLS, and I believe anyone that is looking into this surgery has to know that it's just a tool! The head has a long road before it actually catches up with the body. Every day is a struggle when it comes to food addiction, and I pray if I am blessed to have the surgery that, I remember I am human, and each day is a new start to get it right! *smoochies* ~NEVER SURRENDER~ ~T~

There are some things that really help control cravings and emotional eating. One is therapy to help understand why we eat the way we do. I think the reason varies from person to person. I'm not saying that all SMOres are crazy, but talk therapy as a self-exploration is a very good coping tool. Another thing someone already mentioned is exercise. Start a program before you have surgery. Realize that regular exercise will always be part of your life. Try eating the way a long-term post op would: have six small meals/snacks a day, and make sure you always include protein. Don't drink anything carbonated. Never eat fast food. Keep a food journal (my surgeon actually requires all of these things). Don't starve yourself, just adhere to a few food rules and eat more or less as you like. If you have joint problems, take a water aerobics class. The other people in class are pretty much all going to be women, and no one will stare at you, believe me. I felt comfortable in my class at the Y and I started taking it weighing about 560 pounds. Compared to me then, you're a skinny girl Even though I still have way too much interest in food, I've found that the little bits I do eat serve the same function as the huge portions I used to enjoy. The difference is that half a cup of nice soup fills me up and satisfies me, whereas it used to take 3 or 4 big bowls. I'm able to eat something I like and be totally satisfied. I'm just eating a lot less of it. Surgery isn't a magic bullet, but can be a very powerful tool. The best use of pre-op time is to learn how to MAINTAIN the weight you'll achieve during your post-op honeymoon. So exercise and keep a food journal and try weaning off fast food and pop. After a few weeks, you really, truly don't miss either, and the exercise actually starts to give you energy. All the chair aerobics I did that focused on my core/torso strength were a huge help to me in the hospital. Not only did I lose 45 pounds or so before surgery, I was able to walk a full circuit around my hospital floor four times the day of the operation. Having that strength has really helped my recovery, and the exercise strengthened my heart and lungs, which helped me avoid pneumonia or other breathing complications from anesthesia. Good luck with your surgery! You're brave to face these worries head on, and forge ahead with a plan.

My addiction, while it can include any food, is primarily to sweets. People often ask me after learning that I've been on this eating plan for more than two years if my craving for sweets has gone. I always say that my craving for sweets will disappear about a month after I'm dead. That's how strong it is. As Lori pointed out, I am one of those who does a grueling exercise program. As a nonop, refusing to exercise is not an option if I want to keep the weight off. Best of luck. Kasey 365/210 (nonop)

I wanted to let you know how your post really hit home with me this evening. I don't eat as well as I should, but I'm NOT eating bad things I just don't do my shakes and all of my protein daily as I should. I'm very fortunate to have been given this wonderful opportunity, and I've had a major talk with my DH and myself and I AM strong enough to work this tool they way it should be and to its full advantage. I thank you so much for this post cause although I know you wrote it for general purposes I feel it was especially meant for me to read so I can get it together. THANK YOU!!!! Take care, Anita

Marge, I am with you in thinking that I do not want to even tempt myself with any junk foods once, if ever I am blessed to have this wls. I am thinking even of looking into a whole health food way of living. My daughter is a Vegitarian and has been commited to healthy living for over 10 years now.. I do admir her. I found out I was Diabetic last May and have not had anything sugar since that time. I will struggle with emotional type feeding.... the feeding of my soul I think of it. So many deep seeded wounds.... and so hard to heal them. I pray hard that I might have this wls and that it might help me achieve my goals of healthier life - this is what I hold on to. Your words are good, and bold too... I am so proud of you. Big Hugs, Aunt Pam