Marlena.....We Need Some Jokes!

Hey Girl! Wheres our daily chuckle? willby

hey willby. i'm not marlena, but maybe this will do. AS I MATURE: i've learned that you cannot make someone love you. all you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in. i've learned that no matter how much i care, some people are just ******** i've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it. i've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. after that, you'd better have a big willy or huge boobs. i've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think. i've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished. i've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities. i've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take it's place. i've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in your house, one of your kids did it. i've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away. have a great day. dorthe

Dorthe, I just loved that! Truer words were never spoken. Thanks for sharing! willby

The Knob A woman in her forties went to a plastic surgeon for a face-lift. The surgeon told her about a new procedure called "The Knob," where a small knob is placed on the top of a woman's head and can be turned to tighten up her skin to produce the effect of a brand new face-lift. Of course the woman wanted "The Knob." Over the course of the years, the woman kept tightening the knob, and the effects were wonderful, and the woman remained young looking and vibrant. After fifteen years, the woman returned to the surgeon with two problems. "All these years, everything has been working just fine. I've had to turn the knob many times and I've always loved the results. But now I've developed two annoying problems: First, I have these terrible bags under my eyes and the knob won't get rid of them." The doctor looked at her closely and said, "Those aren't bags, those are your breasts." "Well," She said, "I guess there's no point in asking about the goatee."

Mary!! STILL !!!!!!!!!!! willby

Well, corny as it is, here is my favorite joke EVER..... What lives at the bottom of the ocean and makes you an offer you can't refuse? THE CODFATHER!! You hear about his wife? THEY FLOUNDER DEAD....THEY THOUGHT IT WAS JACK THE KIPPER BUT IT TURNS OUT IT WAS THE TUNABOMBER. HE HAD NO MONEY FOR BAIL SO HE HAD TO GO TO A LOAN SHARK. I know, I know........Groan. I read this joke in a jokoe book, and there was an artist's rendering of "THE CODFATHER" which was a picture of a fish (a cod, I presume) sitting in a throne with a 3 piece suit on, lots of gold, and an angry grimace on his face. It was the funniest thing I ever saw.

Carrie, GROAN...............But I have to admit, it did make me laugh. I love corny jokes. The cornier the better! Thanks for sharing!! willby

I don't have a joke, but I once knew this girl that had her pic on the message board. She had donuts for eyes and she always could make someone smile! Marla 335/281/138

Marla, What a nice thing to say! Thank you so much! willby

I am not marlena but hear goes.... a couple got married and about two weeks after the honeymoon. The husband come home from work and the wive had been so busy she forgot to cook supper. So the next night the husband came home and sit down and said I see I am going to have to set some rules here. 1. Supper will be on the table ever night when I get off work. 2. I will play cards when I want and where I want. 3. I will stay out as late as I want and there will be no complaining. 4. I will drink whatever I want And as much as I want. The wife said okay and served him his supper. he said that is better, She says by the way. There will be sex at 7:00 o'clock every night whether your here or not. MEN are just not equipped to handle these kinds of games.