Please Be Kind!

Okay.. I had a very rough emotional moment tonight and I need to share... DH and I went out for dinner tonight. Our fav place, small country diner type place... Great home cooked meals, decent prices, and the best service ever!! Well tonight we sat down in a booth and again was so excited about how much room there was.. I get butterflies in my stomache when I sit in a booth and actually fit with room to spare.. Well there was a SMO lady sitting across from us.. She was stuffed into that booth!! her top roll was partly on the table... You could tell she was uncomfortable... I felt really bad for her- but at the same time I was so sad for myself knowing that not long ago that was me.. Just looking at her made tears come to my eyes.. I remember those days of trying to fit into a booth, squeezing myself in, holding my breathe so my stomache didnt over lap the table.. It brought back so many memories... For a couple years I refused to go eat any place that didnt have tables, I couldnt fit into a booth and I wasnt going to put myself through the misery... After I got my head cleared our food came.. I had an open roast beef sandwich with mashed potato and gravy..(MINUS BREAD).. I ate a little of the potato and a little of the meat.. I realize how lucky I am to have had the surgery and for having done so well.. Please dont think I was being rude by saying anything about the lady I seen tonight.. I am in NO WAY judging her- She just brought up so many memories and made me realize how lucky I am... Hope everyone has a great weekend Amber

I know what you mean. I was picking up lunch for everyone at work yesterday, and while I was waiting for the order a couple came in with a women, a friend of the wifes, I assume. The couple were both very thin, but the friend was SMO. The husband says "Do you want to sit at the booth," and the wife says, "She prefers a table." She was very sensitive about it, I don't know if the husband knew why, but I did. And when they went to the table, she leaned on several chairs (I assume to test for stability) before she chose one. This was a down and dirty rib shack type place, nothing too fancy, and definitely not top-of the line seating arrangements. I remeber doing the same thing. I felt bad as well. Carrie

Amber, I remember only a few months ago, I was on vacation in Maine with my husband and daughter, and we went out to eat. We had waited about twenty minutes to be seated and when they finally called us, the hostess took one look at me and said hold on a minute, and I said why, she said they only had a booth available, and me being the stubborn idiot I am I said I dont mind, I was so embarrassed and hurt at the way she handled it but I wasnt going to let her know, so I sat squeezed into that booth so tight I had marks on my stomach by the time we left. It makes me so sad just to remember that, I cant wait for the days when those things will no longer affect my life. Karyn

Thank you for starting this thread. I guess I thought that I was the only one with this problem! I feel like it's embarassing for my family more than it is me, and I think that's what bothers me the most. The uncomfortable chairs and booths is on my list of 'why i want to have surgery.' Thanks to you all.....

Booths and I have been enemies for a long time. I really look forward to putting that behind me.

Add big bustedness to being SMO and booths have been a big problem for me. Recently a waitress acted like I might not want a booth, but I did because I fit now. When I saw the booths, I understood why. They were extra small. When my smallish husband sat down, he pulled the table toward him as I said, honey I'm fine. A few minutes later he evened the table back up. The booth was so small he needed all his room and I fit just fine. Loris

Amber I can totally relate. On our trip home my parents took us to breakfast (the waffle house, they LOVE it) anyway, the booths in that place are SUPER small and there I sat squeezed in there with no room to move much less eat. I wanted to die of shame and I know we got stares. Now that I know surgery is around the corner it kinda makes it a little easier but I think that is a pain that will never fully go away. I'm sitting here right now typing this in a pair of 28 jeans that aren't stretch and I'm about to lose my oxygen supply!! I just can't believe I CANNOT fit in 28's unless they have spandex, what's worse is me sitting here pretending I can! I hold up my clothes when I'm folding them and I can't believe how big they are it's like it hits me all of a sudden..Yes Jamie you are HUGE! In my head I can make myself seem smaller but then the booth thing happens, or walking out in public, or folding clothes and BAM it hits me like a brick..I am SMO and that's just a fact of life! Well a fact of life until I have my surgery but I think a part of me will always be SMO... I often wonder how I'll treat SMO people after my surgery. Will I tell them about my surgery, just sympathize..I just don't know. Lately I've been lucky enough to run into a few people who are really excited for me and can't wait to see how I do. That is very encouraging.

just wanted to let you know that it will get better and you will love to sit anywere I saw a girl at walmart a few months ago she was big as big as I was or bigger I have seen her before she works their you know what I did i walked up to her and told her I was proud of her at her size I could not walk had to ride around in walmart and she walked around that place all day I told her my story and I told her that there is a way but what she was doing just showed me that at that size or any size to be proud of who I am and what I can do this woman is now a roll modle for me every time I see her now I just give her a big smile if I had not given up to the fat about a year and a half ago I could still be working not on disablty sitting on my butt doing nothing ok now that I have made no sense I will end this keep your chin up you will make it and sit anywere you want to I can sit in any booth now shelley

Jamie- Ohh waffle house!! That place is evil!! They feed you all the yummy greasey fattening foods then make the booths extra small!! Evil I tell ya!! My DH and I used to go there but once I couldnt fit into the booths anymore we stopped.. But I do know that those booths are smaller then normal!! My Dhs grandparents took us there a couple years ago when we had a family get together.. Thankfully there were too many of us to fit into a booth so we opted to sit at the counter... I was never so thankfull either.. It would have been horrible to have to squeeze into a booth with his family and be so uncomfortable!! Even though I know Ill fit now we still dont go there since the food is just too fatty and greasey for me... As for folding clothes.. I kept a few things from before surgery and Ill pull them out to compare them to the size that I need now.. There is a huge difference.. I love it!! Ive had mixed experiences about my surgery.. Some people have been thrilled for me, others act as though I committed murder.... In general most people dont know I had surgery but do notice I lost weight. Im not at all ashamed of what Ive done, I just dont see that its anyones business how Ive lost it.. Ive shared my experience with a SMO friend who was insulted that I would mention it to her- she felt as though I was trying to push the surgery on her.. That was not what I was trying to do at all, I just felt like sharing what I had chosen to do... Amber Ohh yeah.. sorry to hear about having to redo your eval!! Thankfully I didnt have to do that question thing!!

Amber(((((((BIG HUG)))))))) I THOUGHT that was you I saw last night!! I tried to wave....but couldnt move my arms!!! GIRL! I can joke about this because that WAS me. And still is. I check every chair that I sit in. I scope out every restaurant or theater just to make sure I will be able to fit. I have lost some weight....but some places are still a challenge. I can only imagine how freeing it must be to be able to walk anywhere I want and sit anywhere I want without fear. Dennys was always out of my reach. Too small. Mcdonalds?.....for them wanting to make us so fat, you'd think they would put in bigger booths. Garfields? Oh forget about it. And the worst? Lawn furniture. That stuff is built for a stick person. I guess I'm just trying to say (and not very well) that we are all bound together by our experiences, hopes , and dreams. Pre op or post op. Wanting the surgery, cant have the surgery, dont know about the surgery....we are all in this together. Take care GF!Thank you for your touching post. willby