Mean husband!!!

Hi all. Well its official I am married to the worlds most inconsiderate unsupportive man in the universe for almost 8 years. I am pre-op having surgery march 13th I have asked my husband to come to the support group meeting with me tonight he refuses saying he doesn't want to be around a bunch of women. I also asked him to go to the surgeon's office with me on Monday well that's when he true colors were shown. He said he really don't want me to have surgery and that I am vain and selfish for taking a risk . I guess he wants to be a widower at 38. If I don't get this surgery I will get diabetes and every other ailment my parents have and probaly be dead by the time I am 40.He asked if my life insuance was paid up. So is . it wrong to want a little support from him. I have supported him joining the navy 3 years ago I quit my job that I loved,sold the house that I loved and left all my friends.I am doing this for myself to be healthy and also to be able to be the mom my son deserves. Just had to vent. I am off to my support group meeting alone. Jenn

Jenn No, Your not asking too much sweetie. I know how much this must hurt you. We all expect the ones that were married too. To be there to help support us and be there when we really need them. Because we so willingly do it for them. Something to think about tho. Is it that he just doesnt want to support you having the surgery for fear of loseing you?? Or that he is insecure about himself. And afraid that when you lose the weight that you want to you will no longer stay with him?? I know when my DH and I got married my size was never an issuse. Cause my DH is a BBW admirer. In other words he perferes larger women. We have sat down and talked about this surgery. Cause he knows that my size will definaley change. And he had his friends telling him that I would leave him when I lost my weight. I sat with him and explained that first off. Nothing but my love for him. Made me marry him in the first place!! Second altho yes, I am sure I will be flattered at the attetion. In no way would I leave what I have now with someone that wouldnt have a thing to do with me when I was larger. I hope and pray that maybe he is just scared about losing you and not being a s**t with you. And sweetie if I was closer I would be more then happy to go with you to your meetings and appointments. Good luck please set down and talk with him. God Bless Melissa

Jenn, Many men deal with their fears in such an immature manner. It sounds like this is what is happening. Ultimately, this is for you. We will support you. Being healthy is important. Very important. Good luck. Lori

Thanks! Jenn