*Question*

Howdy Fellow Smoers I hope that this question offends no one. But, yesterday I went to my first support group meeting, and I was shocked to see how many people that I would consider just "overweight" wanting to have the surgery. I don't know their personal medical history, but I was wondering. For those of you that started out, or are over 300 pounds how does it make you feel when you see a person who weighs 190 & 204 pounds getting the surgery? Just a question... *smoochies* ~NEVER SURRENDER~ ~T~

I understand your reaction TT. I speak for no one but myself. There are many people like this where I go for support meetings. Granted like you, I don't know their personal medical history. For me personally, their presence offends me. I find it very defeating. I believe this surgery was founded as a last resort for the morbidly and super morbidly obese. It is a life saving surgery. This surgery is dangerous and should not be entered into lightly. Most of us spent years battling our decisions. It isn't about vanity. It isn't about losing 60-70 pounds and being a size 4. It is about saving your life! I truly believe the lighter weight people have no clue what it is like to be SMO. I was 416 when I started this journey. How can relate to someone starting out at 210?! When I went for my 6 week post op visit, I ran into one in the lobby who was there for her 2 week post op visit. If I looked like this woman, there is no way I would have put myself through this. She is barely 200 pounds, if that. I will be lucky to be her size when I am done my journey. If I hadn't had to fight tooth and nail for this procedure, then maybe I wouldn't feel so bitter towards them. I have watched too many people go from consult to surgery in 2-3 months, who barely meet the minimum requirements. It disgusts me. Maybe there will be a time when I won't feel so bitter about them. For now, I need to keep my distance from them so I can focus on me. My comments are not meant to anger or offend anyone. They are my thoughts and feelings, that is all. Huggs, Ruth

i agree with you and ruth! But they may need it.... but it is kinda like why are you taking a spot being your weight.... aways from someone 300++ lbs you know! there were alot of people i would consider skinny at my meetings and doctor classes

Just My Opinion......it shouldnt matter what they weigh. EVERYONE must meet certain criteria(i.e., co-morbitities, certain BMI, etc...) So if someone weighs 200 pounds I would assume they are looking into surgery because they meet at least one of these. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, and I respect that, but why does someone that is 500 pounds deserve to be healthy and happy more than someone that is 200 pounds? Again, just my opinion. I was barely over 300 pounds when i started looking into WLS and weighed 279 day of surgery, however I had a few co-morbitities and my BMI was over 50. When I went to support groups I definitely felt a little uncomfortable because I was always one of the smaller ones, but I met all criteria for having this surgery and I needed it just as much as everyone else sitting there. I remember when I was in high school telling myself if I ever weighed over 200 I would die, then 10 years later saying if I ever weighed over 300 I would die.....and so on. Well, I wasnt about to wait another 100 pounds before I realized I really was going to die. WLS is a very difficult decision no matter what you weigh, and we should all be supporting each other, not judging each other. Karyn

Huggs, Ruth

Hi T, I got a post pulled once because I did a vent about a light-weighter's comments, so I'll just say it "bothers me" and leave it at that. As Karyn said, everyone's entitled that qualifies. But I tend to agree with Sandra about insurance companies becoming difficult about paying because of the "rush to surgery" by those who don't have as much to lose or as much at stake healthwise as SMOs do. It makes it so much harder for those like us to get insurance payment. It's nettling to me to hear from those who're only doing it for cosmetic reasons, when most SMOs are trying to save health and lives, but there's the truth of it. I'll shut up now. I'd like to have this post not get pulled. everyone Myra

T, I also notice sometimes in the surgeon's office, women who I assume have alaready have the surgery and then I find out they are there for pre-op consult. However, obviously they meet guidelines or they would not be getting surgery. And who is to say that 50 or 100 pounds is not as distressing to them as 200 pounds was to me? I did not have any health problems at all, my blood pressure, cholesterol, heart, etc., were all perfect, I ran up and down stairs every day, and had an active life with my kids, so my motivations for surgery were strictly vanity related. However, I read the profile of some women with much less weight to lose, who suffer from high cholesterol, sleep apnea, high blood pressure, etc., so who is to say who was more deserving of surgery? My mother qualified for surgery at a weight of 145 pounds. She is 5' tall. She is 52, and the doctor put her ideal weight at 90 pounds. Ultimately, she decided against it, because, in her word, "I'm old. Eating is the only fun thing left in my life." My aunt also had lap band surgery. She is about 5'2" and weighed about 165. She is now 115, and the doctor says she could still lose another 15. That is a significant loss. She has lost 1/3 of her body weight. Maybe people who have less to lose see the road they are headed down, and feel powerless to control their weight, and are trying to stop the problem before it gets completely out of control. There are lots of reasons for surgery, and I don't think being heavier makes someone more deserving. I think that the fact of the matter is that we are all overweight and have been unable to control our weight, we all have issues in our lives that have caused the weight gain, and we have all decided that surgery is the best option. we all have the same goal, and I think we should try and be more tolerant. All this being said, it annoys me as well, but I just try and keep it in perspective. Sometimes I see these pre-op women with less than 100 pounds to lose, and I think to myself, "Gee, if I looked like that I would probably be working as a stripper and walking around half naked every day," but, clearly, they don't see themselves the same way. I tell you, I will be thrilled when I can buy a pair of Apple Bottoms or Sean Johns off the rack, no matter what size that is! Good luck to you! Carrie

When my friend had WLS at 5'2" I was the same height and weight. When she weighed 145 and was at goal, I weighed 344. I wish we had been surgery sisters. I am stalled at 226 and wonder why I am not motivated to get back to basics to get my weight loss moving again. What am I afraid of? Anyway, she had tried everything to lose weight, had wrecked her metabolism and didn't want to grow old obese. I think if a person with a BMI of 40 has co-morbidities and has exhausted their other options more power to them for having WLS. Why should they have to hit bottom like I did? Many hugs, Loris