Started Zyban Today.

Hi Everybody!! I tried quittinng smoking for a the hundreth time this past Sunday, and it was like a nightmare all week long. Aside from my FEARS, this smoking thing has been the biggest obstacle for me. I know that I need to quit, so that the possibility of a new life is a reality for me, and I do want to quit, but I get so depressed and stressed out when I try that I just fail every time. People in my life have been angry with me about this and have said things that have hurt a lot because they really are not the truth. I have been told that I am not willing to make the changes necessary to change my life for the better because it is just too easy to have everyone else take care of me. I have been told that I am selfish and don't care about the impact my obesity and related problems has on my loved ones. It hurts to hear those things, and I have to say that I truly do not think it is easier to be imobile and prevented from participating in life because I am too big to move around on my own. The last thing I ever wanted in this life was to have to have someone else wipe my bum. I do not prefer to be fat and have everyone take care of me. That is just not true at all. Today I went to the doctor and got some Zyban. Despite the fact that I am very afraid to have the surgery, and despite the fact that I have not been successful at quitting smoking so far, I am going to make this work somehow. I will take the Zyban for seven days to build it up in my system, and I will throw the smokes away on the 20th. With the help of the medication, I plan to beat it this time. I cannot wait to be on the losing side and gaining more control in my own life. If I were not so dependant on others, I would never let people talk to me the way they have since I decided to embark on this journey toward surgery. It seems like when I decided to do something about my weight, people thought it was fair game to start saying how they have really felt about me all along. I tell ya, it has hurt like the devil. I never want to be in this position again, and I am going to gather my courage and do this. I just wanted to share how I am feeling and where I am on this journey. This place and all of you are a real blessing in a most difficult time. This journey is very very stressful, but I know that nothing worth having is ever easy. I have to keep reminding myself of that, but you all being here with me on this road make it so much more bearable. Thanks everyone, and take gentle care. P.S.- if anyone has any experience will Zyban, Wellbutrin, or Bupropian, I would love to know anything you have to share.- Shelley C

Shelley, Omgoodness smoking much like eating is not a willpower thing and it's not your fault! I've been told by more than one person that quitting is extremely difficult and to have to give up two things that comfort(food and cigs) you is probably the most difficult thing you'll ever do. I don't smoke but my parents do and I've begged and begged them to quit. My mom explained to me how powerful the urge is to smoke and I think I finally understand. I think it's alot like being addicted to drugs or food or whatever. Don't let them get you down! I know words Do hurt and they hurt even more when they come from someone who loves you. I wish I could reach out and give you a great big hug and tell you we are all here for you!! Try to stay positive and just think how much happier you'll be when you don't have to depend on anyone!~~ Then you can tell them all to go take a flying leap!! Take it one day at a time and remember if you ever need to chat I'm always here! {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{GREAT BIG HUGS}}}}}}}} Jamie

Wow- thanks for the positive message, Jamie. I wasn't really sure how everyone would receive my post. The anger I feel is evident in it, so I thought it might make people mad at me, which is really the last thing I need right now, LOL. Preparing emotionally and physically for this surgery really is the biggest thing I have ever done in my life. My brother seemed to have such an easy time of it, but I am beginning to understand that I may have just perceived it that way. Guys are less likely to talk about how freaked out they are about things, so I didn't really think he was. He seemed to sail through it all, so I assumed I would, too. NOT, LOL. I have really struggled with fear through this whole process, but I think it is finally coming to the point where I know I am going to do it despite the fears. That feels good in a way because I don't have to go through the whole decision process again and again each new day. Thank you so much for your positive feedback. I really needed it. Take gentle care.- Shelley C

I smoke too , but I plan on quiting . I know how hard it is. It is an addiction. You can do it! Dont be to hard on yourself if you fail once or twice.Just keep on tring! When my family start in on me about my smoking it just makes me want to smoke even more . Does that happen to you ?

OMG, Cathy, you are so right. When I get pressured a lot from those around me about the smoking, I feel more stressed out and feel like smoking a pack at a time, LOL. I know people mean well, and my family is just so worried about me that they think they can force me to quit because it should make sense to me to just do it...., but it is not as easy as all that. Smoking is hell on my body, and I wish I had never started, but now that I'm here with it, stopping is going to be a process. I really tried all last week to quit cold turkey, but after nearly a week without a smoke, I did not feel better at all, I felt like my whole world was upside down. I cried so much that the skin under my eyes and on my cheeks peeled off, LOL. I feel much better now knowing the medication will help me not to feel so awful through it. Good luck to you when you quit. It is so hard, but I know it is so very worth it to do this. Take gentle care.- Shelley C

Shelley, Good luck in quitting smoking! I am so glad I did not have to. As pathetic as it sounds, I really enjoy smoking and it helps me deal with stress. I also use cigarettes as a reward (i.e. I am going to have a cigarette and a cup of coffee as soon as the kitchen is clean). I don't envy you! But I truly wish you the best! Carrie

Hi Carrie, I know it sounds bad, but I wish I had your surgeon and did not have to quit, LOL. I have to lose thirty pounds and be nicotine free for 60 days before my surgeon will schedule surgery, so I can't eat, I can't smoke, and I feel a little overwhelmed with it all. The hardest part is that I only have a six month approval window from my insurance, so I have to get this crap under control soon because I must have the surgery by May 16, or lose the approval. The approval process here in Ontario is shakey at the moment because the insurer is trying to delist WLS right now, so I do not want to lose my approval and risk not being able to get it again. I know I can do this, but it is just very difficult. Thanks for your good wishes, and take gentle care.- Shelley C

Zyban is great! It will reduce your appetite for food and cigarettes. Take it as long as you need it. If you aren't ready to put down the ciggs after a week you will be soon after. Refuse to listen to the negative junk from people. You know what is right for you. Many hugs, Loris

Hi Loris, I am so glad to hear some good news about Zyban. I could surely use an appetite suppressant as well this is an extra bit of good news, LOL. I wonder what it is about this drug that makes people not want to smoke. It must work on the receptors or something. I cannot wait to be free from the desire to smoke. That will just make this whole journey so much easier. Thanks so much, and take gentle care.- Shelley C