"In the beginning ... "
I saw saw this on a profile last night and it gave me a laugh so I thought it was worth sharing ...
In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
Then using God's great gifts, the devil created Ben and Jerry's and
Krispy Creme Donuts. And the devil said, "You want chocolate with that?" And Man said "Yea," and woman said, "and another one with sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds.
And God created the healthful yogurt that man and woman might keep the figure that each found so fair in the other.
And the devil brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the cane and combined them. And woman went from size 6 to size 14.
So God said, "Try my fresh green salad."
And the devil presented Thousand-Island Dressing and garlic toast on the side. And man and woman unfastened their belts following the repast.
God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them."
And the devil brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.
God then brought running shoes so that his children might loose those extra pounds.
And the devil gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And man and woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and gained pounds.
Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition.
And the devil peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And man gained pounds.
God then gave lean meats so that man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.
And the devil created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that?" And man replied, "Yea! And super size 'em." And the devil said "It is good." And man went into cardiac arrest.
God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
Then the devil created HMOs.