HELP!! I need some input!

This has nothing to do with weight or WLS, but Im in need of some advice/opinions from people! Please help me out here. My DH is in the Navy. We are up for orders. Sounds great right? Well.. we are trying to decide if we should stay within the country or go overseas. Our options for overseas are Naples, Italy or Okinawa, Japan.... Im lost and confused! Actually I have the start of a migraine thinking about all this.. There are pros and cons to both places. My first reaction was Italy?? ohh yeah!! but then when the excitement wore off I realized many things. For one there is a HUGE "redlight/drug district" that is very close to where we would be stationed. and the crime rate is quite high.. Do I really want to live that close that?? Plus the food- My weakness before surgery was pasta/bread... Do I really want to drop myself into that mess and hope I can control myself?? Plus there is the hygiene issue.. While not everyone there is stinky their culture is much different then ours.. Then we have Japan.. I have many mixed feelings about it. I know the crime rate is very low, the community is basically all military, housing is plentiful, and there is decent medical care right there. Plus it is the main flight hub so if its something that cant be handled there its easy to catch a flight back to the states. And since it is the main flight hub, we could easily and for very little money take hops all over and do some traveling.. Help.. whats your opinion?? Should we stay stateside or should we go overseas?? Im looking for any and every opinion that I can get. Thanks so much Amber

To me it sounds like Japan is the better choice, you did not mention any bad stuff about it.... Either way - sounds like great fun, new cultures, new people, new everything, other than the stinky drug stuff. much love - good luck - Jeremy

Jeremy, There are down sides to Japan! I want out of the base Im at now cause Im sick of the big city, tired of crowds, and the traffic makes me want to commit many felonies! And the area of Japan we would be going to is full of people, small space with many people, and Im terrified of public transportation! I cant even take a bus here without a panic attack! So there are some down sides! Thanks for the input! Amber

Japan,I love their culture. Wish you luck. Rosie

Hi Amber, I'm an Army spouse and I was so hoping I'd never have to make this decision. I did...I'm in Hawaii. We bought a house I lived in for 3 months before we got orders here. HUGE, HUGE culture shock. Everyone assumes Hawaii is just like the states..IT'S NOT!! People here consider this a total and separate part of the US if even that! I am so far away from my parents that for the first year (I'm am dead serious!) I had dreams almost every night of trying to escape this island... I had dreams about being on boats or running to the airport to sneak on a plane...ooo it was horrible! I gained TONS TONS of weight in the first year we were here. I think people assume that we are so lucky to get to travel to all these distant places and see all these new things but how many people are willing to drop EVERYTHING and pick up their family all of their belongings and relocate every few years? You have to leave everything you know, your comfort zone is shot...it's a hard thing to do and not always as romantic as it seems. We've had good bases and bad and currently I was just informed by the CID investigator (my neighbors car was broken into and our cars are right out our front doors literally) she said we live in the worst neighborhood (village) on this entire post. Look at me rambling on and not answering your question. I just wanted to give some insight into military life to those who aren't military. Do you want to move overseas? There is a HUGE Japanese culture here in Hawaii and it's pretty intersting for the most part but like I said HUGE culture change. I guess I would ask myself will I be okay for deployments? Do you make friends easily? I'm pretty shy so it takes me awhile and it can get really lonely far from home. You did say you could take hops home though. I've never been on one but my neighbors took one home to Texas and said it was okay. Of course the second time they got all packed dragged the 3 kids up there and there was no room for them. I do hear that Italy is gorgeous, my friends son was born there and they still go back and visit every now and then. Again I guess HUGE culture shock. On the one hand you can throw caution to the wind and say okay it's a new experience I'll give it a whirl or say Nah I'm not quite ready to venture that far off yet?! Whatever you decide I wish you all the best and please keep us updated. I know moves are VERY stressful! You have to think about things like how big is my car (European streets are WAY smaller than American streets and some people are forced to give up their Suv's and things), what do I need to do to prepare my animals and my family for this move (ie school records, medical records, shots or anything you might need), what will we take with us and what will be leave behind...movers are a ***** sometimes they manage to get your things there in one piece and sometimes your things wind up in pieces!, do you have to get a European drivers license?, will you be able to find work on the base if you want to?, what is the housing like? Will housing be available? When we moved here we had to live in a hotel for a month with three children and we ended up having to scout out a place because housing wasn't available. We nearly went broke trying to pay for it and our boys ended up switching schools three times in one year. Not to mention there's no pre-k here so my youngest son went to pre-k for half the year back in the states and then had to sit and wait for K to start before he could go back. hmmm maybe I should privately email you..this is getting long.. You can always email me anytime if you want to chat. {{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}} Jamie Ps GOOD Luck with whatever you decide!

Jamie, You are exactly who I was looking for here!! I was hoping that you had done the overseas thing. Well I guess you have in ways.... We also had the option to go to Hawaii, but I wont even consider it!! I will email you later.. Im sure you can understand many of my fears better then most since you have been and still are in the same position. The only good thing is that we have SHORE DUTY!! 3 years with no deployments! At the most he would do the little 2 week trips once in awhile.. So I can handle that part.. Now if were sea duty I wouldnt leave the country!! NO!! I cant imagine being stuck overseas for 9-12 months alone while he was gone.. NOPE!! Thanks for the reply and Ill email you in a couple hours.. Amber

You didn't offend me and I should have been more diplomatic in my post to her. What I was really getting at in my opening was she needed to compare apples to apples. I can relate to a lot of what you are saying actually. My husband and I have moved around since we married and I really didn't like one place we lived. Sorry I was impolite. Hugs, Loris

If I had a choice between Naples and Okinawa, I'd choose Okinawa. Okinawa is different from other parts of Japan, the weather is warmer and you get nice ocean breezes. If you or your spouse like doing things such as fishing or scuba diving, Okinawa is the place to go. However, island living isn't for everyone. When I lived in Hawaii, I had island fever the first three months because there wasn't an easy way to go anywhere else! I felt trapped. I got over it, though, and ended up loving Hawaii so much that I hope to live there again someday. I have heard that Naples isn't the nicest part of Italy, but I can't say for certain. Too bad you can't go to Northern Italy! Anyway, I'm jealous. I'd love to go to Okinawa. If you have an opportunity to take an overseas assignment, you ought to give it a try. Kix

You need to talk to other Navy wives that have been to that part of Japan, not someone who is unhappy in Hawaii. That said, you said a lot of good things about the Japan assignment including no ship duty for your DH. Plentiful housing, good medical and a strong military community. It sounds like a wonderful assignment and a good place to immerse yourself in military life and local culture. The part about having my hubby home all the time in a nice enviroment which clinch the deal for me. (I was raised a military brat.) You also need to think about what is best for your marriage and your husband's career. Good luck. Loris

Loris I sure didn't mean to offend anyone I was giving her MY experience. She and I have A LOT of the same fears and I thought I was being kind by letting her know what it was really like not glossing it over with "all you'll love it there because they have this and this and this"..not everyone enjoys the same activities. I'm not spending two weeks lounging on the beaches and traveling to all the touristy parts I'm here for the long haul and I get to see things and places the tourists buses don't travel to. It is totally her decision and I am only giving my opinion just like everyone else. I've been very happy on other bases but I'm very close to my parents and being here is really hard. My husband hasn't had to deploy since we've been here and that has been Wonderful considering the base we just came from he was gone all the time. Whatever she chooses I hope she's really happy and enjoys her time there. Jamie