Old friend and my closet!

An old dear friend of mine is in town for a visit! She surprised me yesterday! I havent seen her in 2 years so she was quite shocked when she seen how much smaller I am now!! She was happy for me, but at the same time she made a couple comments that really bothered me.. First off she said that she hoped that just cause Im getting thin that I dont become a bi*ch... Hello?? My weight is changing, not my manners or WHO I am!! That kind of upset me.. Then she went on to say that I should stop losing weight now or Ill be too thin.. again- HELLO?? Im still 200lbs!! The whole goal of surgery was to get to a healthy weight, not just stop when I lost enough to feel better.. Maybe Im just over sensitive about the whole weight thing... I just dont understand why people cant just be happy that Im finally able to lose weight and get myself healthy!! Anyways.. While she is here I decided to go through my closet and get rid of anything that is too big for me.. Well.. I found this box in the back of my closet FULL of clothes!! The clothes all still had TAGS on them! It was stuff I bought while I was fighting for approval so I had things to shrink into.. Needless to say the fight lasted so long I forgot all about them and never got to use any of them!! Good thing I got everything in that box on clearance so I didnt spend too much money.. But looking through it all I found so many cute outfits that would have been great.. Ohh well.. The only good thing about it is that my friend offered to give me 50.00 for the box of clothes!! So atleast I got about 1/2 of my money out of the clothes! I also went through all my sandels from last year.. ( I have a huge shoe fetish if you didnt know) I found that I cant wear a single pair of my shoes from last year. They are all too big!! I went from needing a 8.5W down to a 7W.. So now I have 10 pairs of sandels that my friend can now have too!! I sure hope you all are more organized then I am!! If not, CLEAN YOUR CLOSET!! I was shocked at what I found hidden in the back!! Amber

Closet? Clean it? You mean actually take all that stuff that's holding up the walls OUT?!? But ... but ... it's worked so hard to get that beautiful layer of dust on it ... and all those cobbywebs(!) ... oh no no no ... I couldn't possibly do that! I've got this lonnnnnnnnnnnng closet in my room, the width of the room, and yet I have all my "active" stuff clustered down on one end of it and I never open the other door! There's stuff on the shelves that hasn't seen daylight in so many years it would burst into flames if I took it into the sunshine!! My WEDDING dress is hanging back in the back ... and I was married in 1970!! (size 11 - sigh!) so that will tell you as much as you need to know about old stuff in there. All joking aside, it's funny you mentioned closets, because I've been looking at mine and thinking ... I neeeeeeeed to clean that sucker out ... and then I think ... tomorrow, yeah ... I do it tomorrow! At this rate, it will be fall before I get it done! (((laughing here .. thanks for that))) Myra

Oh ... and that friend(?) ... sounds like a bit of envy might have been behind her comments to you. Sadly, that's a human thing. So far I've had "friends" who have told me: "You're looking much OLDER since you had this surgery and lost the weight" "You took the EASY way out" "I thought you'd have lost more weight by now" "Too bad it's (the weight) isn't coming off your butt better" (Oh yeah, I loved that one) I've been surprised at what people feel free enough to say ... but I've just fallen back on old habits and tried to ignore it. ((hugs again))) Myra

Myra, CLEAN YOUR CLOSET!! Do it before you forget about it again! I can totally relate to keeping all your active stuff at one end! I have a huge walk in closet, One side is my everyday stuff, the other side is my dress stuff, shoes, & purses and the back is coats and "storage"... I never touched the stuff in the back.. My poor DH has to use the closet in the spare bedroom for his clothes!! When you clean your closet make sure to let me know what strange, scary and exciting things you find! The only scary thing I found in the back was BIG DUST GORILLAS! They are no longer bunnies when they get that big!!! Amber

Maybe it's jealousy and maybe it's fear that you will become "too good" for her. I mean that maybe she thinks that other thin people think that they are "better" than overweight people and that if you get too thin she will lose you. Am I making any sense? That she is insecure around thin people or has been put down by thin people real or percieved. Since you are such a sweetie when she sees tht this won't happen everything will be fine. Loris

Amber, I've been doing the closet cleaning thing all along through this process. I can't believe how short a time clothes fit me! I've always had tons of clothes and shoes, I'm replacing all I've given away with super cheap clearance stuff until I reach a weight I stabilize at. Sometimes friends and family say the dumbest things. I don't think they mean any harm. It is just that they don't know what to say. So, they say stupid stuff. My secretary asked me before I had the surgery, "Are you going to be a bi*ch when you get skinny?" I said, "If I am, remind me that you remember me when you had to buy 2 airplane seats for me!" We love you Amber, we understand, not every one can. Lori

Amber I agree with what the others have said...jealousy. I haven't even had my surgery and everyone in my family keeps saying I wonder what you'll be like after surgery. I am dying to say this is Gastric Bypass NOT a Lobotomy!! I really think that we fit into our family structure and friends lives in a certain way. We've always been the big one, the one who needs to lose a few, the one who has emotional baggage, we've been the one everyone stared at in public and NOW we're not that anymore and everyone is out of their comfort zone. I don't think I'm explaining this right..I can't find the words I want. Basically we've been the third wheels, the chunky friend watching someone else shop..now we're confident, secure and happy and some people find that hard to accept. I am saying we and I really mean you guys but do you get my drift?? Competition..! As for the closet and the clothes I got rid of all my sizes (except the ones that fit) last year. I got so sick of looking through clothes that I didn't think would ever fit. I think I am a rarity..my husbands clothes take up our WHOLE closet and I have a small little section. I have one drawer in my dresser with clothes and most have bleach stains or holes and I use them for sleeping and cleaning. Currently I have 2 pair of jeans, 3 shirts, and one pair of shorts that I wear out in public. I have one pair of tennis shoes, one pair of slip on Eastlands that I LOVE, and one pair of sandals. Now my hubby thinks I have too many shoes...OMG wait til I have surgery I told him I'm trading my food addiction for shopping..!!! Take care guys.. Hugs, Jamie

hi amber. that's some friend you've got there. i agree with previous posts that sometimes people just don't know what to say. and there's also at least a little jealousy in there, too. if she's a really good friend you should tell her how you felt so you can get past it. i was astounded at my closet, too. my sizes went from 30/32 down to a 20/22. talk about denial. but once i lost my first 100 pounds i went through and got rid of everything i had that was bigger than 28 as well as all that i didn't want to wear anymore. at that point my clothes actually needed a hanger to stay up, before that it was all crushed in. then, i wore the same size 28 jeans for several months, even though i was losing weight the damn things still fit. in the meantime i didn't even try the 26 or 24 which i had waiting in the wings. by the time i finally tried another size, the 26 were too big and so were half the 24's. lol. anyway, my point is to not rely only on the size label. the manufacturers sizes are not standardized at all. you may be pleasantly surprised. take care amber. happy hunting. dorthe