totally embarassed to ask this (warning-a little gross)

Nothing to be embarassed about. I know this problem all too well. I have 'been there, done that', and I am sure many others here have too. Wooden spoons have already been mentioned. I would like to add that tongs work great too. A very useful tool both preop and as a post op when you are too sore to twist much! Huggs, Ruth

Totally relate! I was there...I had open RNY and did fine with bowel movements because after surgery I didn't have them very often. I think every few days vs the everyday thing I do now. I did not want to do tongs but I did a back scratcher end to help wipe the area. Gosh I can't believe I survived so long doing that. Its nice now to be able to wipe without the back getting messed up as well as the toilet seat slipping and sliding. Good luck with your surgery. Debbie

Hey Joanne! Good luck with your surgery on June 29th! Your post was definitely not gross. Some of us have asked worse questions!! *smile* I agree with everyone. I had to use a wooden spoon wrapped in toilet paper. The hospital had this metal device that I could use, but I forgot to get it before I left the hospital. I had to resort to using the wooden spoon wrapped up. You know, it worked for me! Worked like a charm! In no time at all I was able to wipe again. Good luck to you, Joanne. This will be the best thing you've ever done for yourself! Jen Halliday

Thank you everyone!! WOW -- I never thought I'd get quite as big a response as this!! Thank you so much for all the help!! I really don't even know what made me think of the problem -- but so glad there are all you folks out there to help and offer advice and tips!! And -- nice to know that I"m not the only one who has had the problem!! Thank you so very very much!! HUGS to you all!!

Dont be embarrassed, you are not alone, I had the same problem, thank goodness for my partner. She took care of this "issue" for me after surgery and until just about a month ago when I discovered I could do it myself again. Do you have a partner/spouse/gf/bf/parent that could do this for you? It takes a VERY CLOSE person to do this for you, at least it did for me. I could of had my gramma do it but that just seemed odd to me. I hope it all works out for you. Take care - Jeremy

JoAnne, The *BEST* thing I did for myself at 442 lbs was to buy myself a *personal* extender. Believe it or not, I bought it from Amazon ... in the personal care section. Because of the weight and my bad back, it had become so necessary. Try this link for the one I bought ... it worked very well. It was also handy just after surgery. http://www.dynamic-living.com/self-wipe.htm All the best. MJ

Thank you for this informaiton. This is a very real, very personal and very embarrasing issue for me now (at 421 pounds). Right now I have to take my bra off and really contourt my body and try to clean myself if i'm in public. At home I do the best I can and then hop in the shower. I'm ordering this tool first thing in the morning (payday). God I really love this site!! Lurnia