Bless This Mess!!! Its Almost Over........
HELLO SMOS
,
OH what have I gotten myself into now? Its Monday and the next thing I know its Friday. Now that I'm a full time employee(!!!!!?????) time gets away from me. It doesnt mean I havent become an official Lurker
though.
Stacy had her last chemo treatment yesterday
. Now she starts the 7 weeks of radiation. Whatever it takes, you know............she's only 33.
I'm losing the battle of the donuts. If you can believe this (and I hope I 'm not the only one) I have found a way to cheat even with gastric bypass surgery. I guess once an addict always an addict. I am back to grazing. YES! Just like a cow! I've read that this is a BIG problem for some post oppers. I cant eat a lot at one sitting, but I can eat a million little things. DONT FEEL SORRY FOR ME!!!! PLEASE!!!! I'm starting to accept the fact that I may never be a small person and its a LOT easier to stay in a rut than to face the unknown and be scared. I've lost 80 pounds and cant really get my big old self motivated to lose the next 5 let alone another 80. I purposely havent posted because I'm deeply ashamed and feel that I have let everyone down.When I read of other peoples great success I'm so happy for them.........but I somehow manage to turn it around and beat myself up. PLEASE!!!!! I AM NOT looking for sympathy. I'm just telling it how it is. I know what I have to do to be a success and I seem to be chooosing not to do it. I feel real guilty and I feel like I'm the only one in the whole world that has reverted to her dirty little eating secret. But.......I AM choosing to do this..........however twisted and sick that might seem. I know everyone that answers will mean well........and tell me things that I already know on how to fix this. PLEASE............PLEASE..........just accept me and my behavior as I am. Maybe one day I'll get this whole food/love/hate/guilt thing worked out in my mind.
WOW!!! Now if that isnt enough to make you pray for death I dont know what is. This has always been the one place I can come to and not be judged(most of the time).And I thank you all for letting me do it!
Thanks to all who have emailed me and wondered about me. Now that I've gotten this off my chest (yeah, my sagging tube sock with an orange in it chest) I feel better.
Hope everyone is having a glorious Spring.......we sure deserve it!
willby
and
,
OH what have I gotten myself into now? Its Monday and the next thing I know its Friday. Now that I'm a full time employee(!!!!!?????) time gets away from me. It doesnt mean I havent become an official Lurkerthough.
Stacy had her last chemo treatment yesterday. Now she starts the 7 weeks of radiation. Whatever it takes, you know............she's only 33.
I'm losing the battle of the donuts. If you can believe this (and I hope I 'm not the only one) I have found a way to cheat even with gastric bypass surgery. I guess once an addict always an addict. I am back to grazing. YES! Just like a cow! I've read that this is a BIG problem for some post oppers. I cant eat a lot at one sitting, but I can eat a million little things. DONT FEEL SORRY FOR ME!!!! PLEASE!!!! I'm starting to accept the fact that I may never be a small person and its a LOT easier to stay in a rut than to face the unknown and be scared. I've lost 80 pounds and cant really get my big old self motivated to lose the next 5 let alone another 80. I purposely havent posted because I'm deeply ashamed and feel that I have let everyone down.When I read of other peoples great success I'm so happy for them.........but I somehow manage to turn it around and beat myself up. PLEASE!!!!! I AM NOT looking for sympathy. I'm just telling it how it is. I know what I have to do to be a success and I seem to be chooosing not to do it. I feel real guilty and I feel like I'm the only one in the whole world that has reverted to her dirty little eating secret. But.......I AM choosing to do this..........however twisted and sick that might seem. I know everyone that answers will mean well........and tell me things that I already know on how to fix this. PLEASE............PLEASE..........just accept me and my behavior as I am. Maybe one day I'll get this whole food/love/hate/guilt thing worked out in my mind.
WOW!!! Now if that isnt enough to make you pray for death I dont know what is. This has always been the one place I can come to and not be judged(most of the time).And I thank you all for letting me do it!
Thanks to all who have emailed me and wondered about me. Now that I've gotten this off my chest (yeah, my sagging tube sock with an orange in it chest) I feel better.
Hope everyone is having a glorious Spring.......we sure deserve it!
willbyand 
Willby,
Good Morning Sunshine! Boy you sure had a few things to say this morning.. Hope it makes you feel a little better...
I personally am not going to say anything about your choices, your failures, your misery, etc.. You do what you feel is best for you.. If or when the time comes that you need some support, encouragement, advice, or just kicked in the butt- Im here!! You can count on me to give you whatever you need... But since you asked so nicely I will respect your wishes.. I do accept you for you.. Im not here to change you in any way... you are and always be YOU!!
Glad to see you this morning! Ive missed your jokes, smiles, and goofy morning chatter!!
Much Love.
Amber
P.S. I guess if you dont lose another pound, Ill just have to move to a house with bigger trees for you to hide behind huh?? 
Amber
P.S. I guess if you dont lose another pound, Ill just have to move to a house with bigger trees for you to hide behind huh?? 
Willby, I have also become quite the lurker these days, not for any other reason than most of the time i am just to busy to sit and type a message! I think most of us will agree that we love you because you have been so supportive and loving towards all of us, and we want the same for you. I personally have always accepted YOU for YOU and don't feel that in any way you have impacted me negatively. I agree with Amber, you do what feels right for you, and always know that we are here to support you or kick you in the butt when you are ready for it! Keep in touch though, we still care!
Karyn
Karyn 
Well ...
(stepping on soapbox)
Ahem ... (cough)(cough) ... mimimimimimim ..... lalalalalalalala.......
(stepping off soapbox)
WhatEVER works for you, WillbySweetCakes ... no judgement here, only support when you want it. Oh yeah ... and that "kick in the pants" thingie too, if you want. 
Seriously, good friend, we all find our way through in our own "ways" ... I'm here because I found the support I needed, and I want to give it back however someone needs it. From the first time you posted here, I've known you were "one in a million" ... a true "oner" ... mold tossed out, etc. I wouldn't want to change one little auburn hair on that beautiful head of yours. Whatever, whenever ... just let me know and I'm here. 
And ... WOW ... you've got oranges in your tube socks??!? Golfballs in tube socks here, definitely looking like that old "Playboy Granny" cartoon (only those "of an age" might remember). 
((((HUGS)))))
Myra
Seriously, good friend, we all find our way through in our own "ways" ... I'm here because I found the support I needed, and I want to give it back however someone needs it. From the first time you posted here, I've known you were "one in a million" ... a true "oner" ... mold tossed out, etc. I wouldn't want to change one little auburn hair on that beautiful head of yours. Whatever, whenever ... just let me know and I'm here.
And ... WOW ... you've got oranges in your tube socks??!? Golfballs in tube socks here, definitely looking like that old "Playboy Granny" cartoon (only those "of an age" might remember).
((((HUGS)))))
Myra 
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