Ohhhhh those food demons!!!

Hi-ho Everybody, I'm 4 1/2 months out now and am really struggling with those food demons..demons..not always involving food either. Let me try to explain,...ladies, you know what I mean....that week that happens usually one time a month. You feel so bloated and emotional. This past few days I've had to tell myself that I truly had nothing to be depressed about. I had the surgery that I have wanted and fought for for so long. I have a very supportive family who loves me no matter what size I am...then I look at that scale and I pray for it to move...nope, I guess I'm gonna hold on to some of this water-weight for awhile longer. Why do I let my scale determine my self-esteem??? I swore that I wasn't gonna be that kind of postie. It's not about the scale...it's about how your clothes feel on your bod. It's not about a race with anybody(I never could win a race) Still thoughts just creep in my mind that I'll never make it to goal..I'll be the one person that this surgery won't work for. It's just the self dout that I think everybody feels at one point or another. I am proud of myself for one very simple accomplishment last night. I had to go to the grocery store for 1 particular item. The store was out of it. I proceded to wander the store with my cart, as I usually do, throwing things into the cart as I go. I pondered as I passed the ice cream asle...the bread asle..the chip asle and realized that although they were calling out "buy me - buy me" I had the "power" to NOT go there. Because I buy the food that comes into our home..and if it is there..I will eat it. I put everything back, and walked out of there with nothing. I had to laugh when both my boys(hubby and 16 year old) questioned why I didn't buy anything. I told them I just couldn't do it..that we have food here to eat already..there were things I "wanted" but I didn't "need" them. My emotions are still all over the place. I still cry at the sappy commercials on T.V. but I can't let those food demons win!!! Now, get me my straight-jacket ..I'm ready for it now I should had titled this.."Thoughts from the looney-bin" If anybody else out there in SMO-land has a similar experience..please share!! Hugs...tears...and smiles Ginger

Good morning I feel what you are talking about 100 %. Isnt it kinda of funny going to the grocery store these days? I too was shopping the other day just kinda gazing at all the stuff I use to eat.The chips and cookies, breads etc. And the funny thing is my mind mentally still wants that stuff that put me in the situation that I was in. I now know (from self testing my pouch) that I can no longer tolerate those things.I'm not sure when and if these little head demong so away . So Ms Ginger you are definately not by any means. I believe we all go through this at some point or another. Kwheen

Hey Kwheen, Thanks so much for responding to my post. I was beginning to think I was the only one that felt at certain points along this journey. Everybody has issues..and like you said...why put those things in your cart that put you needing this surgery in the first place! Here's to healthy eating By the way...that's a protein drink! Hugs Ginger

Girl, grab me a matching straight-jacket will ya! I am right there with ya Twinnie! Seems we keep having similiar experiences post op as we did pre-op. That's why we be twins. The food demons can be fierce. I have got to learn to not use food as a weapon or as a reward, both hurtful to me. No matter the emotion, it is hard to keep away from food. One day last week I was furious at someone at work and I immediately ran to food. It was ok food (protein - 2oz turkey and a cheese stick), but food just the same. I was so mad at myself after I realized what I had done! As Kween said, some have/had to be self learned by testing my lil pouch. Not a smart thing to do, but certainly a learning experience. They say our heads take a while to catch up to our bodies. Well, there are days when my eyes are bigger than my stomach... literally! Without thinking I will take more than I should (even though it IS less than I used to eat). Then end up over eating, but not before it is 'too late'. OUCH!! While I can watch and enjoy some cooking shows on the Food Network (love Rachel Ray!), I have to change the tv channel when certain commercials come on. If I see one more pizza or macaroni and cheese commercial I think I will scream! I haven't even tried walking through a grocery store yet. Thankfully I can order online. I think I will need blinders for when I do go back to shopping at a store. Something that will only allow me to purchase non-edibles and protein only foods! (((((((((((Big Huggs)))))))))))) to you Ginger, and everyone else dealing with the food demons! Huggs, Ruth

Hi Twinnee, How did I know you would be going through the same crisis as me?? Who would've thought??? I think last night I was feeling so depressed that I went in search of something(food) to make me feel better. I always tried that action before surgery....a bad habit to break for sure!! Ahhh yes the mac and cheese commercials and that Pizza-Hut cheesey pizza!!!ugghhh someone out there don't like me! I put too much on my plate too..and can't eat it...unlike the old days..pre-wls! I agree with you on the matching straight-jackets...I'd help tie you up...but then I wouldn't be able to be tied up by you...Sounds like I'm loosing it again HugsTearsand Smiles Ginger

Ginger, You are not alone on this matter! I have been trying to work out the same issue for many months now.. You are stronger then I am! I do end up buying "crap" at the store. I buy it, get it home, put it away, and then in a few months I have to toss it out.. I always think I might want a treat- but then when the time comes I find something else. Ive had this same bag of doritos in my pantry for 3 months now... I look at them often but just dont want to eat them.. Yeah I crave them and I really want them, but dont have the nerve to actually open the bag.. So honestly if you looked through my cabinets and pantry you would see a bunch of "crap" that is collecting dust.. I have wasted so much money of foods that I know I shouldnt eat, and dont normally eat, but I just cant get past the feeling that I have to have them.. As long as I have them in the house then I have an easier time dealing with the cravings.. I know- crazy!! For me, if I deprive myself or dont have things available to me then I lose control and screw up. As long as I have it available to me whenever I want it then I dont end up eating it.. As long as I can go and look at it, then I feel like I have control.. It wouldnt work for most people, but for me its the only way for me to control my eating.. By no means do I *always* make the right choice- I do screw up, I do eat things I shouldnt, and I normally *pay the price* when I do.. But Im finding that I have much more control the further out I get.. I guess the further out I get, the more I can eat, and the more choices I have to make the better Im doing. When I was limited to protein protein protein I couldnt control myself. Now that I can have salads, veggies, even a few carbs or starches I dont want it as much.. I eat more protein by choice... With the exception of the salads.. I still eat a salad daily- I just make sure to put protein in with it.. I guess what Im rambling about is that you will find what works for you! Everyone is different and we all have to find our own ways.. It takes time, but you will eventually figure out what works best for you... If you find something that works for you please share! Any ideas and suggestions are always helpful for each of us while trying to find our own ways.. Take care and Good luck Amber

One Big rule, and I broke it last week Is never to get on the scale aroung that monthly time. There is a good chance that bloating can cause false weight. Also, I havee been feeling like I will never make goal But, that's why I visit this board. This group is very encouraging. Let's just take it day by day. Moment to monment when necessary!! Take a deep breath, and keep going!!!

Ginger, I'll bet it is the rare person who had to have wls that doesn't struggle with these food issues. It is another reason why so many patients ultimately gain their weight back. They tell me that the more you say no the easier it gets, so I'm trying that...some days are much more successful then others. I don't get sick from eating anything (only too much of something) so I really have to watch it...and exercise and drink water and take my vitamins!!! Remember the saying "Weight Loss Surgery is not a get out of diet and exercise jail free card!" It sure ain't! Lori 384/245/168