Dating question

What are your thoughts on dating coworkers? By this I mean those folks on the "other end" of the radio from you. I know that can turn into a lot of on the job drama, but I'd think that someone in the same field understands the hours, stress, etc and can be a source of support. Do you think it intereferes too much with work to date someone you dispatch? Paula

Well, all I can say is it depends on the people involved. I've found some common threads amongst cops and it seems to me the majority are married to nurses, dispatchers and stay at home moms. So of the first two it would seem they go for a like=like personality type mix. The latter seems a more submissive and traditional female role. As for working with someone you are dating, I have seen it happen in the past enough to feel pretty comfortable with it. I think it could be hard for folks who aren't well balanced though. And it could be hard to dispatch objectively during hot calls. I have also seen where one dispatcher I worked with who was dating (and ultimately married) a trooper transferred to our sister center and she had problems with catty comments from the other dispatchers about the trooper....knowing it would bother her. I think it could be exciting and fun and with those who have level heads, even long term and lasting. It just depends on the people involved. I told someone recently who was expressing concerns about dating someone they work with that I guess I feel like work is kind of the perfect place to meet your mate. You learn how they are with other people, you learn their work ethic and you get to see how they interact with their bosses and co-workers. I think this gives a good insight into who you are dealing with....moreso than with the average joe you meet in the grocery store picking out veggies in the produce isle. Certainly it's not a perfect rendering of who this person is off duty, but it's a better start than many people get. As for me, I married my boss....from back when I delivered pizzas. But the same rule applies....you learn more about people you work with and I kind of feel you have an advantage there at times. So, now the big question is: Are you considering dating one of your officers? Dina

Thanks for the advice....I think you are right on the money about learning how the other person reacts to things...... and to answer your question....... yes, I am considering it...for now, we are taking it kinda slowly...hanging out, etc....I guess it is called dating....but nothing serious, yet. Paula

I think it depends on the two individuals involved. When I worked at a very small agency years ago, I married an officer in the town next too the town I dispatched for. We were a very small county and everyone shared the same radio frequency. Everything was fine until he moved to a bigger agency and began hanging out with eccentric officers who felt it part of their duty to pay attention to everything in a skirt who flirted with them. Needless to say, things ended pretty abruptly when I came home from work early and caught him and a stripper in my bed. Now, I'm happily RE-married, with a wonderful son, and I dispatched in the same department my ex is a police officer in!! Now, I'm over in Records, so I don't just hear him over the radio anymore, I get to see him pretty much every morning when I go past briefing. It bugs the crap out of him for me to stop and chat with his fellow officers. I've told everyone that I have no reason to act strange or funny, because I didn't do anything wrong.... he did, and that's why he freaks every morning when I walk through those doors! Some of the Sgt's & Lt's get a kick out of it. They kind of like to add fuel to the fire by calling me in there and asking me to look over a report they are about to turn in. Sometimes, it's my ex's. It can work though. Just try to keep other's from influencing or changing your behavior! Sherri

Sherri, Thanks for the advice on that. I will definitely keep it all in perspective and not let other's words or actions influence me. As for your ex....what a JERK!!! I hope he's kicking himself in the butt every day at what he's missing out on. I know that some cops are notorious(sp) for being less-than-faithful, so I am keeping a level head on this relationship. This whole WLS journey has been enlightening....I find that I am much more confident in my dealings with the opposite sex...not just in a dating situation, but overall. For now, my friend and I are just that....friends. We do go out on dates, but due to me working almost every day lately those dates have been basically meeting for coffee or breakfast after work. I'm trying to keep from getting too caught up in the romance, etc. Thanks again! Paula

Well, coffee & breakfast after work sounds like a date to me! I dunno, call me a romantic, but what's the harm in getting caught up in the romance? But then I'm an all or nothing kind of girl, so that is my "mode" coming out. If you're already seeing each other, you've already dipped your feet into those waters. What will be, will be, huh? I hope it's a great way to be, though!!!! Dina

Paula, a bit late, but after a bad experience dating someone I worked with (years and years ago) I would never do it again. Alot does depend on the people involved, and at the time I was young and naieve, but things ended badly and I ended up changing jobs over it. funny thing is, life took me vaious places, before I moved back to my Dad's hometown, when I started at this dispatch center, who did I find working here.... the ex boyfriend! It took him 2 weeks to recognize me, and since my last name was different due to marriage...he didn't know it was me, but I knew it was him from the get go, I wanted to see how long it took him to figure it out haha! This is not the area we lived in when we dated.. very weird. we work together well, and get along fine now, but for a long time I really hated him. (then I grew up and got over it) I wish you better luck then I had...I know of other work romances that have worked, hopefully yours is one that makes it! Keep us posted on how things go! Brianna