Need to get serious about exercise

I filled out my application for the LE exam yesterday. The test is tentativley set for sometime this Spring. My big problem is that I need to focus a lot more on my fitness routine, or lack thereof. I really have no excuse other than laziness and hatred of exercise. I've lost 100lbs so far and it's certainly a lot easier to get around now. If I don't get serious about this, I'll never be able to pass the physical portion of the academy. I really believe that part of my problem is that I slef sabotage out of fear of the unknown. I'm very scared that I'll get into the academy and even after losing all of the weight, be humiliated because I can't keep up physically. This is a problem that goes way back for me. I was almost through the military recruitment process when I was 18 and I did the same thing. I was very thin then but I still didn't meet the Air Force's weight requirement. It really was way too low for my build, but the gov't thinks in very arbitrary terms, with no room for such ideas. Anyway, I had less than 15 pounds to go but I never lost it. Instead, I gained a ton of weight and ended up battling morbid obesity for years to come. It was all out of fear. I wanted to be in the military more than anything in the world, but my self esteem was so low that I let my fear get the best of me and take away my dream. I can't let it happen again. I'll admit that my self image is a lot better now than it once was, but there are still those old demons lingering in my mind. They are the ones that tell me I'm not good enough and I'll never make it, so why even try. I CAN'T LET THEM WIN THIS TIME!!! I really need to stop sabotoging myself and deal with this issue head on. I did order several exercise DVDs the other day and they should be here soon. I need to talk to my Lt at work about helping me too. He's in perfect shape, and he owns a gym that I will be joining soon. Hopefully I can use him as my personal trainer. I'm lucky enough to have a great support system and I really need to start utilizing it. So I guess the only question here is, if I know all of this, then what the hell is my problem?! sorry for rambling on so long, I'm just really frustrated with myself right now. If anyone would like to give me good swift kick in my big fat butt, feel free Carol

Carol, no butt kicking from me, I have the same problem... I just can't get motivated since being switched to overnights almost 7 months ago.. and it sucks. I am always tired, sleeping, or trying to sleep. I have supportive people around me, but no one to actually work out with, if I had a work out buddy it would be of such a great help, and get me off my behind doing more! Working out alone is NO FUN.. Good luck in finding the motivation!!