Boob Origami - Part 1

Boob Origami My last post was pretty heavy, so I thought I'd lighten things up a little with some thoughts on "boob origami". For those of you who don't have breasts large enough - or the right shape - to fold, this may be either illuminating, frightening or way more than you wanted to know. You have been warned. "Boob origami" or "breast origami" is what you do if you have formerly substantial breasts (aka "boobs of heft") and you have found yourself, um, recently deflated, as the Japanese say. This is actually, one of the few phrases I remember from my pre-pubescent romance with Nihongo, and you have no idea how seldom this comes up in normal ****tail party conversation, even (especially with) native speakers. In order to get your breasts into a regular bra - especially an underwire - and to get your nipples both pointing in the preferred direction at the same time, you have to literally fold your breats to get them to fit properly into the cup. This takes more practice than one might think on first blush. First of all, for those of you who have misplaced your owner's - or operator's - manuals, most women have one breast larger than the other. When fully inflated, this may be a slight oddity to be noted in the mirror or discussed with one's more intimate friends, but after WLS the disparity can become quite marked, necessitating yet another fold to get one's breasts looking not even symmetrical, but like the owner/operator isn't standing on a listing ship in a hard wind. Secondly, gravity is indeed a cruel mistress. I don't know if any of you have seen the t-shirt saying, "Tell your boobs to stop staring at my eyes", but I think the enterpreneur who comes up with the "Tell my boobs to stop staring at my thighs" might sell a few shirts among my people. While many of us genuinely enjoy not advertising our recent food choices on our chests, that lack of "shelf action" comes at a price. The old joke about going from a 44D to a 44 extra long suddenly takes on new meaning and nipples that were once perky extroverts take on a distressingly introspective bent. [Part 1 - continued on lessflabmorefab.blogspot.com]

OMG!!! Hahahahaha.  Priceless (and beautifully written.)    

5'7"   SW 268lbs BMI 42/ CW 132lbs BMI 20.7 / GW 140lbs
136lbs  Lost 

                            I Ymy duodenal switch
 

 

Boob Origami!  You've coined a great phrase.  We will have to get you a Tshirt    "Caution Boob Origami Within"    or  Boob Origami Classes Sarting  Soon, Call Kitty at 555-1212"

Wow - just in time! I'm only 7 weeks out now, but I already know I will be in desparate need of these skills as I get closer to goal. Can we have on line classes?  Or diagrams, like the origami books? PLEASE?

I hear ya! I must have flunked folding in grade school, 'cause I can't ever do it right.  I've jumped ship and now I roll.  Hold them straight out and starting at the nipple, begin rolling under (kinda like rolling a.. uh.... a cigarette... yeah, a cigarette) and when all rolled up place in bra cup.  One of the advantages is that you don't have to worry about lining up the nipples, or going to the bathroom later and seeing in the mirror that one nipple is pointing straight ahead and the other is pointing West.                         

Very sad!  Very true!  Just wait till the side boobs are bigger than the boob boobs!

Too funny Patty.......I think I'm getting close to that.

This has got to be the funniest post I have ever read.  I'm litterally sitting here crying from laughing so hard.  But then I stop.....I think....hey!  This is likely going to be me in a couple of months......Eeeek!  I'd better take note and sign up for the classes.  :)  I'm a *ahem* well endowed person now so I imagine it will all go south with the weightloss.  Suddenly this isn't so funny anymore. ;) Thanks for the giggle Kitty. :)

BWAHAHA!!! Yup, you'll be folding and rolling and stuffing with the rest of us well before Christmas! Did Dr. P. give you the "boob talk"?

Hehehe.  Nope.  Dr. P hasn't said anything yet about the boobs.  He has talked about plastic surgery though.  He wanted Joe and I to know that it is DEFINITELY in my future and that it's not an option for me but a necessity.   I still have a few questions for ya.  I'll pm you soon. :)