Telling Coworkers About Surgery

Since my staff and coworkers found out, they have been unsufferable. I didn't intend to share with them, but my wife, who works in the same office, for some reason decided to tell everyone that I was having surgery "to loose weight". This was so aggravating to me because she knows better than anyone else that I am having this surgery to deal with my diabetes and I see the weight loss as a really great "side effect". I've picked up bits and pieces of conversation about how "it's a shame" and the helpful suggestion that I should try to eat less and exercise more (gee, why didn't I think of that?). Last Friday, the company bought pizza for the office - I indulged in one single slice - and had to endure the disapproving glances from the people arounf the office who figure I should eat nothing more than a lettuce leaf. There are a few of the other extreme who now think I'm some sort of invalid who needs their constant pity also.

Best bet it to tell those who NEED to know and tell the rest that you are having a medical procedure done. Don't be afraid to tell people you would rather not go into details if it makes you the least bit uncomfortable. You've taken charge of your life getting to this point - don't relinquish that control to peer pressure.

You're going to have surgery to correct some metabolic issues and the closest doc that specializes in what you need is out of town.  That should be vague enough without  lying.

Once you tell you can't take it back. If you don't tell and later need to share some details you still can. But once that horse is out of the barn so to say...

I didn't tell and still don't ~ at work.

Karen well stated IMO... key word..." WISDOM"....

 

I think the "veteran" part of me is saying "no," not because of NOSEY coworkers...I don't care much about what others think...no people pleasing here.  It's because you are--or, more correctly, I was--treated as "different," even by family.  And they do it to help...and they know people who have had other surgeries (and I had even had the band previously with LOTS of things I couldn't eat) and it just never stops.

In the Thanksgiving conversation with my sister, I said,  "If you've got turkey, I can eat."  She is still concerned that I need something special or won't be able to enjoy the same meal.  Okay, I think I've formulated my short response...

Once you tell others about your wls, they expect to share the entire journey with you...sometimes, meal by meal...snack by snack."

HTH,

Sue

I am one of those who tell everybody about the DS. If I worked in an office, I would have told everyone, I'm sure.

On the other hand, these people aren't paying your bills, sleeping in your bed, watching your kids, etc. so you owe them nothing. As to workload, tough **** you'd cover for them if they were out for a surgery.

If you don't want to tell, you shouldn't tell. It's a bell that cannot be unrung. And gossip will fly.

Nicolle 

I have told my supervisor, HR, etc. that I am having abdominal surgery or intestinal surgery.  That's it.  I've told my mom, my husband and a few CLOSE friends that I'm having the DS.  That's it.  At this point that is all I am comfortable with.  I go back and forth between feeling like I should tell everyone and feeling like I need to keep it a secret.  I think for me it boils down to still feeling ashamed that I got to the point where I need surgery.  I know logically this makes no sense, but it's as if I don't tell them they won't know I got to that point.  (As if they can't see that I'm fat.)  Stupid, but that is where my mind is stuck right now.  I figure at least I recognize that and perhaps with some time I'll feel differently. 

I have also considered saying something along the lines of "I had surgery to correct a hormonal imbalance and metabolic disorder." 

Needless to say, I'm still figuring all this out as well.