DS problem I never thought about....

Kerry, Could be so many things - its' the Holidays - she's a new Grandma again - she already misses the family she just left behind, to quote Yul Brynner, "etcetera, etcetera, etcetera."   Write her a note explaining your feelings and invite her to write back.  Maybe it will be easier for her to articulate without a face to face confrontation - and maybe she truely does not even know her own self.  You are her safe place.  Hang tough.   Good luck!  

I like the note idea, I may do that as part of my plan tonight.

Thanks!

Kerry

You know Kerry, maybe she's afraid of "something"

Who knows what it is ... you won't know until she tells you, so start working on communicating with her.]

Maybe she's jealous you spend so much time here talking to other women?  Maybe she's upset you've lost weight so easily (and can eat what you want - i.e. full fat, etc.)  

She is your eternal partner.  No one wants to go thru an eternity of silent treatment.  Go find out what it is and FIX it.  That's what men do best. FIX things.   

I will keep you and Barb in my prayers.

Laurie

I dunno Laurie, I don't think she's jealous about anything; I tried to get her to come with me to San Francisco for my check up and to come to the support meeting and meet people, but she didn't want to go.

I do think it has to do with how easy I can maintain my weight now; while she struggles; those roles used to be completely opposite.

I'll bet I find out tonight what the problem is and I'll bet there is no real problem, but we'll see.

Kerry

My guess is she doesn't even know what's bothering her.  It probably is at you, but she probably also knows it's not rational for her to be mad at you and she can't put her finger on it, so she is taking it out in little ways.  Probably right now she's just annoyed as hell at you and she isn't even sure why. 

Can you tell I've been guilty of this?  I don't do it any more, but I understand it.  And ultimately it was about me, not him.

I will say this - when the blow-up happens, or whatever happens that allows her to unleash all the feeling she's bottling up and during that unleashing she figures out what's bothering her and tells you - it would serve you both if once it's over you could let her know this pattern is troubling for you and that you both need to find a way to keep it from happening again. 

What happens when I've done that is I begin resenting him - and resentment is pure poison for a marriage.  We put an end to it and now we talk and I tell him what's up.....I know you two could find a new way for her to figure out her frustrations.

Good luck!!  I know this has to be maddening for you.

I wouldn't be a bit surprized if you're right on Krissy, I'll bet she doesn't even know why she's annoyed. We'll get to the bottom of it tonight.

Kerry

We both cook, but that's really not a problem, we both eat healthy, I just eat more fat. And I eat more of everything than she does. It's just that nowadays she has to really watch what she eats to maintain her weight and it didn't used to be that way.

Kerry

when i am upset with DH, i remind me our first meeting and the feeling , the love at the first sight,  may be he is the only people i want to kill sometime but taking the bullet for him  speaking together, not you and me ;) about the good  time, every time make us lovey dovey  don't forget after gastric surgery the rate of separation it's 80% .... lot of work to avoid this  :(  and if you plan a romantic trip to europe, feel free to ask me   cheers 

Good advice Christine. We have a Mediterranean cruise planned for April; it should be a really nice time.

Kerry