DS problem I never thought about....

Oh Kerry - I'm so sorry you and Barb are having a rough time. You probably know her better than anyone (possibly even herself), so trust your instincts and keep letting her know that you know something's not quite right and that she can talk anytime she needs to.  Like others have said here, there are so many possibilities, and she may truly not really understand what's going on with herself. Maybe you could ask her out on a date night, and spend some special time together talking about what does work in your relationship, and all the reasons you love each other. Sometimes we just need to be reminded how great things are, and that your relationship is a safe place to share whatever needs to be shared.  I'll certainly hold you both in the light.

On another note, I just want to say what great men we have on this site!!!  You and Steve and Tom and Chad and Brok and all the others are just wonderful!  It does my little lesbian heart proud to know you all and count you as my friends! 

No question about it Laura, we often take for granted the people who mean the most to us; I'll remind her about this tonight. You're very kind and thoughtful Laura.

Thank you,

Kerry 

Give her a foot massage every single night. Whatever you did, she'll forgive you.

Kerry,

I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through this. Marriage is difficult and if you and Barb have made it 35 years you must be doing something right. Maybe it is just something inside her that she needs to work out on her own. Maybe she is resentful of you but she knows deep down that it is not anything you have done it's just something that she needs to get past and she is trying to figure it out. I wish you all the luck. Women can be very difficult and we can hold a silent grudge with the best of them. You are awesome for caring so much about her, it is refreshing to see that there are still some good ones out there.

Hang in there sometimes alittle time is all you need.

Tiffany

Thanks Tiffany, I'll get it out of her tonight, no matter how long it takes LOL!!!

Kerry

Sounds like a great idea Anna, I'll start on the feet, probably end up somewhere else....

Kerry

 We women are guilty of expecting you guys to read our minds.  So, go to her and tell her you would really like her to tell you what is going on.  Tell her when she can find the words, you would really like her to explain it to you.....

Yea, I've noticed that too, and I'm terrible about reading minds or getting hints; I just have no clue! LOL!!!

I'll get it out of her tonight, no matter where I have to go with the massage.

Kerry

Dear Kerry

Romance and lots of love to reassure her that you are still her man.  I have seen the pictures of you and you are a fine lookin man. 

I am sure other woman are noticing you even if you don't notice them.  That bothers some woman.  35 years is a long time and now you have changed.  Did you have any of this with the RNY? 

I will pray for  you guys cause 35 years is a long time.  I am sure it will work out with some time.  But I believe in good ole fashion Romance. 

God Bless ya
Wings

I don't remember any of this happening when I had RNY, but back then Barb was skinny and could eat anything she wanted to and she loved candy & Twinkies! Used to make me so mad, she would eat all that crap and stay a skinny bum I would have to really watch what I ate. The roles are just reversed now; except that I don't eat sweets and junk. If other women are noticing me, I don't know about it other than the one time at the gym.

It will be just fine, I'll find out tonight even if I have to hold her down and tickle it out of her!

Kerry