DS problem I never thought about....

Women just love to put in their two cents.  So here's mine.

Haaaaaard to believe it could have anything to do with food issues. 

Here's a question for you.  You are unquestionably attractive, Kerry, both outside and inside.  Are you a flirt?  A touchy-feely type, hugging all the women you meet?  I've known men like that and seen their wives get pissed because of it.

good grief.  this is why I like men better than women.  Generally speaking, if someone's gonna be pissy and act miffed, it's gonna be a woman, not a man.  Men are much more forgiving and easy to get along with than women.

pp

Nope, I'm not a flirt or a touchy feely kind a guy; I'm pretty stand offish and always feel uncomfortable when I have to hug people I don't know intimately. I may get flirted at, but I'm so dense about that sort of thing I would have no clue it was even happening. I can only think of one time I know of that other women flirted with me and that was at the gym. When I figured out what was going on, I felt pretty weird about it. 

I'll get to the bottom of it tonight...

Kerry

Wow Kerry,  you got a boat load of good ideas from everyone.  I especially like the one about giving her a foot rub.  If anything was going to get me to talk,  that would be it.

My DH loves that I lost the weight but just yesterday he said I eat like a horse.  WHAT?!  I was hurt and found it insulting.  I think he is a little jealous that I can eat like I do and not gain weight.  That being said,  I eat nowhere near like I use to and my choices are so much smarter. 
I'm betting she feels a little left out of the"new you".  Good Lord Kerry, I've never seen anyone embrace life like you do!! 

Foot rubs and 10-20 minutes of just talking about you and her a day could be just the ticket.

I'm sure you'll work this out,  keep us posted,  D...........

You're right Dar, I've got some great advise and ideas and I'm going to start on the feet; not tellin where I'll end up.... but feet are the place to start.

We will work it out, but I sure appreciate all the advise and help!

Thanks,

Kerry

Hey there Kerry,
I'm sorry to hear about the issue you're having.  Hopefully it will get resolved  soon and you both can move on happily.  Granted I don't know much about your relationship and am no therapist or anything...but I have learned that communication is SOOOOOO important.  I'm a hard ass when it comes to opening up when something is bothering me too....but I told my husband, going into the marriage, that he would have to get me talking cause it's not so easy for me to open up on my own.  So maybe something you might want to try is sitting her down and YOU start the conversation by telling her how you feel about her, how much you love her and how much she means to you and then continue by explaining that you know something is wrong and add in your ideas of what you feel might be bothering her.  Let her know that you see and understand how it might be affecting her and then give her a chance to see if she's willing to open from there.  If I had to bet on it, I would venture to say that might just get her talking by taking that approach.  There's still that chance that it will start that argument that you mentioned, but at least you'll be getting it over and done with and can move forward from there.  Does that make any sense??   This is just coming from someone who has the same characteristic of keeping things inside.  Best of luck to you both!!

Yes Lori, it makes sense to me. I'll get her to talk, I'll start by talking while we're doingthe dinner dishes, if that doesn't get her to open up I'll start the foot massage and work my my up from there.

I'll get it out of her no matter how long it takes!

Kerry

Sometimes Chrismas Holidays can be depressing,the spending of money can cause this,especially if you feel you spent to much and still don,t have really enough to show for it.   Take Barb out for just a special,date let her know what she means to you, and slather it with honey it always works !

That's another great idea Rebecca, I'm sure we can get out on a date some time this week.

Kerry

Hey Kerry

I'm going to throw in 2 cents as well.  I know you don't flirt with any women, but could it be other women flirting with you, or noticing you, that might be making Barb uncomfortable?  That, in addition to your freedom with food, could be enough for the annoyance you're sensing.  My husband has already complained (jokingly, but still. . .) about the food choices I'm able to make.  He's also stated a couple of times (again in a joking fashion) about some rich, fabulous, perfect guy taking me away from him.  He's not jealous, exactly, but there is some insecurity.  I don't notice if a man notices me - it's totally irrelevant to me, but he sure notices every man who looks at me.  Apparently there are a couple?  which was a total surprise to me.  You sound a lot like me in this regard, so maybe there are many women giving you the eye and you just don't realize it.  

Hope your plan goes fabulously and you're able to have the heart to heart the two of you need. 

Thanks Rachel, I wondered about that too and asked Barb about it last night. We did get to the bottom of it and it was as I suspected; she was just annoyed that I can eat like I can now and still maintain my weight. It took awhile to drag it out of her, but that was what it was all about.

She says she knows other women are looking at me, but it doesn't bother her because I don't pay any attention to them. Which I don't, but then I'm pretty dense about that sort of thing and don't even realize when it's happening.

Kerry