Asked to be in a wedding this summer. But Planning DS for summer could I do both?

My best friends little sister called me today and asked me if I would be a brides maid in her wedding. There are VERY few people who could get me in a formal gown at my weight and put me on display. Unfortunately she is one of them.

I said I would and immediately after hanging up the phone started to reconsider. But I know she would be heart broken if I said no. I am very close to her family her mom took me in as a teenager. (long story) But it would just mean a lot to her if I was in her wedding.

So I decided I would get the damn dress and chin held high strut my big booty down the aisle. But then thought well **** My 6 month Diet is over 5/31 and I am thinking I will probably be scheduled for surgery in July sometime. (high hopes) And her wedding is August 28th.

I know everyone is different but do you think it is possible for me to have my DS in July and feel well enough to be in her wedding? I don't want to commit to something and then not be able to deliver. I also don't know if I would be willing to give up my DS for a later date. Is that incredibly selfish?

It's really a hard call due to you don't know how you are going to be feeling and what your date will be. I went to Costco on Tues and I felt like I ran a marathon (never ran one...but what I think I would feel like if I did. lol) i had to go and find the display couch and chairs and sit and rest and I think I was up walking for 15-20mins. I gave my husband the list and he got the rest of the stuff we needed. I still get winded after a shower now too. I am over 3weeks out.

Maybe you can tell her you can do as little as possible and hopefully you will not have to stand too long.  Just let her know that you are having surgery and that you will have to sit periodically. I think you'll be tired. I still feel weak but it may be doable!

Just me but I don't think you can do both.  As a member of the wedding party .. people will be counting on you, depending on you which will be out of your control if you aren't feeling well after surgery or have complications.
Even without complications the recovery has been very hard on me as it is for some people even people who think it won't be an issue for them. It IS individual but unfortunately you won't know until after the fact.
Can you schedule your surgery for August 29 th LOL. That would be the best of both worlds!
Just depends on how important this person and being in her wedding is to you. Not make it sound harsh or anything that is what it boils down to.
If you want the earliest possible surgery date (as many of us can identify with) then I'm not sure you can do both :(

I guess it's possible, but if I were in your shoes, I would choose. Either have the surgery after the wedding, or let your friend know that you need to have this surgery ASAP due to your health, and it will sadly prevent you from being in her wedding. 

There are a couple of major considerations:

1) You don't know your date yet, what if they want to schedule you in late July or early August? You may have a complication or a longer recovery, and it's hard to know where you'll be at that stage. You wouldn't want to have to let her down at the last minute.

2) If you take the gamble that you'll have a smooth and swift recovery, the dress fitting may still be a real issue. It's possible you could drop sizes so quickly that you'll have to get major alterations at the last minute, and some styles of dresses really can't be altered that severely without looking funny. 

I don't think it's selfish. I think it would be more selfish to say yes and then be forced to bow out at the last minute, sending the bride scrambling. If she is a close friend and the wedding is really important to you though, just schedule afterwards. I know a month+ seems like forever to wait, but in the scheme of things it may go quickly.

Jenna

Honestly, I don't know. I'll say it's possible, but it won't be easy, it just depends on when your surgery is. If it's the beginning of july you may not have any problems at all. By 8 weeks post op I was feeling pretty good and could have done it. Any sooner than that though I don't think I could have. Even when I was starting to feel good again after surgery the hardest part was standing up. I'd feel great sitting down, but when i got up I just got so I tired I thought I was gonna fall over. Add to that fact that you will have to be wearing heels and will have to be standing up straight (I was known to do a lot of slouching in the early days due to the incision tightness I felt) I just don't know. HOWEVER, what I would do if I were you is I'd call my Dr. office and see how long it typically takes from insurance approval to surgery. insurance approval by itself can sometimes take a couple weeks. For me my Dr. books out about 3 months in her slow times. I had to wait about 3.5 months from surgery approval to my actual surgery so if that's the case then you'll be sitting pretty and you won't even have surgery until after the wedding. First thing I'd do would be to call the surgeon and get a rough estimate ... but anything less than 6 ater surgery is too soon and even if you commit to it you'll end up not being able to do it more than likely.

I don't think you're being selfish at all.  But I don't think it will be a problem at all to be a bridesmaid by that point.  If you get a surgery date of (say) July 15 you will be 6+ weeks' out by then.  I was back to work part time by 4 weeks and full time (well, full time for me which is 30 hours a week) by 6 weeks.  Sure, I was still tired by that time, but I was almost back to normal by then.

Just be honest with the bride.  Let her know that you've had surgery and will need to sit at times and will not be able to help with much of the wedding related things, but that you are honored to stand by her side when she gets married...blah, blah, blah.

Even if you don't get surgery until August 1, I still think you could do it.  You'd only have to stand for the hour long wedding.  You can sit between pictures and sit down at the reception.  She loves you and will understand if you need to sit a lot due to just having had surgery.

Felicia

It could take a month to get approval, and another month or more to get a surgery date, so don't think so far ahead right now.  If anything, enjoy yourself at the wedding, and get your DS in September.  What's another month when this person is dear to your heart?

I think you should do the wedding. As others have said, the approvals can take time, as well as how far out your surgeon is booked (at my surgeon's office the docs are generally booking 3-6 months out from when you receive your approval).

If you get in quickly following your approval, then you should have plenty of time to heal (barring unforeseen complications). I was/am tired (that's improving) but I could have gotten through one day of activity with breaks in between. Could have been a bridesmaid at 4 weeks, bare minimum, not any sooner. Of course that does leave you, as Jenna mentioned, with dress fitting issues. I found that it took me at least 40lbs to notice an actual difference in my clothes, but those are relaxed clothing not fitted formal wear. Regarding bridesmaidly duties: You can help with a lot of tedious prep tasks such as addressing invitations or assembling favors/centerpieces with her. I wouldn't be volunteering for more physically draining tasks like running errands or helping decorate venues.

The second option is to just plan to have your surgery after the wedding. Let your bridesmaid pictures be your "before." If you really want to drink at the wedding and let loose, that'd be the way to go anyway since you shouldn't be drinking until about a year post-op anyway. It's easy enough to tell the surgery scheduler that you have a conflict in August that requires you to hold off on surgery until September. Just make sure her wedding isn't in your liquid diet window so you can enjoy the food. :)

This is tough and my response is coming from someone a while post-op so I am trying to remember how I felt when I was in your shoes. I believe in your position, surgery is the most important thing in your world, getting a date, getting started on your journey, getting healthy & thinner. It is all consuming. But think 20 years down the road...you will have long since had your surgery, you'll be a vet at it but would you be ok not being in this wedding?

If it were me, I would suggest postponing your surgery until august. Yes, it means walking down that aisle with your current body but it also means supporting someone who sounds as close as family. And this is coming from someone who postponed a month and then the day of surgery had it postponed for 4 more days.

There are no guarantees that you will get a date you want. Shot you might get a June date. But if you mentally prepare for Sept then you can do both, no worries.

Good luck.

I'd do the surgery AFTER the wedding.  (Because you don't know what kind of recovery you'll have and I'd hate to risk disappointing somebody so important to me.)

I postponed mine a few weeks so I could attend my husband's grandfather's 80th birthday party.  I don't regret it at all!  It's kind of fun to see pictures from the party as my "before" shots.  :)