Female Going Crazy

Afternoon,

Here's my story....I am a 54 year old woman going insane. I am so frustrated with my band. My story goes something like this.....threee years ago I had the band put in.....lost about half my weight....then the band slipped.....a new one was put in place.....last summer and it stinks....doesn't work at all.....OK lets be honest I have learned to eat around this band and I am holding about 205 pounds. My goal weight is 135.

Not here is where I am going nuts.....I want to be thin. All my life I have been chubby. I want to know what it feels like to be normally weighted. I want to feel sexy, confident and beautiful.

What did I expect from this WLS.....I read everything under the sun about WLS.  Read all the posts....with promises that my life would change beyond my wildest dreams. BUT I AM NOT THIN. I see all the pictures of the before and afters and I am JEALOUS.

How much more surgery and reconstruction can I do to my body to be thin?

For the record I am a strong, healthy and smart woman that can be self supporting and not afraid of most things....but this freakin weight issue I am POWERLESS.

I had checked out DS about a year ago....but I don't think that I can fully commit to taking all those vitamins. Even when I purchase vitamins like daily's and such I take them for a few days and because I have a hard time swallowing them....I just forget them.

Now, I want to be rid of this 75 pounds extra weight.....I am so done with this. How old do I have to before I feel comfortable in my own body.

How has the DS been for you, has it kept the weight off for you. My doctor said that the RNY is not an option for me due to a past slippage with the band. He had suggested the sleeve....YIPES on that.

I just want to feel AVERAGE. I want to fit in a size 12-14.....I don't need to look like TWIGGY.....I am sick of my sleep apnea, my right knee hurting.....I am tired of fat clothing stores. I can not do this on my willpower alone. I know that this is a disease.....Ahhhh my head is swirling with it's all my fault. Just diet and you'll lose weight like on the Biggest Losers. BUT don't you think I have tried that 1 million times....You name the diet and I have been on it.

Does anyone else feel this way? How has or has not the DS worked for you? I would love to hear from new DSers and some long term DSers.....

Hey....thanks for letting me vent.....Hugs Susan

I am so sorry you're having such a tough time with your band! I can't even imagine! If there was anyone that was going to gain weight back after a weight loss surgery, it would have been me and I've only gained a few pounds from my lowest (thank you Christmas fudge). I'm 3 years out. When I was fat, I used to think about what I would give to be thin just for a little while. I had some morbid thoughts about getting cancer, and other horrible diseases, just so I would be forced to be in a hospital and finally lose the weight (I was fat my entire life) so, for me, taking supplements 6 times a day is a VERY small price to pay for looking the way I look (size 10 at 5'10") and feeling the way I feel (amazing!)!!

By the way, please don't beat yourself up over that band. I know several people in real life with the band and NONE of them lost more than 40 pounds! (the one that lost 40 lbs gained it all back!)

Leslie thank you so much for your honesty.....I too wanted diabeties so that I would be forced not to eat sugar. Can you beleive as to what lengths we would go to be thin....I am proud of you.

How long did it take you to lose your weight? How was the recovery time after surgery. If you had something negative to say about DS what would that be?

Thanks in advance.

Well, I lost 42 lbs the first month. 100 lbs at 5 months and to goal in, I think about 15 months. I lost 165 lbs.  My DS was open. Recovery for me sucked. I mean it's surgery!! I was in the hospital for 5 days. I would have loved another couple of days! I felt incredibly crappy for 10 days. But after a couple of weeks I was fine. By 3 1/2 weeks I was out driving and pretty much back to my old routine, but  would get tired faster. I felt really back to myself at about 6 weeks.

I honeslty have nothing negitive to say about the DS! Sorry, but it's the truth. I was also on every diet known to man, I would lose for a while, then wind up gaining. This life with the DS is amazing. Everytime I eat, I take some vitamins. It's no big deal to me. It's a habit now. I was on 5 meds for high blood pressure, edema and pain, . I prefer the vitamins!

About the old age thing. I feel now that at least I'll make it to old age!! At 340, I wasn't so sure....

Thank you Maria....I am very proud of all that you have done....what a success story.

Susan,

The thing that stands out in your post is the vitamin issue.

If you cannot commit to taking vitamins, learning how to read your labs, and tweaking your vitamins accordingly, this is NOT the right surgery for you.

Michele

Yes, Michele.....I agree with you about the vitamin issue. How does the vitamin issue really work. How often....and I am going to ask a real silly question....what happens in old age....if you get dementia and can't take vitamins in that way?

LOL!  I've wondered about this myself.  But I guess if I'm that demented, my quality of life will be for ****; so just forget the vitamins, feeding tubes, and let me die completely drugged up with morphine. If malnutrition gets real bad, the switch portion can be reversed.  But if I'm that demented can I make informed consent? 

Well, I can't predict the future.  I just know that my remaining relatively sane years will be more enjoyable due to my DS.  I could not say that when I was SMO.

Best wishes on whatever you decide. 

I agree with the last post. If you cant wrap your brain around the vitamins then there is noway you should even think about a DS. Vitamins, supplements and labs are what will keep you healthy and alive. They are a must! And its not 1 multi a day...its more on the average of 4-8 pills 3-4 times a day. Its a commitment for life...for your life.

Thanks Darlene.....Yes, the vitamin issues is BIG for me....just hearing 4-8 /3-4 times daily for life is HUGE for me. Food for thought....thanks.