I found my answer

So - a bit of an angry phase, which, if you knew me would make you laugh.  I've never been an angry person.  I'm a 'hurt' person.  I'm a 'see your side and feel your pain' person.  I'm a 'let's find a way to talk this out' person. So, while I've been angry, of course, an unwillingness to put up with even little **** is new for me. 

That said, I'm not walking around raging at people.  I've gained just enough wisdom since surgery to know it's better, often, to just bite my tongue and never deal with a person again than to let loose a tirade.  Tirades used to be my way - emotional tirades, specifically - crying and hurt feelings.  So this much less dramatic stillness is new for me too.  I figure if someone crosses me and it makes me angry enough to do something then rather than rage against them there is no reason they should have the benefit of my business, friendship, what have you.  I'm very comfortable these days just walking away.

At the same time, I feel no need to convince most people that I'm right any more.  Who cares?  This is also new since surgery.

However, something that gets under my skin a bit is when people say 'Ah man - you get to eat bacon?  Cheeseburgers?  Extra meat?  Can I have this surgery?'.  This is coming from people who aren't obese and are maybe, barely overweight if at all. 

So, I haven't said anything.  I would just get a little irked and let it go.  But today I found my answer:

"If you want to spend 33 years obese and try every diet, pill, exercise, voodoo, magic, self-blame,  prayer, crying, screaming and therapy to try to rid yourself of the weight, then yes, you too can have this surgery and eat bacon and it be good for you.  I consider this my long-coming reward for the difficult years of feeling inadequate for something over which I had no control."

Amen.

Amen,  

you are a smart girl. (coming from the old lady here) I'll be 61 this year.

Inge

As usual Krissy, Nicely put!!

Yorkie xx

 Excellent answer.

 Wonderful answer and good for you!

 I love this answer! I may use a modified version of it on an annoying acquaintance I have who keeps asking me why she can't get the DS to lose the "pesky" 15 lbs she's been trying to get rid of for years. 

Those are the moments when I wish that public beatings for stupidity and insensitivity were legal.

I'd love to know what to reply to my know-it-all sister who tells me I just don't know how to pray properly to overcome obesity.  She said the same damn thing to me when she found out I was on medication for depression.  I just wasn't praying hard enough, and meds weren't the answer.  Certain people can get under my skin in very special ways.  I guess I have to learn to just let it roll off my back.  Right now I just avoid these people when I can.

lol - when I was a church-goer (and still in high school) a man in my church told me I just had the 'demon of appetite'.  Seriously.

People are stupid.

The sad part is I used to go home as a kid and teen and pray that god would make me wake up thin and if he would I promised to tell everyone about it.  I figured it was somehow my failure that it didn't work. 

Krissy, I did this too.  I can't tell you how many times I prayed, fervently, for God to make me an 'acceptable' size.  Not even thin.  Just acceptable.  I'm a person of faith, so for me, I feel my answer has been provided through the DS, and I wouldn't go back and alter my life.  My obesity has given me compassion for other people that I think I would have lacked.  I still wouldn't knowingly choose to have lived in an obese body, but I'm at peace with that part of my journey now.  I don't think it was inflicted on me either, just that it was my particular body/metabolism, and if I can use it to be a more compassionate person, then I will.  I hope my ramblings are making sense.  I feel a kinship with your statement about being angry inwardly, I feel that way too.  I'm dealing with it, but it's gonna take some time.  ((hugs))