Personality change post-surgery?

My beloved SO, who has supported me in my surgery, nevertheless asks nervous questions and is getting worried as my date draws near. I've been reassurring him the risk of this surgery is not significantly more than other surgeries. What's great is he has never questioned why I chose DS over other types of surgeries, just took my word for it as the best WLS around.

However, he had to go through a lot when his ex-wife had gastric bypass about 6 years ago. In his words, her personality completely changed. She went to occassional b*tch to super b*tch. It was like two different people he says. She also cheated on him when she lost the weight. This was all in addition to him watch her suffer dumping syndrome, etc.

So, he is understandably nervous that this surgery will change me in some way. I've read about people's self-esteem improving post-surgery, making them realize they were in a unhealthy relationship, maybe even abusive. I've heard about spouses being jealous or resentful of the DSer's accomplishments. I've heard about friendship dynamics change when you are no longer the "safe" fat friend to have around. But  these seem to be the problem of the OTHER people.

Have you experienced or witnessed any personality changes in post-WLS people? To a person you don't recognize, or enhanced negatives or positives?

 My boyfriend nervously asked me the same question just the other night.  I'm interested to see what others have to say.

To have someone that loves you and treats you like a queen at THIS size, I can't imagine ever wanting to lose such a prince, can you?

 And that's EXACTLY what I told him.  He is wonderful to me and loves me just the way I am.

Women store hormones in their fat. Rapid weight loss releases these hormones and cause big emotional upheavals. I am post menopausal yet found myself experiencing those old symptoms of raging hormones.
Oh, and then there are those on the main board that say DSers become mean after surgery or maybe we were that way to begin with, because we try to educate the benefits of our choice. LOL

Well, if DSers weren't so MEAN I would have gotten a GB and been miserable so I'll forgive that side effect.

I'll keep in mind the harmone imbalances that may come - eek.

I have "changed" post surgery even though I'm only a few months out.  I don't think it is changing as much as I am acting more like my real self.  I am more outgoing and fun to be around like I used to be.  I stood up for myself this weekend to someone I don't know very well but had a long standing resentment towards.  He is a young punk and my old fears would have been that he would just call me a fat pig.  I never confront people out of fear that is what they will say.

On the other hand, I had a friend for years and after she lost all of her weight (not thru WLS), she became a super *****  She was abrasive a lot!  Before that she was the nicest person on the planet.  I believe she thought weight loss was going to solve all of her problems and when she was still single she rebeled against the world. 

I wrote about my surgery experience and how my husband and I changed because of it.  It's posted on my profile.  Also, if you read one of my latest posts from several days ago, I wrote about our relationship under "Divorce after the DS".  His ex-wife was bulemic and a cheater so he has a lot of bad experience with weight loss of a spouse.  I am SUPER mindful of his feelings all of the time.  He was originally very much against me having the DS.  It's important to think and talk about this subject before surgery and keep it in mind as time goes on. 

Cheers,
Cathy

One of my best friends, after losing all her weight through RNY, started having affairs and ended up leaving her husband. In her defense, her marriage was lacking for years. She had asked for support, asked for affection, and didn't get any. I think what happened is with the weight loss, she grew in confidence, and when she started getting hit on, she had no capacity (nor desire) to say no.

Three years later, and she is still happily with her "affair", living together like an old married couple. Her ex-husband realized that while the manner in which she left him was pretty awful (and dramatic), she just made good on all the threats she'd made to leave him over the years.

My opinion? Strong marriage before WLS = stronger marriage after. Troubled marriage before WLS = possible divorce. You might gain the confidence to step out of a crappy relationship once the weight is off. But if you love & adore each other, your relationship will survive your attaining health.

I haven't changed at all.  Other people have changed in their attitude and treatment of me.  My husband assures me they are jealous.  I just feel bad now when I run into friends who are SMO.  But several close friends are watching me and quietly asking questions.  Two have made appts for WLS consults.  One has gone to several appts toward the DS. 

I can tell you the hormones are a bear.   If I get PMS symptoms I look at it as a plus, because that means I am losing.  My DH just hides like he use to, and uses the PMS friendly words: "yes dear."

As for our discussion pre op.  I was more worried about him finding a deflated balloon attractive than with me leaving him.  But, I do know of people that divorced after weight loss.  One couple because the man could not handle the lady getting attention and jealousy took hold, and one couple because he had always treated her badly and she just wanted out.

When I worked at a bariatric clinic I had a man call and say I needed to send the bills to a new address, because his wife of 20 years lost weight and lost him.  So it does happen.

Told my hubby that when I lose weight I will be his trophy wife, but he just quotes Everybody Loves Raymond and says "What contest in Hell did I win to deserve that.".   Good thing I like him or I would have to kill him in his sleep.  (Til death do we part, and some days it does NOT look to good for him.)

Just prepare him for the hormone roller coaster and enjoy the ride.