Almost one year out! Long, with LOTS of pictures!
Hello everyone!
Well in about a day I will be a year out from surgery! Mind blowing right?! Time went so fast!! I remember just waiting and waiting for it to be my turn! I remember getting my surgery date and going down to Brazil and meeting the ever so WONDERFUL Dr. Marchesini!
I just thought I would post this "one year out" post while I am not busy. And just to let people know (because I said I would) I will be leaving Alaska on July 23rd and will be going to Lexington, Kentucky and will be there till Aug. 17th. So if anyone wants to meet up, let me know!
Lets see, what to start with....my life!
My life since my DS is absolutely wonderful. I mean that! It's better then I could of ever imagined. All this time I've been thinking about this post, this "one year out" post. I was wondering if I should make a speech, tell my back story and so on. So here goes!
About 4 years ago my mom's older brother was sent off to Mississippi to a training camp because he was going to be deployed to Iraq once he was done. But while going from one training camp to the other his Humvee wa**** from behind by a man high on drugs, my uncle and the man in the drivers seat were instantly killed.
You may wonder what this has to do with anything, but this was a big part of me being able to get my DS.
After my uncles tragic death my mother received a call from my aunt (this was around the time that I was getting very serious about getting the DS) telling us that my uncle had left her just enough money to cover my weight loss surgery. To this day it saddens me that he died, but in a way he helped saved my life......without that money I would not have been able to get the DS in time. That funding came JUST in time. I was 16 years old and weighing in at 535 pounds, my body was completely broken. I always had this feeling (no matter how hard things got, no matter how scary) that I was not going to die at such a young age. It was not acceptable or believable to me.
I had gotten to the point where I could not turn myself over in my bed, I could not do anything. I felt like this gigantic burden to my mom and sisters, my sister was at a "pre-teen" age and she was ashamed of me. I've always had confidence no matter how big I was, so I tried not to pay attention to those things. But it got harder and harder. I started to develop lympphedema in my legs. I had no idea what it was at the time, I went to a local ER and as soon as the doctor saw me he said "Its just fat." and walked out.
I was so ashamed of my weight that I hadn't gone to a PCP for a while, because the last time I did she did nothing but hurt me, emotionally. She blamed me for "trying to kill" myself by eating, my reply to her was "O yeah. Because I totally enjoy dieing a SLOW PAINFUL death." (HEAVY sarcasm) the lasts straw with her was when she told me that she would have a bet that I would die before I turned 20.
She also refused to even let me think about WLS as an option because she said I "simply needed to stop eating so much." even though at that time I was on a STRICT diet (and she knew).
My mom finally convinced me to go to her PCP, and so out of desperation I agreed. He turned out to be a wonderful man, who plays a big role in me getting the DS as well. When I went to see him for the first time I had not been weighed in a very long time. I got on that scale and it read 500 pounds and I cried. I cried like I never cried in my life, when I saw that number it felt like I was looking death in the face. I cried and he and my mother sat with me, he was the first doctor to ever treat me kindly.
He looked me in the eyes and told me that there is something WAY more wrong with me then just "over eating" (he knew I wasn't) and said that it would take something more then just over eating to get me to my weight I was at. I finally had met someone who understood, who didn't blame and bash me, someone who knew that it was my body that was messed up, and not my mind! It was one of the best feelings in the world to meet someone who finally believed me, who finally saw my pain and frustration and who was just as puzzled as I was!
He himself only knew about the lap-band and the RNY (like a majority of the doctors) and so he told me that he supported me 100% in my pursue of WLS and that he would fill out every paper and do every lab I needed done, as soon as possible. I at that time only knew about the RNY and lap-band as well and so we submitted my paperwork to the only RNY surgeon in Alaska. And after we did, I had to wait.
I was sleeping when the RNY office called. My mom came down to me with a red swollen face from crying and hugged me and told me that the RNY surgeon's assistant said they would not do my surgery and told me to loose 100 pounds and then come back to them. I lost all hope. That was the worst feeling in my life. Loosing my hope. I remember sitting there and there was no feelings. I felt empty, then the rejection began to sink in and I felt the worst pain I've ever felt in my life, I knew that without WLS I was going to die and I felt like death was my only option left and I felt like I was just going to sit in my home and eventually just pass on.
For the next couple days after my rejection the only way I could get myself up in the morning was by promising myself that I would take my own life rather then sub-come to my obesity. I already felt so ashamed for being the size I was, and I felt that I would be even more ashamed if I let obesity be my cause of death (and obviously it would of been). Looking back at that time in my life, how I promised myself that I would take my own life, hurts me. I've never been one to feel like that, to say such a thing. I've always loved life no matter my size, but I had come to the realization that I would never get to enjoy a life at that size and I saw no reason to live anymore.
I would set my day to when I wanted to possibly end it all, and I would make a mental promise. But something, something kept me waiting. I would say "Next Sunday." and when Sunday came around I would say "next Tuesday." and when that day came I would say another day.
But then one day I remembered Obesity help, I hadn't been on it in a while and so basically as a last straw I came here and I posted about being rejected the RNY and you lovely people came to my aid, and told me about this wonderful WONDERFUL wls! I am SO thankful everyday of my life! for you guys. Every single day. The more I was on here and the more people told me about the DS I began to get my hope back, and that was one of the best feelings I have felt.
So from there on I did my research on the DS and my hope grew and grew. I knew that I was going to have to travel for the DS because no one here does it. And I was ok with that. I took all the information I could find on the DS and showed my mom, and my PCP. Because of my age I needed them, I had to convince them. And I did.
The DS was all I ever talked about, I was here on OH everyday reading all the success stories to my mom. Because we were on a budget and because of my age (which was annoying!) I started to look at out of USA options. And I found Dr. M, I talked to his past patience and I liked him more and more. I remember asking my mom what her reaction would be if I told her we had to go to Brazil for my surgery. Her answer was "NO WAY. I am not going out of the country!" But as we all know she ended up changing her mind lol!
I remember being worried about my size, being as big as I was I felt like no one would take me, such a high risk. Plus my age bothered some surgeons. But I began to talk to Dr. M through e-mails and he told me he would love to help me, and he'd love to do my surgery. And from there on I was set. I got all my paperwork done, and I waited.
July 11th, I was admitted to my room a couple hours before surgery. I was so excited, and not a hint of scared. I had no worries at all, I kinda had my mind set that if I didn't make it through on the table, at least I passed trying to save my life, at least I tried. That was how I felt towards that poossibilty, but I had full confidence in Dr. M and I told my mom I would see her soon.
I was wheeled down to the operating room and I went under. My recovery was amazingly smooth! I had no drains, only an IV and not much pain. I ended up not having to stay in the ICU for two days (like they planned because my weight was very high). I didn't feel as bad as I expected to, and I just let my body do its thing. I took things slow and even talked to my "baby tummy" lol! I kept a positive outlook (even though I could not wait! to get out of the hospital lol I missed my mom and she wasn't able to visit me much because she has really bad pain and at that time her legs were on a crazy cramp outrage, so I didn't bother or expect her to come to the hospital).
I remember being finally able to drink (I was dying of thirst! haha I wasn't hungry, I just wanted a big cup of water. But I wasn't allowed to until I could pass gas.) I finally was able to move gas and I got super excited and told my nurse and she let Dr. M know and he came right away and asked what kind of Gatorade I wanted lol! I was SO happy to be able to drink! I ended up drinking a whole bottle and then a small pouch of coconut juice, over the day. It felt good! Dr. M is fantastic. Truly amazing man! He was so kind and caring! I miss him and all my nurses! I keep in touch with them and send them pictures, I remember watching music videos with my nurse and I taught her some English and wrote words and definitions in her little book of English she was making. I also keep in touch with my lovely travel agent in the lower 48, sending her pictures and updates.
I remember the physical therapist lady always smelled so good, and even though I dreaded doing my walking laps I loved when she came to visit because I did't like the smell of the hospital lol!
So overall I loved Brazil. I took things slow and was soon on my way home. I finally didn't feel this lingering "doom", I finally felt.....Free.
And so I have just been loving my DS ever since.
Now in my life I feel like I can do anything, I have high expectations for myself because my obesity is no longer holding me back as much. I am still pretty big but that's ok, I know my DS is still working and I am still doing what I need to do. While I was at my biggest I wasn't able to do school, so I did online classes, something happened with the home school program computer system and they lost my grades and refused to give me my credits so I am still in high school just finishing up my last year. I go to a public school now, that I found right after getting home. It's wonderful because at that time I was still healing, and I couldn't go to a normal school everyday but this school has a flexible schedule and I love it.
I currently have straight A's and I only have a couple classes to finish and I graduate!
Some wow's!:
-Before surgery I wanted to be able to drive SO bad, but I could not fit. Now that I am 141 pounds down I started taking drivers ed and today I got my license!!!
I fit!!!!
-I can wear regular size flats!! My feet no longer look pudgy and weird in flats! they look like normal people feet! I love flats!!
-Me and my younger sister share some clothing (shes a lot smaller then me, but some things fit her lol! if that makes sense)
-I go on a bike ride at least once a day, and go on walks all the time! I love them!
-I can stand for so long now.
Now some pictures!
Before: ahhhh. lol.
A couple months ago:
And now!:
I love my life. I love my DS and I love you guys! Thank you all so much!!!!!
-Jessy
ETA: Does anyone know how I can get in contact with the people who put together the OH magazine? I have a poem that my mom wants me to show them, any advice is appreciated!
Well in about a day I will be a year out from surgery! Mind blowing right?! Time went so fast!! I remember just waiting and waiting for it to be my turn! I remember getting my surgery date and going down to Brazil and meeting the ever so WONDERFUL Dr. Marchesini!
I just thought I would post this "one year out" post while I am not busy. And just to let people know (because I said I would) I will be leaving Alaska on July 23rd and will be going to Lexington, Kentucky and will be there till Aug. 17th. So if anyone wants to meet up, let me know!
Lets see, what to start with....my life!
My life since my DS is absolutely wonderful. I mean that! It's better then I could of ever imagined. All this time I've been thinking about this post, this "one year out" post. I was wondering if I should make a speech, tell my back story and so on. So here goes!
About 4 years ago my mom's older brother was sent off to Mississippi to a training camp because he was going to be deployed to Iraq once he was done. But while going from one training camp to the other his Humvee wa**** from behind by a man high on drugs, my uncle and the man in the drivers seat were instantly killed.
You may wonder what this has to do with anything, but this was a big part of me being able to get my DS.
After my uncles tragic death my mother received a call from my aunt (this was around the time that I was getting very serious about getting the DS) telling us that my uncle had left her just enough money to cover my weight loss surgery. To this day it saddens me that he died, but in a way he helped saved my life......without that money I would not have been able to get the DS in time. That funding came JUST in time. I was 16 years old and weighing in at 535 pounds, my body was completely broken. I always had this feeling (no matter how hard things got, no matter how scary) that I was not going to die at such a young age. It was not acceptable or believable to me.
I had gotten to the point where I could not turn myself over in my bed, I could not do anything. I felt like this gigantic burden to my mom and sisters, my sister was at a "pre-teen" age and she was ashamed of me. I've always had confidence no matter how big I was, so I tried not to pay attention to those things. But it got harder and harder. I started to develop lympphedema in my legs. I had no idea what it was at the time, I went to a local ER and as soon as the doctor saw me he said "Its just fat." and walked out.
I was so ashamed of my weight that I hadn't gone to a PCP for a while, because the last time I did she did nothing but hurt me, emotionally. She blamed me for "trying to kill" myself by eating, my reply to her was "O yeah. Because I totally enjoy dieing a SLOW PAINFUL death." (HEAVY sarcasm) the lasts straw with her was when she told me that she would have a bet that I would die before I turned 20.
She also refused to even let me think about WLS as an option because she said I "simply needed to stop eating so much." even though at that time I was on a STRICT diet (and she knew).
My mom finally convinced me to go to her PCP, and so out of desperation I agreed. He turned out to be a wonderful man, who plays a big role in me getting the DS as well. When I went to see him for the first time I had not been weighed in a very long time. I got on that scale and it read 500 pounds and I cried. I cried like I never cried in my life, when I saw that number it felt like I was looking death in the face. I cried and he and my mother sat with me, he was the first doctor to ever treat me kindly.
He looked me in the eyes and told me that there is something WAY more wrong with me then just "over eating" (he knew I wasn't) and said that it would take something more then just over eating to get me to my weight I was at. I finally had met someone who understood, who didn't blame and bash me, someone who knew that it was my body that was messed up, and not my mind! It was one of the best feelings in the world to meet someone who finally believed me, who finally saw my pain and frustration and who was just as puzzled as I was!
He himself only knew about the lap-band and the RNY (like a majority of the doctors) and so he told me that he supported me 100% in my pursue of WLS and that he would fill out every paper and do every lab I needed done, as soon as possible. I at that time only knew about the RNY and lap-band as well and so we submitted my paperwork to the only RNY surgeon in Alaska. And after we did, I had to wait.
I was sleeping when the RNY office called. My mom came down to me with a red swollen face from crying and hugged me and told me that the RNY surgeon's assistant said they would not do my surgery and told me to loose 100 pounds and then come back to them. I lost all hope. That was the worst feeling in my life. Loosing my hope. I remember sitting there and there was no feelings. I felt empty, then the rejection began to sink in and I felt the worst pain I've ever felt in my life, I knew that without WLS I was going to die and I felt like death was my only option left and I felt like I was just going to sit in my home and eventually just pass on.
For the next couple days after my rejection the only way I could get myself up in the morning was by promising myself that I would take my own life rather then sub-come to my obesity. I already felt so ashamed for being the size I was, and I felt that I would be even more ashamed if I let obesity be my cause of death (and obviously it would of been). Looking back at that time in my life, how I promised myself that I would take my own life, hurts me. I've never been one to feel like that, to say such a thing. I've always loved life no matter my size, but I had come to the realization that I would never get to enjoy a life at that size and I saw no reason to live anymore.
I would set my day to when I wanted to possibly end it all, and I would make a mental promise. But something, something kept me waiting. I would say "Next Sunday." and when Sunday came around I would say "next Tuesday." and when that day came I would say another day.
But then one day I remembered Obesity help, I hadn't been on it in a while and so basically as a last straw I came here and I posted about being rejected the RNY and you lovely people came to my aid, and told me about this wonderful WONDERFUL wls! I am SO thankful everyday of my life! for you guys. Every single day. The more I was on here and the more people told me about the DS I began to get my hope back, and that was one of the best feelings I have felt.
So from there on I did my research on the DS and my hope grew and grew. I knew that I was going to have to travel for the DS because no one here does it. And I was ok with that. I took all the information I could find on the DS and showed my mom, and my PCP. Because of my age I needed them, I had to convince them. And I did.
The DS was all I ever talked about, I was here on OH everyday reading all the success stories to my mom. Because we were on a budget and because of my age (which was annoying!) I started to look at out of USA options. And I found Dr. M, I talked to his past patience and I liked him more and more. I remember asking my mom what her reaction would be if I told her we had to go to Brazil for my surgery. Her answer was "NO WAY. I am not going out of the country!" But as we all know she ended up changing her mind lol!
I remember being worried about my size, being as big as I was I felt like no one would take me, such a high risk. Plus my age bothered some surgeons. But I began to talk to Dr. M through e-mails and he told me he would love to help me, and he'd love to do my surgery. And from there on I was set. I got all my paperwork done, and I waited.
July 11th, I was admitted to my room a couple hours before surgery. I was so excited, and not a hint of scared. I had no worries at all, I kinda had my mind set that if I didn't make it through on the table, at least I passed trying to save my life, at least I tried. That was how I felt towards that poossibilty, but I had full confidence in Dr. M and I told my mom I would see her soon.
I was wheeled down to the operating room and I went under. My recovery was amazingly smooth! I had no drains, only an IV and not much pain. I ended up not having to stay in the ICU for two days (like they planned because my weight was very high). I didn't feel as bad as I expected to, and I just let my body do its thing. I took things slow and even talked to my "baby tummy" lol! I kept a positive outlook (even though I could not wait! to get out of the hospital lol I missed my mom and she wasn't able to visit me much because she has really bad pain and at that time her legs were on a crazy cramp outrage, so I didn't bother or expect her to come to the hospital).
I remember being finally able to drink (I was dying of thirst! haha I wasn't hungry, I just wanted a big cup of water. But I wasn't allowed to until I could pass gas.) I finally was able to move gas and I got super excited and told my nurse and she let Dr. M know and he came right away and asked what kind of Gatorade I wanted lol! I was SO happy to be able to drink! I ended up drinking a whole bottle and then a small pouch of coconut juice, over the day. It felt good! Dr. M is fantastic. Truly amazing man! He was so kind and caring! I miss him and all my nurses! I keep in touch with them and send them pictures, I remember watching music videos with my nurse and I taught her some English and wrote words and definitions in her little book of English she was making. I also keep in touch with my lovely travel agent in the lower 48, sending her pictures and updates.
I remember the physical therapist lady always smelled so good, and even though I dreaded doing my walking laps I loved when she came to visit because I did't like the smell of the hospital lol!
So overall I loved Brazil. I took things slow and was soon on my way home. I finally didn't feel this lingering "doom", I finally felt.....Free.
And so I have just been loving my DS ever since.
Now in my life I feel like I can do anything, I have high expectations for myself because my obesity is no longer holding me back as much. I am still pretty big but that's ok, I know my DS is still working and I am still doing what I need to do. While I was at my biggest I wasn't able to do school, so I did online classes, something happened with the home school program computer system and they lost my grades and refused to give me my credits so I am still in high school just finishing up my last year. I go to a public school now, that I found right after getting home. It's wonderful because at that time I was still healing, and I couldn't go to a normal school everyday but this school has a flexible schedule and I love it.
I currently have straight A's and I only have a couple classes to finish and I graduate!
Some wow's!:
-Before surgery I wanted to be able to drive SO bad, but I could not fit. Now that I am 141 pounds down I started taking drivers ed and today I got my license!!!
I fit!!!!-I can wear regular size flats!! My feet no longer look pudgy and weird in flats! they look like normal people feet! I love flats!!
-Me and my younger sister share some clothing (shes a lot smaller then me, but some things fit her lol! if that makes sense)
-I go on a bike ride at least once a day, and go on walks all the time! I love them!
-I can stand for so long now.
Now some pictures!
Before: ahhhh. lol.
A couple months ago:
And now!:
I love my life. I love my DS and I love you guys! Thank you all so much!!!!!
-Jessy
ETA: Does anyone know how I can get in contact with the people who put together the OH magazine? I have a poem that my mom wants me to show them, any advice is appreciated!
Hello, my name is Jessica 
I'm 20 and I got my DS!! check out my page.
I love my DS!!!!
sw(535)/cw(220)/goal (?)
Wanna learn about the DS? Come to the DS forum or check out these websites:
http://www.dsfacts.com/ OR http://www.duodenalswitch.com/
I'm 20 and I got my DS!! check out my page. I love my DS!!!!
sw(535)/cw(220)/goal (?)Wanna learn about the DS? Come to the DS forum or check out these websites:
http://www.dsfacts.com/ OR http://www.duodenalswitch.com/
Jessy!
I am so, so proud of you! I wanted to cry while I was reading your post. The pain that comes from the rejection we feel is almost unbearable. I am so happy that you found a way to give yourself this new life. I hope all the best things in life come to you.... because you, my dear girl, are worth it.
Congratulations on your success!!!
I am so, so proud of you! I wanted to cry while I was reading your post. The pain that comes from the rejection we feel is almost unbearable. I am so happy that you found a way to give yourself this new life. I hope all the best things in life come to you.... because you, my dear girl, are worth it.
Congratulations on your success!!!
kathie09
Oh, sweetie. You've gone and made me cry!!!! Your story is such an inspiration. You are a truly powerful woman. Congratulations on your surgiversary! BTW, I love love love the Kanye graphic. It made me laugh so loudly my coworkers turned their heads. lol
As far as OH magazine, you can contact the Editor in Chief:
As far as OH magazine, you can contact the Editor in Chief:
|
|
Oh sweet sweet Jessy!
As I sit here thinking that I'm the only person in the world who's going to fail their DS, you come along to kick me in the ass!
Girl, you look & sound amazing. You are an incredible success story. I know your uncle is running around all over heaven bragging about you!
As I sit here thinking that I'm the only person in the world who's going to fail their DS, you come along to kick me in the ass!
Girl, you look & sound amazing. You are an incredible success story. I know your uncle is running around all over heaven bragging about you!
~shannon
"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." ~E. Roosevelt
(Ticker includes 11 pounds lost in pre-op diet.)
"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." ~E. Roosevelt
(Ticker includes 11 pounds lost in pre-op diet.)
Jessy! 
I wish I could give you that hug in person. You are such a beautiful young woman, and a major inspiration to me.
Thank you for sharing this very personal update. It made me cry (and then the Kanye macro at the end made me LMAO). I am so, beyond thrilled for you that you are doing so well with your DS and that your life has taken such a radical change for the better. I can't imagine the courage it must have taken to travel so far and undergo such a major surgery at your age, but you found the strength and did what you needed to do.
I appreciate your contributions to this board and the fact that you continue to pay it forward. To answer your question about OH magazine, there is a page about how to submit stuff here: www.obesityhelp.com/magazine/submissions.html.
Jenna
I wish I could give you that hug in person. You are such a beautiful young woman, and a major inspiration to me.
Thank you for sharing this very personal update. It made me cry (and then the Kanye macro at the end made me LMAO). I am so, beyond thrilled for you that you are doing so well with your DS and that your life has taken such a radical change for the better. I can't imagine the courage it must have taken to travel so far and undergo such a major surgery at your age, but you found the strength and did what you needed to do.
I appreciate your contributions to this board and the fact that you continue to pay it forward. To answer your question about OH magazine, there is a page about how to submit stuff here: www.obesityhelp.com/magazine/submissions.html.
Jenna
Most Active
Recent Topics
