Balancing out the "numbers" and what you see in the mirror.

I'm amazed that I can still weigh so much, and see "big numbers" on the measuring tape, but still like what I see in the mirror, and have people tell me I look "normal."

I'm 5'4" and weigh about 175.  My measurements are 42-37-44.  Not small, not even normal.  In fact, I'm still in the "obese" BMI category.  Mostly, I wear a size 16, occasionally a 14 or 18.

I'm at the point where losing more weight means immediately more jiggly, wiggly skin.  I'd really like to weigh in the 160's, or whatever it takes to fit easily into most size 14's --many clothing manufacterers don't even go up to a size 16, so what I'm thinking here is that it will open up my options for clothing.

It's so hard to abandon the numbers and believe what the mirror tells you!  I guess that's because it's hard to believe what the mirror is telling me, too, or maybe it just doesn't sink in.  Sometimes I say to a friend or relative, "Stand next to me in the mirror," so I can compare what I look like compared to them.  Not so I can criticize myself, but because I can't seem to comprehend how big (or little) I am.  I usually end up saying those miraculous words, "I'm not that much bigger than you are." 

I'm 56, so being a single digit size doesn't seem realistic, or necessary.  I just don't think it would look good on me.  I like my curves, my roundness, I think I just look healthy.  There are a few places I wish weren't so lumpy, but I can't be sure I would lose in those places if I take off more weight.

Is there  anyone out there who successfully "abandoned the numbers" and found a "look" that made them happy?  I don't want to seek the impossible.  I know I am "not young," and I will have a certain amount of saggy, baggy, draggy skin.  I will not seek a lot of plastic surgery, although I am considering a breast lift.

Guess I'm just struggling with the head games most people have who lose weight,

pp

I really wish I could feel as good about how I look as my husband feels.  He says I just don't see how much I have changed.  He tries so hard to compliment me all the time. 

I am ok as long as I don't look at myself Naked .  When I was young I collected the California rasins and glued them to the dash of my car.  I loved them but I never thought I would look like one lol. 

Carla

you.. glued raisins to the dash of your car???  

HEY!!! Don't know how old you are,... LOL but I had the GUYS on my dash as well!!! haha what a memory.

48, they were a hit back in the day lol. 

The last time I was in this size (mostly 12s with an occasional 10 at 5'7") I weighed 10 - 15 pounds less than I do now.  I've been told that being obese makes our bones and even some organs weigh more.  Then there's the extra skin.  So the scale can definitely be misleading.

I also like how I look in clothes a lot better than how I look naked!  I will be pursuing plastics in the future, but that's scary (and expensive!) too.

I also "forget" how small I am now.  I went to a water park with my husband on Thursday and when I came out of the bathroom stall and saw myself in my bathing suit in the mirror it actually startled me.  I looked skinny!  My brain has definitely NOT caught up with my body yet.

I think your looking at yourself in the mirror with a friend is probably a good exercise to help you gauge your true size right now and maybe to grasp it better.

Hang in there!  I assume our minds will catch up eventually...

yes, maybe eventually we'll get used to the new "us." 

Size 12!  I am jealous because you will fit in so many more clothes than I do...

pp

Hey Nancy, 

I think your avatar looks wonderful.  You look healthy and happy.  I'm 5'11" 61 yrs old and weigh 157 to 160.  OMG Nancy, I am thin but saggy, baggy, draggy skin everywhere.  I did have a minor face lift because everyone thought with my saggy face I was mad all the time.  I look good in clothes but holy hell Nancy once those clothes come off its not a pretty sight.  I wear 3/4 length sleeves and NO shorts.  I wear a padded bra simply because there just isn't anything there.  I'd have a breast lift but nothin to lift.  I wear a size 6 or 8 bottoms and size L or M tops.  I would love this weight except for my saggy skin. 

I think you look great just as you are.  Have you kind of settled into a weight?  I think you look really, really good now. D................

well, Dar, that is so sweet of you to say.  I thought I had stopped losing weight but I buckled down to low carbing it and have taken off 10 more lbs. I think I will try to get down to 165 to see what that looks like. 

Just talking/writing about this online helps me realize I need to go for a LOOK, not a "number."  Thanks so much for posting your experience,

nan

I have no idea how long it takes for your mind to catch up to the numbers or a reflection in the mirror. I wonder if it ever will. Sometimes I catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror and think "holy **** I've lost a ton of weight!"  Other times I see myself just as SMO as I always was. I see the scale at 183 and it doesn't compute to being a good weight. I figure one day it's not going to matter what I see... it's only going to matter how I feel.

Friends and family tell me how thin I am...how if I lose any more weight I'll disappear and I just happened to be feeling bloated and fat as usual. My PCP told me I looked gaunt, and that was on a day I felt pretty. *lol* The girl trimming my hair asked about my hair loss and how the texture has changed, and here I was thinking my hair loss was slowing. So there ya go. Perceptions and expectations suck ass. I'm better off just letting things be and wait to see what happens next instead of trying to analyze it. I can't win!