Balancing out the "numbers" and what you see in the mirror.

oKay I am 53.
I am happy with my weight I was 5'10inches when younger and 5'91/2 now, big boned wear a size womans 11 1/2 to 12 shoe. I got too low after all my plastics and not being able to exercise. I did not look healthy at the weight that gave me a normal BMI. I was skin and bones, no boobs ( seriously I was wearing falsies to fill out an A cup), no ass flat, but my thighs were still wrinkley saddle-bags.

Once I got the okay to start exercising I put back on 15 lbs in one year all muscle and it was good.  Then I did have some regain in year 3-4. I have since settled in at 192-196. I love how I look now. I have back my bust ( B cup)and butt. Now along with those filling out unfortunately my thighs filled back out as well. Now they are bigger than I would prefer but they are fuller not flappy skin anymore- they are just my body type.

I am comfortable in my skin, and I better be as one of my two main jobs is running the YWCA pool and I am in a bathing suit teaching two one hour clases almost daily. I strut around in my bathing suit just fine.

I only weigh every couple of months I use my clothes as a guide. I am wearing the same outfits for the last 4 years. I have pants in sizes from 10-16 in my closet and all fit. I could care less what the tag says. I am straight through the hip and waist so some brands (talbot, lands end) if they fit in the waist will be huge through the hips and thighs. They are made for the barbie figure with the hourglass shape-not me! But give me a pair of jeans cut lower on the hips and I am one to two sizes smaller.

I personally did not look better at the normal BMI and I love how I look at a 28 BMI.

Amanda, thank you thank you thank you for posting this.  It really helps me get over the fixation with numbers, whether it's those on the scale, as a BMI,  or on the size of my clothing.

When you regain at year 3-4, did you feel you had increased your eating and carbs, or were you eating the same and just gained weight?  It's not quite clear to me why people "bounceback." 

thanks again,

nan

Oh, I know exactly what you mean. I have big issues with this, too.

The comparing your friend in the mirror thing?  I used to do that all the time with my sister, until I found out she was really pissed off at me for comparing myself to her.  In my mind, she looked pretty normal sized (maybe slightly overweight), and I used to want to compare to see how far I had to go to even approach looking like her.  However, in her mind, I am the same size or smaller than she is and she thought I was just showing off all the time.  Seriously.  Unfortunately, she's not even speaking to me now over this.

I had something else happen today while shopping for clothes.  I picked out a size 14 suit and the sales woman put it in the dressing room for me.  I ended up not liking the way it looked on me and told her it was too boxy.  She then told me she questioned why I had a 14 because she thought I was a 10.  (I thought she was delusional!)  She had me try on the 10 and it fit....all but across my stomach.  For me, I think I focus on the negative aspects of my body (poochy tummy, hanging skin)....instead of the positive parts (I freakin' fit (almost) in a size 10!)

I also think we look differently now at our weights than we did in the past because of heavier bone structure, etc.  I have heard that several times.  That, vanity sizing, and rapidly changing bodies can really screw up our self perceptions.

Well, I hear ya.

I never set a goal weight.  I didn't want the pressure that a final "goal" weight would put on me or the familiar feeling of failure I'd feel if I didn't reach that arbitrary number.  I figured I'd stop where I was happy and leave it at that.

So that's what I did.  I stopped at 152.  I fluctuate a bit, going up and down between 148 and 153.  I'm ok with that, since my ass fits into a size 4 jeans/skirts, and I wear a size 8 dress. (damn big rack!)  What has always bothered me, though, is that my BMI is a 25-point-something in that weight range, which means that I'm still "moderately overweight."  All I can say is "FUCK the BMI scale!" because there's no way I look overweight.

Big bones.  Big, heavy, plutonium bones is my excuse.  I don't mind if you use it.