The Ups and Downs of Today
Hey Girl!
As someone who was an only child and caretaker of both parents through their cancers and end of life, I know being in your situation is rough.
Sadly, people get to a point in their life where they don't like ANY of the options available. My father, for instance, at the end of his illness wanted to be home but did NOT want 24 hour care (which thankfully, he could afford). I was a wife and mother and could not physically care for him 24/7, so, he HAD to have a caretaker. He finally did realize it, when he came home from the hospital with C-Diff and I had to "clean him up" several times, a task that was hard on me physically b/c of my weight but torture for him mentally b/c the last thing he wanted me to do was clean up his private parts!
You are in a similar situation. Your husband (understandably) likes none of the options available to him. The option he truly wants is not to have Parkinsons. You have to be the decision maker here. As hard as it is, the decision to send him to daycare will be better on your relationship than you overtaxing yourself and being his main caregiver, all the time. He needs you to love and not resent him. He needs you as a wife first, not a nursemaid first, in the same way my father needed me as a daughter more than an aide.
You are running a marathon, not a sprint. You need time to rest, knowing he is safe and well cared for. You need time to relax and recharge so you can be his loving wife, first and foremost.
I am sorry you are in such a rough spot, and for your husbands illness. Do what you need to stay healthy and sane - for both of you!
Christy
As someone who was an only child and caretaker of both parents through their cancers and end of life, I know being in your situation is rough.
Sadly, people get to a point in their life where they don't like ANY of the options available. My father, for instance, at the end of his illness wanted to be home but did NOT want 24 hour care (which thankfully, he could afford). I was a wife and mother and could not physically care for him 24/7, so, he HAD to have a caretaker. He finally did realize it, when he came home from the hospital with C-Diff and I had to "clean him up" several times, a task that was hard on me physically b/c of my weight but torture for him mentally b/c the last thing he wanted me to do was clean up his private parts!
You are in a similar situation. Your husband (understandably) likes none of the options available to him. The option he truly wants is not to have Parkinsons. You have to be the decision maker here. As hard as it is, the decision to send him to daycare will be better on your relationship than you overtaxing yourself and being his main caregiver, all the time. He needs you to love and not resent him. He needs you as a wife first, not a nursemaid first, in the same way my father needed me as a daughter more than an aide.
You are running a marathon, not a sprint. You need time to rest, knowing he is safe and well cared for. You need time to relax and recharge so you can be his loving wife, first and foremost.
I am sorry you are in such a rough spot, and for your husbands illness. Do what you need to stay healthy and sane - for both of you!
Christy
Nancy, I just wanted to let you know that I feel for you. My dad had Alzheimer's at a very young age (mid 60's), and it got to the point where my mom and I couldn't take care of him 24/7. We had him at an adult day care center, and it was wonderful for a while. Then they couldn't handle him anymore, and we had to make a decision between my mom's health, and my dad. He did end up going into a nursing home for a while. Its just not something to feel guilty about. You can't possibly do all that is necessary and still be well yourself.
Take care, and YAY on the clothes. Don't worry about the stupid Limited store. I bet everything in there fits you. Me and my daughter went to the Gap last weekend and I was not only wearing their stuff, but I was actually on the smaller end of their sizes. Just do it ;)
Take care, and YAY on the clothes. Don't worry about the stupid Limited store. I bet everything in there fits you. Me and my daughter went to the Gap last weekend and I was not only wearing their stuff, but I was actually on the smaller end of their sizes. Just do it ;)
* Take 1 DS, add a little p90x and stir :)5' 3" HW 293/SW 253/Goal 130/CW 128
You basically already said it...like when you drop off a kindergartner for the first time. Often they don't want to go back to school for several days or weeks but parents offer reassurance and take them back each day. Eventually they adjust. So will your husband. It's better than a nursing home!
Hugs!
Lisa
Hugs!
Lisa
I think there are some things you may not have looked into ...Forgive me if I have missed some info along the way...
1. Would he allow you to set up visiting friends/veterans/church folk?
2. Visiting Nurses
3. Home Health Aide's and even cheaper...Companions
4. There are some programs in certain areas that enable a college students to live for free in exchange for some companion services
5. Contact the Parkinson's Association for a social worker and some free care
6. Have friends help w/ meals 3 x per week to take some of the pressure off
7. I don't know how advanced your husbands condition but it sounds like he severely debilitated...Has your MD given you a prognosis...sometimes Hospice programs provide the most extensive care available if he fits their criteria....Make sure its a non profit organization.
Hope one of these ideas might help....Congrats w/ your Health!
Linda
1. Would he allow you to set up visiting friends/veterans/church folk?
2. Visiting Nurses
3. Home Health Aide's and even cheaper...Companions
4. There are some programs in certain areas that enable a college students to live for free in exchange for some companion services
5. Contact the Parkinson's Association for a social worker and some free care
6. Have friends help w/ meals 3 x per week to take some of the pressure off
7. I don't know how advanced your husbands condition but it sounds like he severely debilitated...Has your MD given you a prognosis...sometimes Hospice programs provide the most extensive care available if he fits their criteria....Make sure its a non profit organization.
Hope one of these ideas might help....Congrats w/ your Health!
Linda
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