So lost and off track

Thank you so much Jennifer.

A couple of my nurse freinds told me Monday morning that they had been concerned about me for a couple weeks that I was just not myself and so angry and negative.  Also I stopped anwering my phone and using my FB etc.  I just didn't want to see outside or ppl. 

That is completely not me and when I did not want to got to the beach I know something was wrong with me.  I was embarrassed but I called my PCP and went to see her right away.  I hope this Celexa works for me. 

Carla

Carla, I just wanted to give you my support.

Life throws so much at us, don't beat yourself up! Depression is a trigger for me as well and as I have said on another thread.
Life is what happens when your back is turned and your looking in another direction!
I decided to live by the motto my Gran loved "Everyone gets a do-over!"
Girl, take yours and run with it! and remember you get as many as you need!

{{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}}
Sue

Sue I send ((((Hugs)))) back at ya.  I am a fighter and I will get back up.  I just hated it that I had to get some help in the form of a pill cause I hate pills. 

I hope I come out of this soon.  I do feel like I feel off the wagon and took a long nap and the wagon is miles away from me. 

Carla

from personal experience I can tell you it may take a few weeks for the anti-depressant to kick in and sometimes they dont help and you need to change to another one. You have to be patient with the process with those too unfortunately. With any luck this one will work! Dont beat yourself up if/when you need a little comfort food during hard times of stress temporarly either!

Yea I know but this is day 3 and I think I woke up in a better place.  My PCP thinks 10 days should make a difference.  We will just have to see. 

Carla

So now I have to really watch what the heck is going on with this. 

See how smart you are, Carla.  Recognizing the problem is half of the battle.  I'm sorry you are having a rough time and sorry, also, to hear about your Dad.  I had some stress and resulting issues this past summer, so I know it can be tough.  But I got through it, and now have started a walking program.  It really makes you feel better even in all this heat we have been having lately.  Weren't you walking the San Carlos bridge?  Was that the one?

-Jenny 

Yep Jenny San Carlos Mantanza pass every AM.  I stopped back in Oct because I was back and forth to Ohio.  Now I can barely get my A$$ out of bed to walk the garbage to the dumpster.  I drove over to McDonalds this AM instead of walking to have a small plain oatmeal with butter and a stevia with my decaff coffee with 1/2 & 1/2 and one stevia. 

I figured if I could just get up and go outside and right now I am sitting here looking at the Gulf.  It is a little chilly this AM but will warm up later.  I have to volunteer tonight in ER and I vow to not miss that no matter how low I feel.  I will push thru this.

For the love of God I live in paradise, how can I be depressed.

Carla

Carla,

I think you are doing so good, and so many things right!  You asked for help when you realized things weren't right and that it wasn't just working through stress.  I've heard the advice about depression, "fake it 'till you make it."  And, I think this morning you did just that - so smart!  Basically, by getting out of bed and doing those things which have given you pleasure (sitting watching the Gulf), you support yourself being able to feel good and experience pleasure.  That today you drove instead of walked is just fine.  The important thing is that it's an improvement - you aren't huddled in the dark in your house.  You're in the light outside with fresh air and taking the first steps back into the routine you enjoyed before.  You're doing great!  Next up, walk outside - sometime this week... maybe just 5 minutes if you can't face more than that.  Things will get better inside you. 

Elia you are so kind

I am doing exactly what you have suggested.  I did call off tonight because my whole body hurts from depression and the fact the Celexa is causing a bit of runs.  I am OK though, I tried to take a nap but have been interupted all day by the phone. 

You are so right if 5 mins is all I can face than thats what I will do.  I want to take my dogs for a walk this evening when hubby gets home.  My dogs are suffering from my depression also. 

Carla

You CAN get back on track, and you've already taken the first step, Carla.     I have only had one major bout of depression in my life that required medication, and I hope I'm NEVER hit with anything like that again!    I thoroughly know where you're coming from when you stated that you started cutting everybody off.   I quit answering the phone, answering the door, and I dreaded going to bed every night, fearing that I would have to face the next day.     My gosh, just remembering that feeling makes me shudder.   To this day, I am incapable of going back to bed after getting up in the morning, because it reminds me of how I'd get up, manage to get my kids off to school, then go back to bed, crying, not wanting to face another day.     Meds definitely helped, but I was equally as happy to be free of them too.

The fact that you are getting up in the morning and forcing yourself to go somewhere is something I also did to get myself back on track, and it really helped.   If you can, try to get yourself off to an exercise class first thing.   That, probably more than anything else, got me over the hump.

Getting yourself off the full-sugar soda might be all it takes to get the scale moving downward again.   I remember how triumphant and positive your earlier posts were - I can't wait to see you feeling that way about yourself again!  Good luck, hun.