So lost and off track

((((HUGS)))) to you Marci, thank you so much for your kind words.  I had a fairly good day yesterday.  I did walk the dogs for 20 min with my hubby.  I slept fairly well last night.  I am up this AM and I am noticing that I don't feel the need to munch every other minute. 

I set down and wrote all the negitive and positive things that have happened in the past 6 months and wow I did not have hardly anything positive on my paper.  My husband looks at me and says "honey you really have been thru Hell". 

Oh, well, It is in the past and one day at a time I will pull me back together.  God must have been doing some serious work and life will get better eventually.  I do have hope.  I have the sweats from the Celexa now lol or maybe its a hot flash but that too will pass. 

I am lucky to have all of you guys to vent and cry too.  I have cut back on the consumtion of diet decaff MD but I will not give it up. 

Carla

Carla,
  You can do this.  Just one day at a time.  It is NEVER too late.  You will get back on track.  My mom passed two years ago in Feb right before her 80 birthday and I too flew back and fourth to take care of her.  It is really tough and I miss her as much today as I did when she passed.  It does get easier but still hard.  Take a deep breath and don't be so hard on yourself.  We all backslide at certain times in our lives but you can get back on track.  You have already taken a big step to get back on track so don't minimize it.  If you want to talk PM me and I will send you my cell number.  Keep your head up and go forward.  Try not to look back it is too hard. 
Terry

Terry you are always there when I need you. 

After losing my brother age 29 to a drunk driver, my sister at 40 4 years ago to a heart attack, I really thought I was a pro at greiving but losing Dad hit me hard in the gut.  All I have left for immediate family now is Mom, my two children and my husband.  I suddenly felt my whole world shrinking. 

I am a fighter tho and I will get this right.  I am so glad I could just come here and let it all out.  Today has been 2 steps forward and 1 step back but thats an improvment over yesterday by far.  I could not face my volunteer shift tonight so I called off after working on myself all day not to do that.  Oh, well, one day at a time is how I will have to do this. 

Funny thing is, all my friends and family knew I was depressed before I did and just did not know how to tell me.  But a couple of my friends that are nurses steped up and told me I needed to see my PCP cause I am a heart disease pt and they felt this stress was hurting me physically and they were right. 

Carla