Still hanging in there depression really does hurt.

Hi, just wanted to let you guys know that I am hanging in there, this is day 4 on Celexa.  I have had little bit diarhea and this AM profuse sweating that lasted about 15 min.  I set in front of a fan thinking that maybe this was a hot flash but in fact it is a side effect of Celexa. 

Yesterday I had no desire for munchies and did very well, walked the dogs 20 min which was all I could face.  Still not wanting to be around ppl much but did stay dressed and up all day. 

Today I am allowing myself comfort food and at the same time drawing out a plan to start weekly weigh ins and measurements while using the Bite and Vites here on OH.  I am back to doing the syntrax protein because our temp outside is rising and this makes sure I am getting my water and protein in at the same time.

It is a one day at a time battle.  I only broke down and cried once today so far.  I don't feel so doomed today and I hope this continues to improve.  Depression is serious and real.  I can sit here and say not me all day but that is just BS because I am human and I have been thru hell over the past 6 months.  I realize that I have to go thru the stages of breivement so now I am letting it happen.

I have got to get the ball rolling again so I can get these hernia's taken care of and a pani removal and graduate from college so I can better take care of my mother who will need lots of care in the next few years. 

Thank you guys for all the love and quick support you have given me.  OH is a band of angels of love.
Carla

I am sorry I do not know your story, it is ok to cry, sometimes it is actually a good thing when we are done.  you are getting protein and water that is a great step.  sounds like you have a lot coming up, hernias, panni removal, college graduating, do the best you can, and be good to yourself... we are usually the worse critics.....

Thank you so much, my doctor told me this AM that I had to let myself greive the loss of my dad, my sister and brother because for some reason I didn't take that time and just took care of everyone else and not myself. 

But I am in the beginning of learning and taking charge again.

Carla

Big hugs Carla! I'm glad you are feeling a little better now. Just take it one day at a time. We are here for you whenever you need to talk. And I look forward to seeing you in Bites & Vites.

Thank you Kathy
I paid for my comfort food day dearly last night and very early morning lol.  I quess you can say I am officially cleaned out lol. 

I am up and hoping for a productive day.  I will use this week end to write my plan done and Start Monday. 

Carla

Hi Sweetheart,

Depression hurts so bad.  I get bouts of it that are so bad, I don't want to shower, I don't want to move, I just want to sleep, because time heals and time moves faster when I sleep through it (pure bull**** but I've convinced myself of that.)

I hope you feel better.  One day at a time. 

Yea Janie I thought if I could sleep through this when I woke up it will all be gone but that does not seem to happen for me. 

I am trying to see more good than bad out of the day.  I just want my sould on fire and running like I was a few months ago.  I was unstoppable.  I did walk the dogs again last night and I believe its helping them too.  They are so sad when mommy does feel good. 

Carla

{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}.

((((Hugs)))) back at ya, Thanks

 One foot in front of the other, baby girl.