Eating Disorder - Yeah, I have one

If I hit the jackpot, I'll hook you up with his brother.

Something that stuck out to me was that you are spotting even though your period is over. You also sound like hormones are all over the place. You might want to visit your ob/gyn and have them check for endometriosis. I had 6 years of pain and constant bleeding and was being told that it was all in my head before I stumbled across an expert. He did an expoloratory laporoscopy and found that I was covered in endometriosis.

Thi****s each individual differently but I can tell you there were days that I would just as soon slap someone rather than talk to them. Other times, I would be sobbing for no reason (and anyone close to me knows that I HATE to cry). Due to the hormanal shifts in your body, you may also get major food cravings.

I am not a doctor, just someone who suffered without help for 6 years, went through 2 six month treatments which medically induced menopause, and then had a full hystorectomy after my son was born. You sound a lot like I did back then so maybe it would be worth looking into.

Just a note, endo doesn't always show up on ultrasounds, etc... Mine never showed up until he did the laporoscopy and I was covered in it. Also, some people have one dot of endo and are in major pain, and others are covered in it and have no pain. Each person is a unique case.

Please check out all avenues because this may be something other than a food issue but may be giving you a "side effect" of wanting to eat.

Good luck, and don't give up.

Aleta

Thank you Aleta.  Though I kind of wish I had something clinically wrong with me that could be treated, I have a feeling I don't.    But I am due to see my OBGYN so I'll bring it up. Thank you!

Janine,
I am finding myself posting to this again...I think because so many of us have identified with those negative outside influences even if they are within our family.... Unfortunately we can not choose our family... but sometimes we need to love people from a distance...I think that as overweight or obese people... we are used to putting everyone in front of ourselves... I know that I am guilty of that... wanting to please people...

When you are feeling bad it would be easy to let these negative people and thoughts and ideas into your head... instead try to turn it into something positive for yourself (I know that this is hard)....
* Take a walk
*Put your Ipod on
*Write in your journal
*Do something (none food related) that makes you happy and feel good
*Read a book...
*Go to the park
*Take a ride to the water
*Meditate...

I am giving advice that I am trying to learn how to take myself... I have abused myself with food for so long...and at the end of the day... the only one that is effected by this or hurt by this is me...We have to fight for ourselves....
Even though I am still pre-op I want to try to work these issues because I know that the surgery is not going to take these issues away.... I identify so much with you... I am moved by the fact that when we are in the mists of these situations... we don't put ourselves first.... Janine... I am challenging... you and myself and who ever is having the same issues... to start to put ourselves first....WE ARE SOOOOOO WORTH IT!!!!

I bought a book today that I will be spending my free time reading.  It's called Toxic Parents.  Barnes and Noble carried it.  I'm going to study it and hope I get something out of it.

Oh Janine, you are so not alone. I've been trapped and I've been free. Free is way, way better. You WILL get there. Natch, hearing that when you're trapped doesn't mean diddly **** The thing that got me through a whole lot of trapped and miserable was telling myself, "If I can give birth with no drugs, I can stand this for a little while." That was my most intensely painful and out of control experience at the time. Find yours and create your own, "If I can stand ____, I can stand this for a while" message.

Positive affirmations usually serve to **** me off and make me very, very snarky. They do work for some, and if they work for you, Louise Hay/Hay House Publishing does them better than anyone. I recommend her highly.

I expend varying levels of energy all the time to keep the great white shark (my own personal eating demon) bound and buried. Since the DS, the main thing that keeps my face out of the carbs is the resulting flaming anus pain. OMG OW! But I know the wicked clever ******* is lurking, just waiting to slip the chains and rampage through the pantry. I have very clear memories of waiting until my then husband (the trapped part ugh) was gone for a while, making a huge pan of rice & cheese casserole - and eating the entire thing. Like eat until I hurt. And then cry because I felt such shame. I don't want to be that girl again. I don't think I will - by the grace of all the gods, a couple of real good therapists and a lot of years of growing up.

Like I said, you're not alone. *big hugs*

See, carbs do nothing for except heavy sugar gives me diarrhea.  And that's it.  I ate 4 truffles today.  It was 1 serving, but still - I didn't need them and you can be sure I have the diarrhea to prove it.

sorry you are going through this the emotions are really intense the first year out, hormone dumping, body images changes, the way other react to the change you are going through.

if you have stuffed emotions down with food for years it can be really really painful to deal with them without your drug of choice(food) please stay in close touch with the therapist

we are all rooting for you

Thank you Amanda.  My therapist is on speed-dial.

I don't post often as I have little to say as I won't be having the DS until late this fall.  But I have been on here for a couple of months and I want you to know that you are one of the people who I enjoy reading and following.  You are a real person who like most of us is not totally perfect.  None of us have perfect lives.  But don't lose hope, believe in yourself.  I have been where you are, just believe that tomorrow is going to be a better day.  Take care and I wish you well.  Melissa    Be well.