How did you deal with the loss of food?
I swear, my mind is consumed with having the surgery. I dream of a day when I can walk more then 5 minutes without feeling like my hips and feet are burning off. A day when people dont even notice me walk in a room. Or better yet notice me for something other than my size.
As I sit and think about this stuff day in and day out I can not help but wonder how I will deal with the loss of my best friend...... food.
I have one thing I love, to eat so much that I eat it untill I litteraly can not breath (Sushi at Pacific Rim). I could not go to this place and eat a piece or two, it would not be the same.
I do not even have insurance yet and I am already morning the loss of this meal.
How do you all do it? What has it been like? I know people say, "well if you do that you will be sick". To that I say " yes but I get sick NOW when I do that".
There really is no other food that makes me so sad to think of not eating.
Thank you all for letting me ask my questions, I am so eager to hear from those who have first hand experiance.
Lori, I love sushi and sashimi at 2 years out. I can eat more than 2 pieces, but I didn't have this surgery to eat what I did before, but in smaller quantities. I had the surgery to get healthy and make better food choices.
Now that I've been at goal for several months (nearly a year in fact) I find that sushi and sashimi IS a good food choice, it goes down well, I avoid most of the rice, so what's left is good protein.
As for mourning food, you will as I did and we all do. We use food for different things other than just nourishment. It may well be that you have to have some counseling after surgery to deal with your food issues. I can tell you that the first year will be FULL of changes in your body and in your mind and hopefully, most of all, in your behavior.
Good luck!
Jan
Your feelings are valid. When I went to my nutritional class and saw the amts of food I would eat or thought it was always gonna be soft foods I was freaking out quietly - but then when I realized that after 6 months I will be able to slowly get back to the foods I love - I took a deep breath of relieve. The thing that happened afterwards was that my food tastes changed. There are many foods that don't attract me anymore but there are others that are there that I eat. And there are foods that are there than I CAN eat but need to stay away from which are primarily the bad carbs. Having the RNY and punishment helps me make better choices. Initially it will be hard for the first couple months as you recover from the healing process, then you get into losing the weight but eventually as a lesson learned you will need to stay on track and focused on eating healthier foods. It's not about giving up foods but making better choices so that you can continue your journey for a lifetime. Best of luck in starting the process.
I think the question what's more important the sushi or your health? I am not trying to be unkind....for this is a question I've asked myself. When I realized I was addicted to food I was really shocked! Just think about it. Mourning over food of all things. I was astounded at myself. Food had such control over me, to not eat a browinie or chocolate chip cookies warm from the oven. This is where counselling is good, and accountability and support groups. It takes time to see our addictions for what they are.
I'd encourage you to not plan on eating these foods again.....even stay away from them. And 8-9 months post op, perhaps you might try one. Like and alcholic the food we like the best may be our worst nemesis. (I think I used the right word).
Work on changing your thought process.For in reality, food is not our best friend, it has hurt us, isolated us, caused us health problems, and made people make nasty remarks behind our backs and sometimes to our faces.
Now food is a necessity. I like the taste, but it doesn't have the control over me like it once had. For the first time in my life Iam called "tiny", 'small" . I feel and look great. And Lori, no sushi or chocolate cookie can compare to that. Nor can it compare to me being able to say "no". This surgery gave me the tool, I couldn't eat a cookie if I wanted to because dumping was and is such a terrible experince. I am glad for dumping....it keeps me away from what is bad for me. Never have I made browinies and not liked the spoon or scooped batter from the bowl, untill now. I think about it, almost do it out of habit, and wash my hands and the bowl, and I am happy. i don't even miss it. That makes me feel good inside.
I'm rambeling. Just my thoughts. I pray you will find the courage and strength and support you need through this journey. I know if you put your mind to it, and fight for yourself with every ounce of your being you can beat this battle with food and make this surgery a successful tool!
blessings, Tami
It's like which is more important to you being able to walk 5 minutes without pain or being able to gorge yourself on sushi? I mean when you realize hey self, I can negotiate and still have sushi and be pain free...I just have to only have 3 or 4 pieces of su****hen what a deal. I don't have to completely deprive myself of what I love...then it does seem do able and less harsh. I have been in therapy now for over a year. To me I have my eating under control, I just still have other self esteem and personal issues from years of being overweight that I need to work though. Yes, I'm still MO but I'm still working on losing weight and I don't feel like I turn to food when faced with problems at an abnormal rate. Just recently I was saying how I didn't trust any man who wanted to date me at 502, yet I wouldn't trust a man who wanted to date me at 120, because I would think they were just for looks either way (chubby chasers at 502, etc.). So she wanted me to pro/con what having a man love me at 502 would be...and all could put was love me for me...and she thought I would have put...eat all I want, not worry about my weight..and that never crossed my mind. I feel like now I can eat anything I want, I know the price of it. It will slow my weight loss down so I have to ask myself if it's worth it...and usually it's not. Yesteryday was my birthday, I had a cupcake...it was worth it...I'm 3 years out...during the first year, I only had a no-sugar added peanut butter cookie on my birthday. About 2 weeks ago, I thought about going to Cold Stone Creamery but I wanted to share a small with my roommate, she didn't want any so I thought about it and decided not to go, usually I get a free coupon for my birthday, I figure that would be good enough, well I didn't get that coupon for some reason...oh well, don't really miss it. It's my decision to not have the food I do not have...no one keeping me from it. I'm allowed and can have anything...I choose otherwise...because it's not worth it. My life is worth more.
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