Do Not Have a Surrogate Any Suggestions???

Hi All~~ I am in the process of pre-op testing. My surgeon is adamant about having a surrogate to attend the meetings and then have that person to help me out for the first 2 weeks after the surgery. Unfortunately, I do not have anyone that fits that bill. My family is in NJ; and no one is able to help. I live in West Palm Beach. I have all my appointments setup and will start the Pre-Op Support Meetings this coming Tuesday. Because of my situation; Dr. Byers is only insisting that I get someone to come with me for one set of the meetings. Has anyone been in a similar situation; and if so what did you do? Also, providing that Dr. Byers will allow me to get by without bringing a surrogate to the meetings; how has anyone handled coming home alone and taking care of themselves? I can arrange for transportation to and from the hospital. I have neighbors that I can count on to bring me groceries and walk my dog; but that is about it. I contacted Medicaid and am waiting to hear back from them; as far as services they can provide for home health aide. Any experiences with that? I'd appreciate any info that can be provided. Sure sucks to feel this alone.

Andrea, I am so sorry to hear of your struggle. I would love to help you out--but I live in Orlando. I wish I had an answer for you, or some way I could help you. There's no way a family member could fly down and help you? Just a thought. I really think you'd be better off to have someone there for you when you come home from the hospital. Easier said then done, right? Keep us posted on what happens withyou. We are all hear for you on the board.

There's no way a family member could fly down and help you? Just a thought. Hi Amy~~ Thanks for replying to my post. My Mom is too weak at 85 to make the trip; and my 2 sons are working and can't take the time off. This is really hitting me hard...just the thought that I really am alone. It's not a good feeling. I guess I never thought about it until I really needed to depend on someone.

where in west palm? i live in south broward... i can help ya out... ill e-mail you my phone number.. what time this tuesday and where?

Hi Alexa~~ I called and left my phone number on your answering machine. I sure didn't expect someone here to offer to go with me. It's in Miami and the classes run from 11-6 which is a very long day. I sure understand if you are unable to attend. Lap Band Class, Social Services, Pre Op Nutrition Class, Pre Op Nursing Class, Pre Op Weight Loss Class & Support Group. Since I don't have a car I go by train. Remember, I fully will understand if you are unable to attend; this is a real imposition.

Andrea, I am SOOO glad to see you on here. I have been looking for patients of Dr. Byers on here to talk with. I am seeing her for a hernia repair and have gone through all the hoops. I just moved here from Ohio in July and have no family here. She asked me who would make my medical decisions if I were unable to do so, and I told her my mother..and that she was in Ohio. At my last appointment I pointed out that while my mother would be here whenever I have surgery she could not come to my pre-op appointment, but she would be avaible by phone, and Dr. Byers said well then we might just have to call her. As for the SURROGATE...there are 2 purposes for them, 1. is to help take care of you when you are discharged and 2. to make medical decisions for you if you are unable to. Have you gone to the social service session, yet? It might be possible that you delegate a close friend or family member as your medical decision surrogate, and hire someone to help you after surgery. I remember the lady running the social service session saying some patients hire a home nurse, etc. to be their body for the meetings and appointments and to help after discharge but name a family member on their living will as the person to make medical decisions. I won't be off work in time to make it to the support meeting, but I will be at the Therapy group, but it's just for post-ops. Best wishes...and e-mail me if you have any more questions. I talk a lot in person with another Byers patient who is going to have lap-band...we often get out our frustrations with the process. Sarah Margaret

Hi Sarah~~ Like you said its good to meet another Byers patient. Thanks for giving me ideas what will and what will not work in the way of surrogates and having someone else make the medical decision. I have a good friend in Coral Springs; who has a lot going on family wise and therefore is not able to participate in the classes and unable to take care of me; however, in an emergency if I was unable to make medical decisions I know in my heart I can depend on her. No, I have not gone to social services yet; but will make an appointment ASAP. I just printed out Designation of Health Care Surrogate, and Florida Living Will; therefore I can state what I want and who I want to do it. I hope this will be enough for Dr. Byers. I also am waiting to hear from Medicaid whether they can offer either for me to go somewhere for recovery or to have someone in the home. If Dr. Byers will accept the fact that my 2 neighbors are home all day and I can depend on them to check up on me often; then that might also be a solution. Something will work out. Glad to hear from a fellow Byers patient!

Andrea, I will email you as well. I may be able to assist after your surgery. Jezzie

I am totally overwhelmed with the support offered by this board. I have had offers to go with me to the pre-op meetings and offers to help me after the surgery. Also, very kind responses to offer support. Even if nothing materializes just the idea that someone reached out to me is wonderful; and not what I expected when I made my post to the board. I was curious if others have been in my shoes. I have never felt so grateful. I too am the type to go out of my way for someone; but usually, its hard for me to accept help when its offered to me. Thank you to all of you; is just too easy to say...but my words aren't coming I'm so overwhelmed. So, thanks, thanks, and more thanks! God Bless all of you!