We will never be perfect,forgive yourself

Hey All, I am usually a lurker, just posting once in a while. I really need to add my 2 cents worth. I have noticed that recent posts and especially Susan Maria's last column have been really negative and judgemental. We are all human beings with all our faults and warts etc. We didn't get to the wt we were overnight. We all have issues with food or we wouldn't be here. I have heard of a few people that have this surgery and are never hungry again. God Bless You!! But I don't fall into that category. And there are people that can't ever tolerate sweets again, I wish I was one of those! As for taking my vitamins, I ususally take my Vista Vitamins faithfully, except when I don't have the money to buy them. I may miss a few days here and there, but I get them as soon as my budget allows. As for the food that I eat-- most of the time I am great with my pro and water, but sometimes I'm not. It is completely unrealistic to expect a person who has been overwt most of their lives to adhere to a strict diet without falling off the wagon once in a while. I beleive that you can have alcohol in moderation and sweets or carbs in moderation. It's a long life--am I never going to eat a Kit Kat again? Yes, I'll have the Kit Kat, but only one and not the whole bag. And let's say I ate the whole bag--It's over with and tomorrow is a new day. Everyone is going to slip once in a while. Forgive yourself and move on. Most of the people who have this surgery will not look like a super model. Don't expect that!!! Learn to love yourself--warts, flabby skin and all. Self loathing is a vicious cycle--I'm so fat, ugly, out of control...etc. why should I try when I know I'll fail? Then eat, eat, eat. We all should look in the mirror each day and tell ourselves that we are getting better each day. Look for the beauty and not the flaws!! God loved us when we were fat, He will love us as we try to lose the wt. He loves us when we succeed and He loves us when we fail. We all need to start really loving ourselves. God Bless, MaryKaye

VERY well SAID!!!!!!!!!! Thanks for this Post, Lori

Very true! Thanks for the affirmation that we are all good no matter what! Heather

amen!!

You are very true!!! May I ask you a question? Why did you not have your surgery here at Halifax? I had mine a week ago. They were great!!!! Hugs, Jen W.

Thanks for everyone's support! As for why I didn't have the surgery at Halifax: #1 I have United Healthcare and Dr Black does not accept it. #2 I really like Dr Black and I would trust him to take out my gallbladder, but he just does not have the experiance yet. He doesn't do many of these surgeries a week. I have friends that have gone to Gainsville, but Dr Rout only does open RNY. I picked Dr Jawad because he has done thousands of these surgeries, and his death rate and complication rate is very low. It is a shlepp to drive all that way, but it's worth it. I watched a friend of mine become the incredible shrinking woman and she raved about Dr Jawad. Also, the office workers were mostly former patients. That's truly the best endorcement. MaryKaye 250/157/102 (-93)

Mary Kaye, while I will forgive myself for slipping up, I will NEVER give myself permission to act badly. I don't feel that Susan Maria was being judgemental or negative in her monthly rant. This surgery is a tool and a wonderful gift and I stand with her and will say that some people have misused their chance. I will never give myself permission to eat sugar because I'm a diabetic and I knew going in that staying on a good vitamin regimen was a REQUIREMENT for good health and I will never give myself permission to become lax in that area. Am I perfect? No, but I'm trying as hard as I can and I'm doing what I was told to do and what I agreed that I would do. Hope this post doesn't come across as harsh, but it probably does. I assure you that I don't mean it in a harsh way. I mean to be positive and to say to us all that we CAN do it. We CAN follow the rules and we CAN take our vitamins and we CAN leave sugar alone and we CAN make the best choices for our lives and we CAN get support and we CAN be positive! Jan 240/137/115

I agree with you 100 percent! I have been thinking about this since reading recent post and trying to figure out how to respond and get across how I feel. Your words summed it all up for me. Thankyou so much for posting.

I understand perfectly what you are saying. I do the best I can every day but when I "slip", I get over it and go on. I went through a period when I didn't take my vitamins like I should but when I realized that I felt like crap I got my butt in gear and started taking them again. Taking protein shakes has been an issue because we are on a very tight budget. (I'm still on disability and Omar doesn't make much at Sears) I know I need the protein but I also know that the rent has to be paid and the power needs to be kept on. Do I get upset that some months I have no protein? You bet! Does that make me a 'failure"? Hell no! Life throws stuff at us and we have to do what's best at that moment. Right now, I have protein but I had to save to be able to buy it. Hopefully, I can continue to get it but if not I will not beat myself up about it. I did the beating up thing for way to long. We are all human and I have learned that everyone has their own ways of living life. You may not agree with me but that's ok cause I probably don't agree with you. LOL Doesn't make us bad people. Sometimes there are posts on here and other places that I don't like but I have come to realize that it's how I REACT to those posts that is what is important. Most of the time people are trying to be helpful. That said, there are people who at times probably should think before they hit that send button. I just pass by those posts/comments and go about my day. It's their opinion! They aren't walking in my shoes or living my life. As long as I can go to sleep at night knowing that I did the best I could that day for myself, flaws and all, that's the bottome line. Sincerely, Dawn Post-Op 9/23/04 399/257/200