Reactions

For all of you that have lost lots of weight, or even just starting to lose the weight, how is your family and friends reacting?

I haven't seen any of my family since April of 2008.  When I see them again I will be about 2 months out from surgery and am a little nervous how it might go.  I average about 2 visits back home per year and they are usually 6 months apart, so the second visit for the year will be in December which will put me about 10 months post op.  I think my family will be very surprised, but just curious about your experiences.

Thanks!

You know that is a great question!  I had my surgery in may of 2008 and I made sure that no one in my family saw pictures of me from then until christmas.  I see my family once a year and this past christmas was extra special!

The reactions were all over the board.  Everyone knew I had surgery and all I would do was update them with numbers (how much i'v elost and how much i currently weigh).

I walked into my parent's house and my mom cried and my dad was severely happy.  they both hugged me.  when we went to my grandparent's house to be with the rest of the family, I walked in and there was silence (I think they were trying to determine who i actually was LOL) and then everyone screamed and all the ladies hugged me and everything.  it really was a great time!  I hope you have the same great experience I have had :)

I've had to look beneath the surface of some of my family's reactions to my weight loss. My mother died a couple of weeks before this last Christmas from complications of obesity. I wanted her to see me healther but she was too far gone to notice. It made me sad. It was selfish but still.

My dad who is slender was proud of me and said so several times. That thrilled me because he has rarely said he is proud of me for any reason.

Then my two sisters are overweight. On the outside they are happy for me and tell me consistently how proud they are of me. Under that though is a hint of jealousy. I have insurance that will pay for it and they don't and so they think somehow that I'm priviledged and I think in some ways think I took the easy way out. They would never say it but I sense it underlying some of their quieter comments.

And then there is my wonderful daughter who didn't want me to have the surgery out of fear. She is also overweight and wants to lose weight but is not willing to undergo surgery for it. She is happy for me, but again, it is not something we talk about much. I share my success with her and she is graceous about it but again, it feels a little like a sore spot. We are very close and very much alike and under it all, we have an unspoken agreement to not talk very much about it.

And then there is my son. Several days after I committed to starting this weight-loss journey, he was killed in Iraq. My initial reaction was to put off the process until I could better cope. But then I realized that he, of anyone else, always encouraged me to get healthy. After he joined the Army, he got really buff and fit and healthy. Whenever we talked he would ask me how I was doing with my weight and if I was exercising. I chose then and there to not let his death interfere with what he had wanted for me and what I needed to do for myself. I chose to continue the process of my weight loss and surgery all the while dealing with the most intense pain I'd ever known. I believe he has encouraged me to succeed even from so far away. I really think he's proud of me without reservation.

My friends are all very supportive; I don't have friends who wouldn't be... but then we get to pick our friends. Family we love regardless, no matter where they are in their live's journey.

 Oh Raven!! I am so sorry about your loss. I can't even imagine. My worst nightmare is losing my son (12)...

Thank you... it was also nothing I could imagine but having lived through it... and continuing to do so, I have realized that life is fragile and not one single minute should be spent in anger with those we love. Hug your boy still he squeeks! LOL... I remember Phillip at 12 and he would barely let me hug him in front of anyone but when he needed me, my arms were always there. We can't protect our kids from life but we can be there when they get hit with it.
(((Hugs)))

Michael is there too. Nothing in front of anyone else, but the second it's just us, he crawls up in my lap and makes me rock him. I hang on to EVERY second (even letting his stay up a little late) he lets me hold him. It's not gonna last much longer.

My heart goes out to you and I will keep you in my thoughts... 

Thank you. They never stop being our baby. :) 

My family was stoked from day one! I only see them every few months (we are 4 hours apart) so when I do see them it's probably a dramatic change to them. They all say how I great I look.

But I have 1 aunt (who's opinion means crap to me anyway) but she's always been small, like 120 small. The last 2 years she's put on weight and now I'm smaller than her. So when I was in NY over Christmas I made a comment about buying size 10 pants and she's like "oh shut up". LOL! Biiiiiiiiiotch.

 That is such a great question, most of my family and I are astranged. My family in MI see me on facebook and are all heavy and I get the occastional BIIAATTCCHH (lovingly of course) my Dad and step mom have only seen me once I can't remember when but I was a few pounds down. And now when I talk to my step mom and she hears "numbers" She says shouldn't stop, isn't that enough? But she hasn't seen me.

my partner who sees me everyday and my homemade "family" all think I've lost to much and want me to stop (I finally told them what I learned in my support group is that I haven't lost to much but that they are not USED to seeing me like this."


The funniest thing is, I went to see my partner's family for Thanksgiving and no one had ANY idea who I was, and when they found out there was a lot of hugs and wows and you look fantastic.

Lord is that all over the board or what?

Oh yeah and then there is my son. Who was afraid of me having the surgery because I won't "feel" the same, but actually crawls in my lap more now than he ever has! (And he's almost as big as me. In fact I raid his closet every weekend for kick back clothes)

wow..a really great question, and i'm gonna use the previous words...

I was estranged from my family...then my mom had a problem and they did not hink she was gonna make it..so I went to the hospital

it had been 4 years since I had seen my sister...so I was finished my weight lose and had 2 rounds of plastics since she had seen me...

she was standing in the hallway talking to the doc when I can up..and I started listening, and she turned around and snapped...we are having a discussion about my mother, and it's rude for you to be listening...

I said..I beleive she is my mother too...and there was silence..lots of it...

she placed me by the voice..

that was 2 years ago, and she tells her clients that I had wls, and has them talk to me..so I guess she is accepting...she is very much the jelous type...but she rose to the times..and she hammered out a 165# weight lose on WW and the gym...she looks great..so I think she saw it could be done..

I work remote...and my boss had not seen me in over a year..and when I went into the office he came in intoduced himself to me...that was fun

but there is a lot of bitter *****es too...

here is my standard ***** retaliation line

"Oh so you cheated and had surgery to lose your weight...I'm soing it the natural way..."

so I respond..."well good for you..but you know I could not stand being obese one second longer...I don;t know how you do it"