Gay and Catholic

I was born and raised Catholic.  Very Catholic.  My dad and mom are descendents of two of the most Catholic countries on the planet, Ireland and the Philippines, respectively.  To this day, I am a confirmed and practicing Catholic, something a lot of my gay friends don't understand.  They only hear the news about a papal authority in the Vatican condemning gays at every opportunity.  But I have been lucky enough to experience the true essence of the church- a loving and accepting people that make up the majority of Catholics.  In fact, here in the Philippines, the people are very tolerant of the gay lifestyle.  In Manila, there is a parish (Saint Aldred) that caters mainly to the gay community.

 

I also knew that I was gay at a very young age.  I never knew exactly why I always felt certain feelings toward members of the same sex, I just knew that I had them.  Ultimately, I was able to reconcile these two opposing aspects of my life early on.

 

The second person I came out to, in 1993 during my freshman year at the University of Hawaii, was my parish priest.  I told him I was gay, expecting nothing less than a reaction filled with fire and brimstone.  But he just smiled and told me, "Chris, there's nothing wrong with being gay.  God loves you."  He then went on to let me know about gay support resources available in Honolulu.

 

I told many members of the Catholic student group at UH as well, with almost always the same reaction.  My mom and dad and extended family on both sides have been very supportive.  I can truthfully say that not one important person to me turned their back on me when I told them I was gay.

 

How did I reconcile these things?  Personally, it was simple.  It's all based on love.  If love is real, if love is true, it can only be sanctioned by God, in no matter what form you see him, her or them.  God gave me the ability to love, no matter who it may be.

 

Tomorrow is Good Friday and I'm excited about what we'll be doing.  Some family and I are climbing one of the tallest mountains in Olongapo City to see a yearly ritual where volunteers crucify themselves.  They used to get nailed to the crosses, but now only use rope.  That's a good thing; I've always been a little squemish around blood.  I'll try to get some pictures of the trek and post them here.

I also rearranged my present pictures, deleted some and uploaded others.  I have some pictures up of my family now, too, so you can see who I share these genes with.

I know that I am probably the exception rather than the rule, and that a lot of people's own experiences have shaped their beliefs.  And I understand that.  Everybody has the right to live their life and achieve happiness in whatever way they see fit.

It's Holy Week now, and I just had to get those thoughts out.

 

Thanks,

 

Chris

Lovely post Chris.  I'm cradle Catholic as well and am fortunate to be in a Parish with a large gay community...mostly guys, but there are a couple of ladies in the woodwork...lol.  Anyway, I'm excited too...we have various services throughout Holy Week and tomorrow will be doing the walking stations from our Parish in Southwest Baltimore to another about 1.5 miles away near Oriole Park at Camden Yards (baseball stadium for those who don't know it).  This is my first year doing the walk.  We do this in observance of Good Friday, but also hope to gather people along the way who have lost their way.  The neighborhoods we will be going through are fighting gangs, drugs, and prostitution.  After that I'm heading to the beach for four days.

Hope you have wonderful Easter!

Brid 

Been meaning to tell you Brid... LOVE THE NEW PIC!!! You are looking absolutely beautiful.

Great Post! 

My family (not me) is all Catholic. They've all been accepting, even my Grandma! One of my Aunts passed away a few yrs ago - she was a lesbian. After her passing and I saw how everyone reacted towards her (rainbows everywhere at her funeral) ...I came out a few months later.

It really warms my heart when I read posts like all of yours. It also warms my heart when I read posts about people being accepted when they come out. I guess that comes from my first friend when he came out. His parents had a hard time. Heck, I did too but I was in love with him and then had my own demons to battle.

I am just so glad all of you have found acceptance in your families and religions.

Chris,

Thanks for posting! And.. I checked your profile and pics out. What a change you have achieved and worked hard for in your life. A very BIG congrats for that.

I relate very much to your story. Although I am not Catholic, I too have a spiritual side in which the Church plays an important part. All too often, the mainstream Christian churches have sent mixed messages to GLBT people. The most prevalent one is "to love the sinner but hate the sin". I understand why many GLBT have left the Church since they are unable to reconcile this mentality to their lives. Of course, much of that burden must also be placed on the Church and congregations. They "MUST love the sinner regardless of the sin". Isn't that what the Bible says? As you stated, you have found the loving church family that does that.

I have spent 20 years working on inclusivity within the Lutheran faith. It has not been a pleasant thing at times. Lately, it has gotten much better and many advances have been made. People always ask why would you stay when you are not welcome. My response is that it is just as much my faith and my tradition as it is others'.

Lately I have had issues with my local congregation and have fallen by the wayside. I am struggling to find that local church family that I feel meets my spiritual needs. I have discovered that this is difficult once you have experienced it and then lost it. 

Thanks again for posting this during Holy Week.
Tom

Chris,

I am an "out" believer too and love how it seems like there are more supportive folks out there. I attend a open and affirming congregation and we are also celebrating Holy Week...but I am home sick today so will miss Maundy Thursday celebrations. Hope to be well by Easter. A few weeks ago some friends of mine (a lesbian couple) were "married" and it was so great to see their pastor and all their friends and family be so loving and supportive!

Thanks for the post!

deb366

Thanks for the words, everyone.  Glad to see that there are others here who feel the same way I do.  Today is Black Saturday, and in commemoration, they're having a Black Saturday Rave at the Arizona Resort just a short walk from where I live.  How appropriate...  I'll be there.


Anyway, I made the pilgrimmage to the top of Mount Balimpuyo, at the summit of which is Three Crosses (Tres Crus in Tagalog).  Oy, vey...  I tell you, I love to hike.  I love to mountain climb.  I have no problem, even on trails of extreme difficultly.  But these were steps, over 1000 of them, that went straight up the side of the mountain.  Each step probably averaged about a foot, meaning we climbed over 1000 feet in, probably, about two thirds of a kilometer.  My legs are hating me today.  I plan on making the climb again before the end of the month.






But once at the top, the view of the city was priceless.  You could see all of Olongapo City, all the way out to Subic Bay and the South China Sea.  It was gorgeous.  The crosses are much larger than they look from sea level.  I thought they were maybe five or six feet tall, but they're over 15 feet tall each.  Unfortunately, because of surrounding thunderstorms, they cancelled the crucifixions for the day.  I told my cousin that after that long walk up, I'd better see someone get nailed to a cross...

We were joined by a few hundred people, all huffing and puffing as they made their way up that stairway from hell.  But it was definitely worth the walk.  People were praying, laughing and lighting candles.  It was much better than my usual yearly Good Friday ritual of watching Jesus Christ Superstar.

Unfotunately, I found out while we were up there that a small child had fallen from one of the cliffs and had died earlier that day.  A small group had gathered on the cliff beneath us to say a prayer for him.

The pictures are clickable, so take a look.  Me?  I'm still recovering.  I'll take a simpler walk today, then begin some training for my next walk up that dern mountain.

Happy Easter tomorrow,
Chris