I'm home and thank you! (LONG)

Words cannot express the kindness and thoughtfulness that is this board.  I can't thank you all enough for your good thoughts and prayers during this really tough time.  You all are gems!

Well, the funeral was beautiful.  the preacher read excerpts from grandpa's memoirs that he and my aunt wrote down last year and gave as christmas presents to all of us.  MANY tears were shed and I'm still not over it.  I can still hear the weeping of my grandmother in my head and I can't get it out and it just tears me apart.  We are a very close knit family.  i spent much of my childhood with them and with me being the firstborn grandson, I was kinda their favorite until my uncle and his wife and kids moved next door.  However they always had a place for me when I would come to town.   The day after the funeral, my cousin and her husband kidnapped grandma and took her back to Nashville, TN to get her mind off things instead of letting her be in an empty house.  This also gave my aunt and uncle time to rearrange the livingroom, put things away and clean up and put away grandpa's spit cups (yeah he chewed tobacco).

it had been 23 years since i had seen many of the people that were at the funeral because the last time I saw them, it was my great grandmother's funeral (my grandfather's mother).  After the funeral, i leaned over to my grandma and told her that it had been 23 years since i've been to that cemetery and it had better be 23 more before I have to come back!  LOL  She laughed and said she was gonna try!

of course no one knew who I was....I had to be introduced to everyone even though i already knew them, I had changed so much that they thought i was some sort of stranger standing next to my mom and dad.  The big shocker was my sister showing up.  She and my grandparents had been estranged for many many years and she decided it was time to bury the hatchet and come together with all of us and mourn a great man.

anyway, I know grandpa is in such a better place now and in no pain and I am so grateful that God answered my prayer that if it was his time to go, make it quick and painless.  During his pneumonia, his lungs collapsed, his brain stopped functioning and his body was just shutting down.....they had him on a bi-PAP and basically the family decided (between my dad, grandma, and the middle uncle and his wife) to take the bi-PAP off and see if he can breathe on his own.  He was breathing for an hour and then he died.  When they had the family come in at the funeral home to look at grandpa, I couldn't go to the casket......I got out of line.  I couldn't stop shaking.....I could only look at him from afar.

oh well....i don't wanna rehash all of this.....I'm sure y'all have your ways of dealing with death and I'm a big baby LOL

now in the leg department, my doctor called me on Thursday this week and he decided not to give me any more anti-biotics since I had been on them for almost 3 weeks.  what has really helped me through all of this is keeping my leg washed and scrubbing the dead layers of skin off and keeping it moisturized with Eucerin lotion and putting compression stockings on.  After the second day of wearing the stockings, I finally woke up with little to no pain at all and no swelling!  it was a miracle!!!!!  however, he did say that if the redness comes back or I get fevered to call him immediately.  i think i'm going to go to my first therapist appointment and tell her that the compression stockings are helping me enough and I don't need her massages to drain the lymph nodes in my leg since she's really dragging her feet on all this.

Anyway, that about it.  it's been a rough month and I am glad to say that i had barely strayed off my diet.  i haven't weighed myself but i do know that I can now wear size 38 pants and size large button down shirts.


I hope you all are doing ok!  And thanks again!

Aaron,

I'm glad you are home and ok. 

I'm so sorry this happened.  Always remember, and share with others the great times with your grandparents.  It will keep his memory alive and give you great comfort.

I'm glad to hear that your leg is getting better.  Try to take some time for you.

Big hugs,

Brent...

Aaron,

Your note does not make you sound like a "big baby" at all but instead a caring, loving, honest sweetheart who has had a tought time recently.  Grieve and reach out all you want!  Thank you for sharing.

So glad to hear your leg is improving!  Go and see if you even like the therapist, maybe that will make your decision to go without massage even easier.

Missed you, Meg

Hugs on issue #1

And on issue #1 - Don't bite yourself when you are mad at someone else. Try the lymphedema massage, it can work WONDERS and make long term improvements. You do need the compression stockings probably forever, but the massage can really help.

Sounds like it was a good funeral. And unless you have been to a bad one you can not imagine how healing a good funeral is. I still have issues about my uncles funeral. Be glad yours was this way.

It's the little things you will remember that will make you smile. Like the cleaning up the spit cups. Mine did the same so I had to smile when you said that.

Be a big baby (your words not mine) if you want. It will healp you during this time. For the record: I think this just makes you human.

Aaron, I am sorry for your loss, you and your family have been in my thoughts and prayers. I am glad you made home safe and your legs are getting better.

Jeff

I am sorry you are going thru what you are going thru but it sounds like you are handling it well.

Good news your foot is better and even better that you didnt eat thru all of this.

My thoughts are with you.

Kevin

Hi Aaron -

Sorry this has been such a rough time for you, but it sounds like you're coming through it with flying colors.  Now that you've spent so much time taking care of everyone else, though, be sure to put a little time aside for yourself.  That's really important, but we always seem to overlook it.

Take care, and I'm glad today is better than yesterday for you.

Don

Aaron,
Glad things went well in WV and am glad you are back home. Sounds like your weight loss is also doing great. Smaller sizes are a great indication. Hey, we are in the same sizes now. I would go to the therapist and give it a try. It may even make you feel much better. Looking forward to seeing you around here more.
Tom

Aaron, first off, i'm glad to hear your leg is doing better! And I wouldn't worry about being a "big baby"...death is never easy especially when you were really close to that person. When my dad passed away last month I thought I was going to really lose it but I think i've been doing pretty well. I have a lot of support but some days I breakdown, especially when I'm by myself. I can be a big baby too but I really don't care lol...it's good to cry so you don't keep everything bottled up inside you...

Hope you have a great day!!!

Christy