How Old Were You When You First... FELL IN LOVE - 16 yrs old LOST SOMEONE CLOSE TO YOU - 21 yrs old (still miss him) DRANK ALCOHOL - 16 yrs old SMOKED WEED - 14 yrs old GOT KISSED - 14 yrs old GOT STUNG BY A BEE LIKE - ?!?! not sure... been allergic to them WENT TO THE HOSPITAL - the day I was born (3months early) GOT YOUR HEART BROKEN - 18 yrs old LOST A PET - 16 yrs old GOT ARRESTED - Never Been SMOKED A CIGARETE - 13 or 14 yrs old BROKE A BONE - never have (knock on wood) GOT JUMPED - Never GOT A JOB - 11 yrs old GOT CHEATED ON - 18 yrs old CHEATED ON SOMEONE - 18 yrs old GOT A BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND - had one in grade school... but seriously 16 yrs old RODE THE CITY BUS - 12 WENT TO A CONCERT - OMG I have no clue! MET SOMEONE FAMOUS - 16 or 17.

Hi Barb, The bad part is....if you're right.....he's married. Although when we first met he and his wife were having problems and he and I got to be very close. We never stepped over the line....but there was definitely something more between us than just friends. However he and his wife worked things out and we remained really good friends. In fact, his wife has become a friend and has never had any problem with my calling him or going out with him. But what you say makes perfect sense. I do wonder now if the problem is that I'm moving on without him. I mean....after he and his wife worked things out, I was still there for him. He had the best of both worlds...his wife and his 'second' wife (as I was once referred to as being by someone that didn't like how close we were). I was still the same old Chris. Maybe he is jealous/worried that I'll find someone and move on and that we'd lose that strange connection that we've had for years. Although, honestly, I'm ready to move on. I still want him as one of my best friends....but I don't want the role as 'second' wife anymore. I finally realize that I'm worth more than being second anything....and I'm ready to be the 'first' in someone's life. So being supportive seems to be what a good friend would do....and I do want to be a good friend. I've just never been very good at turning the other cheek!

Chris my take on this is just what you said that he said... he was scared that he was going to lose you or that you would change. I hear this alot with people that are involved too (married, seeing someone) that they don't want their SO to have the surgery because they are afraid of the changes they are going to make. They always say that a relationship that was strong before surgery will remain strong after and if it is having troubles or not too stable that there is going to be more work involved to keep it together. This is just something I was thinking about is it possible that he has some feelings for you that you are not picking up on? Is he worried that you are going to get all sexified and get all these hot men lusting after you and then he will lose any chance that he thought he might have with you? Just a thought My suggestion is yeah it might be hard to supportive back to him since he wasn't to you but remember how it made you feel when he wasn't supportive to you. I know it sucks but be the better person.

LOL....nope, didn't get in trouble! Although my mom did tell me that my dad didn't sleep well after I called at 2 am to say I wasn't coming home. Poor Dad!! And how was swimming on Saturday?! Did you go to the Red's game? Okay.....who wants to go back out again this Friday??? I'm ready!! I'm so bad at telling people how I feel.....but I guess that's going to be the only way to truly clear the air.

We did talk a few months ago and cleared up a lot of the trouble. He was worried that once I lost the weight that I wouldn't want to be his friend anymore. I assured him that I'd still be his friend, yada yada yada. But he's continued to ask questions or make comments that are more negative regarding the surgery and it really bothers me. One time, I was showing a group of friends a picture I did on photoshop where I compared my before pic with my 6 month pic. I was about 7 months out at the time and he looked at me and very seriously said that it looked like I had gained weight since my six month pic. I was speechless. I think a lot of the trouble, in the beginning, was jealousy and fear of losing me. He's a big guy and a lot of what we've always had in common was our weight. So yeah, you're right on target when you say he's reacting that way out of fear. It just hurts that he's been so crappy to me. As much as I want to hurt him as much as he hurt me.....I also don't want to do to a friend what a friend did to me when I needed them most.