Okay, this is just my 2 cents worth... I know that there are a ton of things that we have to deal with post-op. I have found that no matter how difficult they may be it is all about choice. We have our hormones raging because as we lose weight they are released from the fat where they have been trapped for who knows how long. I have read many post of people that consider there marriage a mess after surgery. So many things are changing. However, you speak very good about your husband. You said... there's just a HUGE void there because I don't feel the kind of passionate love for him that I should. Again...this is NOT a new issue...what's new is that I now have to deal with it instead of stuffing that unhappiness with food. I can only speak for myself when I say that I was not as passionate with my husband (even though we had not been married that long) as I wanted to be. However, as I lose more and more weight I become more comfortable in intimate situations. I found that a lot of the problems that were so major to me melted away when I got to the point that I had to be happy with myself. I will be saying a prayer for you and your husband and if you want to talk you can email me. I check my email everyday...sometimes twice a day. I think that you are making a good choice in getting some marriage consuling. It is so worth working out when you have a good man. Take care of yourself Paula. Shannon The Irish Lassie 266/186/140 46lbs. from goal

Sorry I don't have any words to help, but know that you are not alone! I"m going through the exact same thing right now. I wish you the best of luck Katie

Shirley,I agree with Kathy.Your husband was wrong...because you had that money BEFORE you took your vows and I'm guessing that he knew what you were saving that money for..am I right? what is more important to him any way..the money..or you well being ? I hope everything works out for you.Keep in touch~Ms.Mary

Lets see: I have been Married for 7.5 years. Children: I have 8 year old twins ( 1 boy 1 girl) and a 3 year old( boy) I am a paraoptemetric. I assist optometrists.I love my job. the people I work with. My kids are my everything. They are my purpose for being. My hobbies include: Sporting events, Broncos, Nuggets Avalanch, and yes even the last place colorado rockies. I had surgery on 06/30/04, about a month ago. I am down 50 lbs and am so excited to get to my goal weight. I started at 305 My goal weight is 150. maybe I wont leave the stadium with bruises on my hips from the way to narrow seats.. My other hobbies include playing , teaching ,and learning from my children. I love to camp, Hike , bike, swim altho those are things I haven't done in a while. These will come with my new life.. Thanks for the great post. Its good to get to know everyone in here better. Make this board a little more active.. Korianne

I don't know if this is going to help you or not. Yes, I understand that you had this money before you were married. However, when you got married that changed everything!!!! I am not saying that you don't deserve to have this surgery. I felt as if my life was going to be over before long if I didn't have it. I don't agree with the first response you got. There is no longer "yours" and "his". You took vows before God and your family and friends. You even said yourself that it left you little to no money to pay bills. God will make a way for you to do anything if it is His will. With that being said, it will also happen in His time and not ours. We or I find myself trying to help God along because it is not happening fast enough. I don't know your situation as well as you do. I can tell you that if you are doing this...it is not just for you. Nor, will it affect just you. If you have this surgery and it improves your life to the expectations that you have...Who will you spend that life with? You feel you are all alone. God is always with you and know that you are never alone. Sit back and think of the reasons that you got married in the first place. With a lot of prayer, you can find your way back to each other. There is a middle ground in all of this you just have to find. Is it possible that you could pay half now and the rest in payments? Is there some adjustments that you could make in your budget? You seem to be level headed or you wouldn't have been able to save the 2,000.00 that you have. The best advice I can give you is to save your married at all cost. The rest will fall into place, as long as you put your faith in God. Shannon The Irish Lassie 266/196/140