Thoughts for today...... I been thinkin again...

Have you ever asked yourself these questions and been honest with yourself... When does it go to "I am strong and I believe" to "I have to be strong or no one will believe" When do you go from......" I need to stop caring " to...." I dont give a fluck"...... When "Does it really matter" to "What the hell did I just do"..... When does it go from "this is what I mean " to "this what they think I mean" When does it go from "I need to step back and evaluate" to "I better get out of the way" When does it go from "I need to hold on tighter" to "Its time to let go" When is time to say " I gave it all" to "if I only woulda gave more" How does one forgive if they will never forget ? How do we work on the future, if we keep living the past? How do we find new relationships if we judge on past relationships? How do we start over if we are afraid of starting anything. How do we comunicate if we are afraid of truth?

I hate when you think.....it makes me think..... Sounds like you're on the brink of a big decision....one of those ****e or get off the pot kind of deals. One of those "I'm standing on the edge and either I jump or I turn away" kind of decisions. So for me....it was always which was the easiest to do. Seriously. I always took the easy way out. It may not have been the healthiest, wisest or smartest decsion....but it was the easiest and that's all that I was interested in. Now...I go more for what is best for me. Even if the decision is the harder of the two choices, if the benefit is better in the long run then I know which choice I have to make.

You see Chris I love AND hate when he does this.... he makes ME think about things that we all should be thinking about all the time but for whatever reason choose not too. I guess I am my own worst enemy and I DO gotta stop living in the past because there is NOTHING I can do to go back and change it just learn from it, and practice what I have learned in the future and hope for the best!! It is because of all the friends I have made here on OH that I have pushed myself the way that I have so each and everyone of you have contributed to the way I am today!! I didn't believe before, I do now, I didn't care before I do now and there are still a few things I am still working on but I think we are all walking this walk together and it is always a learning process!! Thanks everyone for being there! I love you all!!

Have you ever asked yourself these questions and been honest with yourself... When does it go to "I am strong and I believe" to "I have to be strong or no one will believe" - culture and society When do you go from......" I need to stop caring " to...." I dont give a fluck"...... - when the BS has reached its highest level... When "Does it really matter" to "What the hell did I just do"..... - regret happens, life goes on....you learn to deal as it all goes on... When does it go from "this is what I mean " to "this what they think I mean" - self doubt, who doesnt have it?!?!? When does it go from "I need to step back and evaluate" to "I better get out of the way" - strong personality, strong person, strong control, better judgement... When does it go from "I need to hold on tighter" to "Its time to let go" - so many things, so little time, once you realize it, it becomes even more important... When is time to say " I gave it all" to "if I only woulda gave more" - which time? beat yourself up... why, did you forget, there is something/someone who is alot bigger in charge? How does one forgive if they will never forget ? - takes much time, still no answer for this... How do we work on the future, if we keep living the past? - great question, culture... How do we find new relationships if we judge on past relationships? - by sticking your heart out there to learn to love, laugh, smile, and cry. How do we start over if we are afraid of starting anything. - time will come and many will understand. Its who you are...will answer all the questions... How do we comunicate if we are afraid of truth? - suckit up and realize its the truth. Speak it, or dont talk....