What if (post-op's)???????

OK for you post-op's got a hypothetical for ya.   What if you were considering surgury and knew what your outcome was going to be, like you know that you'd drop permanent weight what ever each of you have lost already, but your wife said if you do this then we are done, over, through, finished.

Would you still have the surgury? This is a hypothetical, not my situation just wondering.

Wow, tough question. I think I would still have had the surgery. I am in so much better health now and have had my life saved twice by my RNY that I would hope to win my wife back. Many of these ultimatums are due to insecurity on the part of the demander. They are afraid that you won't love them anymore or that you will be off searching for a new woman now that you are  a new man. I was fully supported by my wife and family so I didn't have any of these problems. I pray for those who face this situation.

I think you would have to add her body weight to your overall total of excess weight lost due to the WLS. 

Haha, nice! When I was a kid, a worker at my Dad's office once told me he lost 150 pounds in one week. I of course was amazed and asked how the hell that was possible. He told me he had gotten a divorce!

To thine ownself be true. Any women who would do that is probably going to leave anyway (or should). Just my .02

My wife told me if I weighed less than her she would leave me. She laughed and so did I, I am a single father now for the past 3 months. If she says that she will leave you when you get the surgery, tell her to not wait and to go now. She is being selfish and doesnt care for your health and wellbeing. I wish this was hypothetical but it happenned to me and I think I am becoming happier everyday she is not there. New body, new life?

I agree with Doug! Somebody in your life needs some serious counseling... My wife is thrilled with the "new" me.  Most of us change remarkably in terms of overall health and that is most important should you encounter health problems later. There is no way that I'd be battling cancer as successfully as I am if I still carried the extra weight. DO IT!!!! Dave 

Great question! I was very lucky, in that I had the support of everyone in my life!  But, this type of thing HAS happened to some friends of mine from my weight loss surgery group. If this was me?  I would STILL have it, in a heartbeat.  This surgery was for ME and no one else.  Anyone who does something (or doesn't do something!) FOR someone else is making a huge mistake... Also, there is a huge possibility that she would be just "blowing smoke up your butt" by saying that.  She might actually come around!  And if not, then truly, your best interests were never hers!  What was fueling her in saying this?  Is she, perhaps, insecure that you will get better looking and then leave her?  Is she obese, and she simply wants a "partner in crime" to eat with?  These must all be looked at. But in all honestly, regardless of the reasons, if this was a scenario which I would have been faced with, my outcome would have been no different.  I would have gone through with the surgery, knowing that I would be doing this to make ME a much more healthy, and happier person!  And besides, if I am healthier and happier, I could be there just that much more for the rest of the family!  So, there you go! :) Great hypo question! - Mike

My only question would be, what kind of wife/partner wouldn't want their partner to to be happier/ healthier?  I'd have the surgery and find a better partner (hypothetically speaking, of course!)

I'd dump that hypothetical witch, remember, you can bag a better bimbo with a new svelt body. Let's assume the buzzard is pushing 50 years old. You could always get 2 twenty year olds and you would feel better. Hell, you could always bang her younger sister (emphasizing your extra , ahem, inches) and make her feel bad.  Life is too short to put up with a negative ***** Hypothetically speaking of course...