No Support (or at least......)
I'll be the one thorn in your side and ask you to show a little patience. You seem to feel that you need the surgery immediately. And, you do qualify for it. But, since you started posting on this forum, you've shown no concern for your family situation. I do agree that I doubt that you could lose the weight by diet and exercise and will probably need WLS. I just wonder if you need it right now.
I do remember that you recently posted that you were looking into which Federal health ins men had that would cover the surgery. I still strongly believe that you are better off having health ins pay for the WLS than paying for it yourself.
Please realize that I am not against you having the WLS. I just question you desire to act so rashly.
sorry, with bajaaddict on this one. brutal as it is something sounds wrong to me. $100 a month versus a new you is tip money. of course i don't have a tenth of the story you put out but it just can't be about the money from what i'm reading.
if it is for some reason, then educate her on the term "set point". that's where your body wants to stabalize. it will do anything to get back to that weight. then it wants to put a cushion on that weight. one of the reasons we gain back and then more. there's a lot of physical and chemical stuff going we never even knew about a decade ago concerning obesity. once we get to our size all kinds of crap happens. we're no longer in the group can just diet and lose 20 pounds. it's a whole new ballgame for us once we get obese.
i'm not going to speculate what the problem is because i don't have enough info. i only know somethings fishy and ain't a money issue if you can have this for $100 a month. hell, that's the same as a cell phone bill that went a little over your monthly usage! sticking my nose where it doesn't belong but since you posted, i would get to the bottom of this. something else is chapping her ass about your surgery. some of the guys mentioned she's probably insecure about what you'll do once you're stud muffin. yeah, it happens but only if you give her reason to think that! carbonblob
if it is for some reason, then educate her on the term "set point". that's where your body wants to stabalize. it will do anything to get back to that weight. then it wants to put a cushion on that weight. one of the reasons we gain back and then more. there's a lot of physical and chemical stuff going we never even knew about a decade ago concerning obesity. once we get to our size all kinds of crap happens. we're no longer in the group can just diet and lose 20 pounds. it's a whole new ballgame for us once we get obese.
i'm not going to speculate what the problem is because i don't have enough info. i only know somethings fishy and ain't a money issue if you can have this for $100 a month. hell, that's the same as a cell phone bill that went a little over your monthly usage! sticking my nose where it doesn't belong but since you posted, i would get to the bottom of this. something else is chapping her ass about your surgery. some of the guys mentioned she's probably insecure about what you'll do once you're stud muffin. yeah, it happens but only if you give her reason to think that! carbonblob
(deactivated member)
on 1/8/08 3:52 am - MN
on 1/8/08 3:52 am - MN
To echo a lot of sentiments here, Jack, this surgery is for YOUR healthy...not hers. I hate to be brutal towards her, but is she doesn't realize the many huge benefits you both will experience for a measily $100 a month, I think she has a deeper issue then the coinage.
I wish you the best though. And vent away anytime!
Maybe she is just scared...and that is the way she is reacting to the news? I mean lets face it surgery is a big deal.....any surgery, and WLS is a HUGE deal. Peopel who've never had a weight problem, just don't understand that diet and exercise do not work. If money is her real issue...the cut 100 dollars a month (or there abouts) form you own spending money. I mean brown bagging it to lunch alone can save some people 100 or 200 a month...and think about this...the first few months post op, your food bill will be so much lower then it was preop.
Scott
I hate to sound like an asshole.... although that never stopped me before 
If it is truly "all about the money" and not your health and well being, I'd do a serious accounting of your relationship - if I were in your shoes. I'd get 'er done anyway, and let the chips fall where they may. If she cares that little for your health, you are better off without her IMHO.
Of course, you are the only one who truly knows your situation. I am just going by what you have written and my admittedly chauvinistic view 
You may have children to think of, or other considerations.
Society is pretty unfair, with regard to a "salary per weight" ratio. Four months after having my surgery I had the confidence to tell my psychotic tyrant of a boss to shove it... and accepted another job for 10K more a year. I fly around the country now and meet with clients as my department's "Front Man" - there is no way that I would have been considered for this position when I was overweight.
The point is that the lousy C note a month should not even be a consideration. You will make that up in spades, when you consider the enhanced earning potential that WLS can grant.
And look at the flip side financially, of not pursing WLS. Obesity related health care costs, including time off work and a shortened employment window (re: premature death) could easily average more than a $100 per month loss.
And while I would caution anyone from following my in my rocky relationship footprints, one thing I have found to be a absolute universal truth - Women will look down on you with scorn and disrespect if you try to comply with their every demand, command, or ridiculous whim.
Anyhooooooooooooo.... just my opinion, as I stated before. Your mileage may definitely vary!
Edit: If your family is willing to lay out the cash with the extremely generous payment plan that you mentioned, that tells me that they are behind you 100% - you would do well to realize what a positive thing for you that is. Indeed, a lot of guys here had the ol' lady and the kinfolk against them regarding WLS.
If it is truly "all about the money" and not your health and well being, I'd do a serious accounting of your relationship - if I were in your shoes. I'd get 'er done anyway, and let the chips fall where they may. If she cares that little for your health, you are better off without her IMHO.
Of course, you are the only one who truly knows your situation. I am just going by what you have written and my admittedly chauvinistic view You may have children to think of, or other considerations.
Society is pretty unfair, with regard to a "salary per weight" ratio. Four months after having my surgery I had the confidence to tell my psychotic tyrant of a boss to shove it... and accepted another job for 10K more a year. I fly around the country now and meet with clients as my department's "Front Man" - there is no way that I would have been considered for this position when I was overweight.
The point is that the lousy C note a month should not even be a consideration. You will make that up in spades, when you consider the enhanced earning potential that WLS can grant.
And look at the flip side financially, of not pursing WLS. Obesity related health care costs, including time off work and a shortened employment window (re: premature death) could easily average more than a $100 per month loss.
And while I would caution anyone from following my in my rocky relationship footprints, one thing I have found to be a absolute universal truth - Women will look down on you with scorn and disrespect if you try to comply with their every demand, command, or ridiculous whim.
Anyhooooooooooooo.... just my opinion, as I stated before. Your mileage may definitely vary!
Edit: If your family is willing to lay out the cash with the extremely generous payment plan that you mentioned, that tells me that they are behind you 100% - you would do well to realize what a positive thing for you that is. Indeed, a lot of guys here had the ol' lady and the kinfolk against them regarding WLS.
Man the proverbial rock and a hard place!
I tend to agree with the sentiments of most everyone here. As I have mentioned to you my wife wasn't thrilled about the prospect of me having this surgery either. Not to mention the cost. I was lucky and insurance covered 95% of it.
Like most of the guys the money involved in missing your income, your additional meds, as well as home care should have a stroke, heart attach, limb removal due to diabetes is far more than the 20,000 the surgery will cost you.
Possibly get some financial and informational data together about people in your weight category and the odds that ceretain maladies could befall upon you and the cost to house you as well as to keeo you alive etc.
I wish you luck. DO NOT GET DISCOURAGED....PLEASE!
She will come around and will be glad that she did.
Good luck and keep posting.
Hmmmm. Hard wood floors, OK. New dining room set, OK. Vasectomy, OK.
There it is! It was a vasectomy, not a castration. I know this will start some **** but. Discussion and consultation in any relationship is a must, but sometimes we have to go into overtime for the tie breaker.
It sounds like you have made your case and illustrated it to her reasonably. If she still refuses to consider your health and happiness above the hardwood floors, so be it. Throw those stones up on the table and TELL her your decision. (Just be sure that she doesn't have any concealed weapons first.)
Good Luck
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