follow up to Atty Dallas
I think that change is very difficult for most people. If I could have easily changed the way I deal with food and exercise, I would not have required surgery. But I was unable to change my eating habits or get myself to exercise regularly (My name is Jim and I am a recovering couch potato). I have used my surgery to get control of my eating habits, no matter what my mind wants and have used the positive feelings I have gained since surgery to make daily exercise part of my life (and use my dislike for change to keep me on the program). These physical changes are much easier to make than the mental changes.
I have been husky/overweight/fat/fluffy all my life, that is 44 years of programing my mind to think like a fat man, it is having wrapping itself around these changes. I hated looking at myself in pictures or mirrors, because many times I was thinner in my mental picture than in reality) I have lost 80 pounds in just over 2 months (I still have a ways to go, but I have come so far already)! (blows my mind) When I look in the mirror I don't see any changes (I am blown away when I look at my pre WLS photos and my current photos). 44 years of ingrained thinking will not go away in just 2 months, I guess I wonder if I will feel like I always have. I have to make myself see myself differently, by daily reaffirming the changes that are occurring in me.
On the positive side, I am feeling really good about myself. I have been setting goals for myself and achieving them. It is so much easier just to do thinks and get around. I had to tie my son's shoes the other day and it was easy to stand up! I do not think my life will get any better than it has been, it will be my perception and attitude that makes it seem better.
Jim
One of the great things about the WLS program at Duke is in combines, nut, shrink, and surgeon all in the same program. When you go for your pre-surgery shrink eval it's with a really great Harvard trained doctor who has specialized in eating issues for 15 years. They have a lot of really good questionnaires you fill out beforehand including one that ask what is your current mental image of your body size/type is before surgery and what is your expectation of success afterwards. They have various body images from buff to slob with everything in-between. They are looking for eating disorders but they are also working to set proper expectation for folks who want to have WLS. The real truth of the matter we are not all going to end up looking like Mr. Olympia but at least we will be healthy. From Duke's seminars on WLS they consider you a success if they cure your medical issues like sleep apnea, high blood pressure, Type II diabetes, and chronic pain. That is what gets my surgeons excited about what they do. As Dr. Pointiner said one day in a meeting on day, being able to CURE those types of problems is why he became a doctor.
My shrink has told me repeatedly during the WLS honeymoon period that it will take many months for you self image to catch up to what out outward appearance really looks like to others. I am two years out and have been at a stable weigh for over 12 months now and it really does not hit me that I have shrunk so much till I see myself in pictures with my brother who have been skinny his whole life. I have always been much bigger than him but now I am just taller. We have the same relative body size but I am 6’3” and he is 5’11”. Now when I see pictures of me from my 460lbs days I don’t even recognize who that guy is anymore. I am comfortable with my new image but it still looks weird to me. My shrink tells me that will pass over time. She says that the longer you were overweigh the longer it can take before your comfortable with the new you. Regards, Tim
I just wanted to say that I read a lot in this thread about looking in the mirror and not liking what you see. I will be 56 and have not seen myself in years. I have always been so ashamed, or disgusted, that I can look in the mirror and no "see" myself. If I am combing hair, that is all I see. I have, over the years, actually amazed myself at how good we get at this. How can you not see "yourself" in the mirror. I can do it.
Now that I am more at peace with myself and my newer size, I think it is time for me to take stock in what is really in the mirror. Really time to face reality.
Is there anyone else good at avoiding yourself?
Thanks
Lou
WARNING!! Lie Detectors Tell the Truth!
Lou
