Elephant Rock does (in) the Tour de Fat

After 2 consecutive years of completing the 100 mile one day Elephant Rock ride, I was unable to complete it yesterday and was relegated to do the metric century which equates to 65 miles. Why didn't I finish you ask? Well, here's my excuse.  While back in Iowa last week, I was riding my nephew's hybrid bike and had an "endo." No, not the endo (scope) they stick up your ass but the kind where: "A 90 year-old blind as a bat lead-foot driver fails to see your turn-left signal and nearly runs you over and you end up dumping the bike and going "endo" over "endo" the handlebars and bounce off the concrete two or three times."   Big Boner can verify my story as he provided me the much needed Vicadin pain killers after my "brush with death." Still bruised and battered after the endo, I tried to do the 100-miler but my chest (bruised ribs) wouldn't cooperate as I was in pain every time I breathed heavily which, if you saw the elevation map, was pretty much the entire first 30 miles.  So, it's cool I made the attempt but not so cool I failed. That said, since Chad so graciously attibutes his Triathelon "Wins" to you guys here in the locker room, I too shall be equally gracious to credit you all for my "FAILURE." So, this loss is for you *******s here in the Locker Room. We can't win them all, can we? On to the Ride the Rockies in two weeks. Boner  

The fact that you managed 100km is great considering your injuries - definitely not a failure - imo. 

Hey Boner........no way I would consider what you have done in the Elephant Rock Ride a "failure".  Heck, I admire you for even attempting the ride after going over the handlebars and being all bruised up.  I went over the handlebars on a dirt motorcycle some years back and can understand how you felt.  And going 65 miles in that kind of elevation is a tremendous feat.  Hope you heal up for the Ride the Rockies in 2 weeks.  Hang in there Boner.  YOU did the Locker Room PROUD!!

Boner, I would love to have that kind of a failure! Way to go, good effort, and I'll be glad to take the credit for your success on this ride. Scott

Boner - You didn't fail.  The only you could have failed is if you hadn't tried.  Trust me on this one.  I know failure.  Living in Iowa, I know all about the "awesome driving skills" of our elderly!  I have decided to follow your outstanding lead and at 275 I will buy my first road bike.  I am so looking forward to completing my first century ride, but let's be honest, I am looking forward to my first 25 mile ride! Congrats, and good luck on the Ride the Rockies.  Watch out for the old people!

So Boner, what type of training did you do to get to the point of being able to ride for 100 miles at once. Scott

Boner,  You big ***** Yea thats right I said it and I'll say it again you big *****!!! Let a little rolling hill kick your butt.  BwaHahaha!!!! Can't wait until I could ride 25 mile let alone the altitude hell when ever I get to the mile high I'm out of breath taking a good crap!! You did good brother! Nothing to prove here.  C'ya Bob (New member of The Tour De Fat Club)

Thanks for the support RockyTop. I knew if anyone could prop me up, it would be you and Bama!! You big ***** Yea thats right I said it and I'll say it again you big *****!!! Let a little rolling hill kick your butt.  BwaHahaha!!!!

Hey Scott, As I recall, this was my post-WLS cycling regiment which began at 400 pounds, 2-3 weeks post-op: 1. Coast down the hill, walk the bike up the hill - first couple of days 2. Coast down the hill, pedal for 30 seconds, walk the bike up the hill - end of week 1 3. Pedal round the block - week 2 4. Pedal round the subdivision - weeks 3 and 4 5. Escape the subdivision and pedal 5 miles, then 10, then 20, then 30 then......months 2 - 9 6. Ride Elephant Rock - first 100 miler - month 10 and around 250 pounds or so.  Boner

  I think somebody has already said this ,but The only way you could have failed would have been not to try ! Great job . BTW I too know the joy's of being ran off the road . Its fun aint it !  Best wishes  Nick  ( BTW I think we need a smily face on a bike for our club )